Annoying the Vamps 2
by linkinparkfan9799
Summary: Ann Siam is BACK with new annoying measures, and a new problem. Multiple boys are asking for her hand in dating-you thought I was going to say Marriage? HA!-and she has to choose. WHICH SEX GOD WILL BE TORTURED FOR LIFE? And which one will pick up her order of more C4?
1. Chapter 1

**Ann is one of my favorite OCs, so I HAD to write another~**

**Yuki belongs to xDemonChickx**

**SEQUEL TO ANNOYING THE VAMPS!**

**Annoying the Vamps 2**

_One_

"Ann, Zero's here~" Mom calls over Al's birthday party.

I stop stuffing C4 into the birthday cake. "Oh come on! I don't have any more explosives!"

"What have you been using them for?" she walks in, not suspecting a thing.

"Oh, to get stalkers away from Rakisu~" I rock on my soles.

Rakisu is the WORLD'S GREATEST COUSIN! She's not actually blood relation, seeing she's a Pureblood, but she's the BEST! You see, it all started when my mom started something called 'kindergarten'. Her best friend there followed her through life, proved herself a crack-pot, and she produced one through the 'birds and the bees'! I think Naomi might like her (^^). I see Mom has a package, which she sets on the counter. I skip over and lean on the counter, bouncing. "Oh, this huh?" she sighs. I nod energetically. "For you. It's from some 'Yuki Hishino'."

I raise a brow and rip it up, beaming at the contents. "PLUSHIES AND A MK 47 RIFLE! Ooh~ Manga! I was running short~"

Zero Kiryu enters with a tiny present (probably for fcking Al -_-;). "Hey An-WHAT THE FCK IS SHE DOING WITH ONE OF THOSE?"

"Easy," I beam, ignoring all gun safety rules of 'safe direction' and 'don't point at anything you're not willing to destroy'. That, and 'beware of surroundings'. "Somebody likes me~SO FCK YOU KIRYU!" I stick up the bird.

"Oh dear," Mom sighs.

"I honestly feel deeply sorry for you," Zero shakes his head.

"What are you doing here anyways?" I cross my arms, the rifle 'coincidentally' pointed at the window and at Al's head, finger on trigger (again, another rule broken 'FINGER OFF TRIGGER!').

"Yuki forced me," he sets the present on the counter. "That, and Headmaster wanted to know if you're coming back for the new school year."

"N-" Mom starts.

"YES~~~" I glomp Zero, his face reddening a little (hmmm…). "Are you getting a boner?" I smirk.

"N-NO!" he shoves me off. "J-Jeez!"

"He totally has a boner!" I tell Mom. "His expression says it all~"

"S-SHUT UP!"

Mom walks him to the party. I duck and empty Zero's wallet that I snatched, shoving in 'Barney bucks', 'Life cash', 'Monopoly money', and Operation pieces (that's operation currency~). I sneakily (with my super ninja powers) place the wallet back on the counter while managing to knock over the present and a few priceless glass vases that held relatives ashes. All part of my plan~(Okay, it's not…). People rush in and I immediately point to a Sebastian plushie. "THE BUTLER DID IT! THE SEXY DEMON BUTLER THAT, IF I WAS A BOY, WOULD GIVE ME BONERS DID IT!"

Everyone blinks. Al tugs on Mom's skirt. "Mommy, what's a boner?"

"It's a sexual attra-"I _try _to be an angelic older sister and explain, but Mom and Zero cover my mouth.

"It's a special present for only boys," Mom laughs nervously.

"Dude, that's sick," I mumble into her hand. I lick Zero's, making him immediately yank it away.

"What the hll?" he wipes his hand on his pants.

"Savoring Mr. Sexy's taste~" I laugh, skipping into my own room to pack. "Ooh! I'm gonna to the Aca~demy! I'm going to the Aca~demy! I'm gonna to the litteral Hll~I'm gonna to see the wonderful Aca~demy, that should be called 'Hot-Ta~mallee Ci~ty~'."

So ladylike~. The floor shakes and I walk placidly downstairs to see traumatized kids about to dig into the cookies and cake. Zero and Mom cross their arms and narrow their eyes at me. "What? T.N.T stands for 'Traumatizing Ninny Toddlers' for a reason."

**Moral: T.N.T means 'Traumatizing Ninny Toddlers'**

**Second Moral: People should follow gun safety before people get hurt**

**Third Moral: My ninja skills are rusty ='(**

**REVIEW!**

**I'll take suggestions for Ann's boyfriend! (or if she goes out of the closet for some odd reason…I don't THINK she's gay…)**


	2. Chapter 2

_Two_

"My torture paradise at last~" I sing, swaying. "Isn't it marvelous Yuki? All those innocent souls, unsuspecting…young…_doomed_…"

Yuki inches away at my plain observations (I think she has issues o_o). I tug the rolling suitcase coated in barbed wire across the path and I see the Night Class uniforms not far. "KANAME!" I wave. "YO KANAME! IT'S ME! ANN!"

He ignores me _completely_. How rude! Time for a manner's lesson~I stomp over and take out Marvin, stabbing his head into Kaname's back and pressing the button. Kaname jerks like a fish on an electric unicorn~ (IT CAN HAPPEN! You just need to believe~). "HEY!" he jerks away, twitching as an after-effect. "Oh it's _you_."

"Kaname~" I hug him tightly, making sure to crack a rib. "Meet Sebastian!" I shove the sexy plushie in his face. "Isn't he mouth-watering?"

He blinks. "You're in love with a plushie?" he pokes Sebastian's stomach.

I scowl at his insolence and kick him in the nuts. He crumbles. "There. Insolence forgiven btch."

I stomp off, patting Sebastian. Hanabusa runs over to Kaname and screams. I turn to see he's facing me with a horrifid expression. "Y-YOU?" he shrieks. "HOW COULD CROSS LET YOU BACK HERE?"

"Easy~I'm lovable~" I skip off in the direction of the girls' dorms. Yuki follows. "So Yuki, how's Headmaster?"

"Good, still-"

"Dang it. Have to sneak something in his lunch now…Bye~"

She blinks after me as I run off to Dorm number 666, the door cracked and a sign reading 'Ann Siam' on the front. I open it to see it's painted a light shade of red and an upside down star is painted on the ground with dark-red stuff that smells awfully metallic and black candles flickering on the tips of each leg. I cock my head to the side. "Oh, there you are!" a familiar voice cheers. "Ann~"

I drop my bags and glomp none other than Rakisu. "RAKISU YOU SON OF A BTCH I MISSED YOU~" I squeeze her torso. "Now I shall rule the school with my profit~"

She sighs, shaking her head, the blood-red curls brushing her shoulders each time they pass the area. "I keep telling you I'm not a-"

"Tell me!" I stand on the bed with no pants on (WHERE DID THEY FCKING GO!). "Uh…My pants…WHERE DID THEY FCKING GO!"

"Um…I don't…know?" she stares at my choice of under-clothing.

What's wrong with baby cows? HUH? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM!

So, we go on the grand quest of finding my FCKING PANTS before someone sees me wearing baby-cow-underwear, seeing that's an apparent PROBLEM in this dmn academy. Eventually, she just sticks me in a bed sheet and cuts holes in them. I sift through my bag to unpack and she eventually hands me two letters and a nice, hefty package (this should be good~).

"For you," she shrugs, going back to her pinning voodoo dolls of what strangely looks like the Night Class (hmmm…) on the ceiling above her bed.

I open the first one from 'Yuki Hoshino'. Now I _know _it's good~

_Dear Ann,_

_Hi! I'm Yuki, and in case ya don't know, I'm a big fan and I'll be sending you random unsafe and random unstable substances my mom makes (careful: they have been known to cause the following: killing of all birds in the area, giant explosions, laughing gas, fainting, burning, traumatizing people, and more) anyway…yuv you and Sebby. Enjoy and cause mayhem._

_Your Faithful Insane Follower,_

_Yuki Hoshino_

NO NEED TO TELL ME TWICE! I rip open the box and gleam at the contents, taking out a Sebastian plushie with a cow costume. "KAWAII~~~~~~~" I dance around with hearts for eyes.

Rakisu takes something out of Heaven's Personal Gift (Yuki and the items~) and she pulls out a nail gun with 'Nancy the Nail Gun' on a tiny tag. I take it and read the second one. I smirk evil-like behind the bed-sheet and face the ceiling. "God hath sent me a sign, and that is to MAKE THESE SOULS COWER BEFORE THY RULER! MUHAHAHAHAHA!"

Rakisu just takes out a camera and films my 'ruler rant' (see what I did there? *he-he*). "You know, I should be asking for _rent _if you're staying with me…"

I freeze and turn to her, a little question-mark in my head. "Speaking of dorms and sht…why are you in the Day Class?"

"I'm not. I just stay in these dorms because I don't like the Night Dorms. Headmaster said it was allowed if I had someone in the Day Class girls stay with me, and I hate them, so when I heard he was going to accept you back…" she waves a hand to the room itself. "Voila."

I nod slowly and grab my MK 47 Rifle. I set Nancy on the bed and tuck her in. "Good night Nancy~Ann's gonna go out and pretend to be a ghost~"

"Of what?" Rakisu re-lights one of the candles.

I think. "Of Garry!"

"Your mailman?"

I chuckle mischievously. "Let's just say Garry stepped…across the line…hehe…"

"He got hit by a car, didn't he?"

I bawl. "I MISS GARRY!"

Eventually, I sneak out of the window, the bed sheets now painted black with Rakisu's make-up cabinet and I dash through the trees, scrambling up one (and my legs freezing because gremlins took my pants). I look around and find Hanabusa. "I'm telling you, she's hot, but INSANE!"

I raise a brow. Who's _he _talking about? I shrug and shoot his knee-cap, making him scream and hold his knee. Did I mention I kinda cursed these bullets? *bashes eyelashes innocently*. "Hanabusa!" Akatsuki, who was hidden behind a tree, supports his cousin.

"HOLY SHT!" Hanabusa screams. "OW!"

I laugh quietly and drop down, shooting Akatsuki's foot. He winces and glares at me. "Who the he-"

"I'm Garry!" I say in my awesome impression of a constipated old coot (along with a little Scooby-Doo ghost). "I shoot all who wander out in the night!"

Hanabusa freezes my shin. _Crp! Like it wasn't cold enough! _"Well, then…I guess you'll have to die then…"

_HOLY SHNIZER I'M TOO YOUNG! That and I need to find out who Hanabuse likes~_ "Sorry, but I have to make the world bow to me," I hold up my MK 47. "So nah."

I kick the ice off and jump back into the trees. For the rest of the night, I just jump out at Day Class students stalking the Night Class (M-Y J-O-B) and say random things in a tone that makes them sound worse. It screwed up once and when I said 'more suffering' and it sounded like 'hore stuffing'. That just plain out made them scarred and scared, so they passed out. It's no fun when they pass out, you know? When I get back to dorm '666' (although it looks like 66 with an added '6'…), I see Rakisu nailing something next to our door.

**Ann Siam **

**Rakisu**

**DO NOT DISTURB**

I sigh as she walks back in and take out a permanent marker and write on the glass backwards so if you look at the window from the outside, it makes the message. It should be:

**Ann Siam **

**For Hire**

**Pay: Candy or Equipment**

I walk back into my dorm and set Nancy on the nightstand, resting a pillow covering over her as a blanket. "Now, be a good girl and tell me when the thief returns with my pants~"

Let's just say _that _backfires a little and my head gets a nail in it, and I bolt up to see little midgets with my pants. I blink and slowly lay back down, just letting my nightmares of lawyers and suits and dresses and corsets scare me to sleep.

**Review~**

**And Yes, ANN IS UP FOR HIRE~~~~**

**Ann: Honestly, I think she just ran out of GOOD stuff…**

***gloom* Ann-san…**


	3. Chapter 3

_Thre__**e**_

I yawn and wake up to Rakisu mumbling some junk about 'sacrifice' and 'suffering' in the center of that stupid star (I'm serious, why does it smell like dmn metal?). She spots me awake and stands, waving once. "Yo. Classes today~"

I groan and chuck a pillow at her head, making her knock back into a wall. "Don't mention it…"

She checks my pillow and shakes my new blood-red pillow case at the end to let a concrete slab crash through the ground and on some girl in her dorm below. "OW!" she shrieks. "WHAT THE-"

May I say she has a potty mouth as she curses on for fifteen minutes straight. Someone knocks and I open the door to Yuki. "Yuki~" I glomp her. "What can we-"

She holds out a package and I blink, accepting it. She also points to the window. "Really?" she sighs.

"What? I NEED SUGAR WOMAN!" I shake her shoulders roughly.

She blinks and I slam the door in her face (I think…). I set the package on the bed and rip it open, finding the note. It's my insane follower Yuki~Yay~~~

_Dear Ann,_

_It's me again, just wanted to say Hi and tell you I already shredded the Instruction manuals and safety manuals for you! So no need to worry! I hope you enjoy your new supplies and cause some more mayhem and since you're for I added a special treat to the package, I tuv you and the job is:_

_Make Hanabusa pee his pants for me :) _

_Your Truly Insane Faithful Follower from Hell,_

_Yuki Hoshino_

I smile and hug the note. "Yay~~~" I dig in the box to take out a tiny box midget that had 'little gift' on the tag. I lick it first, and after tasting the lead, open it to MK 47 Rifle bullets and a tazer named 'Faithful Insane Follower Yuki'. When I check the tazer's gender (very carefully folks), I'm more confused on why it's a boy. I shrug it off and dig again in the box, Rakisu also helping. She pulls out a blow-up ball pit and Yuki comes back with a bigger box, hands it to me, and scurries out of the room in what seems like horror. Huh, must not like candles. I open that with Sabrina the Scissors to find 'Emo-colored' plastic balls. I guess it's for the ball pit.

"Oi Ann," Rakisu calls. "You have seven jars of weird gunk labeled 'HAVE FUN'…"

I take them and look to see 'Caution' crossed out and, indeed, HAVE FUN scribbled underneath. I smile. "This ought to be fun…"

"Oh wait, you have…a maid's outfit?"

I peek in and take out a female Sebastian wig, Sebastian eye contacts, a fake tattoo of his symbol (I keep forgetting the name…), a black maid uniform, Sebastian gloves, eighteen-hundred style boots, Ciel's cane (reminded somewhat of a pimp cane here…), and silverware made to fit snuggly in the uniform pockets. I think about the scheme at hand and rub my hands together darkly. "Now…NOW IT'S MY RULE! MUHHAHAHAHA!"

"Dude," Rakisu shakes her head, "why do you want to be king anyways? It's a lot of work."

"I'll make my subjects work," I stick out my tongue.

"They'll revolt."

"Not if I threaten to unleash my magical unicorn army on them!"

"What about something more _realistic?_"

"Oh shut up! You can make stuff real!"

"I'm telling you, that's just illu-"

I skip out, de-dressing in the hall and jerking on the uniform. "Hold on, Sebastian-sama, I shall carry out the will of Heck!"

**Time Passing in Construction**

I tap my elbow crook as I stand next to the inflated, Emo ball-pit while wearing the maid uniform, the name-tag of 'Sebassy' (I couldn't think *shrug*) clipped on a thread wrapping around my neck and landing on my tit-lacking chest, just to try and get the victims (yes, policy is two, remember? [Argument sakes: first chapter-Zero and Mom, second-Hanabusa, Kaname, Akatsuki]). "Why, hello~" I hear Hanabusa whistle behind me.

I sigh and turn to the womanizer himself, along with Takuma and Senri. _Dang it…HE'S STILL FCKING EMO! _I push up my boobs a little under the cover of the tree-shade and step into the sun, it being day and all. "Why, hello," I click my tongue, looking up and down for weak points with Nancy and F.I.F.Y (Fify…hmm…). "Um…do you by any chance want to help me test this out? I have to make sure it's good and ready for my friend Ann before my master gets mad that I'm out…"

I tug on the back of my skirt-portion with both hands, trying to pull it down a little just to not feel so fcking exposed (what I do for these lunatics who love me~shows you that I need more candy~~~). Takuma laughs nervously. "Anything to help out a friend of Ann's…um…"

"I'll just stay here," Senri leans against a tree, sticking some Pocky in his mouth.

Takuma and Hanabusa get in the ball-pit, nervous looking. I edge to Senri. "You know, huh?" I whisper.

"It's not that hard to tell," Senri shrugs.

"Fck…" I saunter over to the edge of the pit, bending down to set my hands on the edge. "So…" I lean closer to them as they sit awkwardly. "Do you think Ann will like it?"

Hanabusa nods in a trance. "Yeah…hey…why don't you come in to?"

Jeez, wait until his big crush finds out he did this! HA! I shrug, the straps sliding a little. "I don't know…"

He takes my wrist. "Come on…"

"Hanabusa!" Takuma stands. "Um, please stay out of the pit! I mean, you don't HAVE to come in, r-right?"

Hanabusa and I raise a brow. While Hanabusa faces him, I take the shot. "What are you-OUCHIE MAMMA!"

Nail to the leg, okay. "Oops! That was for Ann!" I 'groan', taking out Nancy. "It must be mal-"

"OUCH! WHAT THE ^$&!&$!"

Taser to the nuts~ I grab F.I.F.Y and pat him. "Jeez, I'm so sorry!" I help him out. "I-"

"OWWWWWWWWWW!" he crumbles as F.I.F.Y shoots his nuts again.

The grass around him starts to moisten and I take a step back, grabbing the ball-pit. "Well…I'll just take this to Ann. Thank you~"

I run off, laughing all the way. "YOU LITTLE BTCH! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS SEBASSY!"

"Calm down Hanabusa!"

"FCK YOU TAKUMA!"

I giggle and race back to 666, only to find Rakisu gone and a letter on my bed. I place everything on my bed and take up the letter. I skim it. "Aw…maybe in another chapter of life," I shrug. "To be honest…" I wriggle, still in costume. "Inuyasha's HOT!" I droll. "But right now, I must repay for last chapter's moral!"

**Previous moral: Yuki is a friend, and she shall be treated well in my rule.**

**Current moral: I do not work well as a slut, otherwise my character is damaged for ten minutes after job. Thanks. Now I have to fry some of Rakisu's candles.**

**Review~**

**Remember, Ann is up for hire~But at least be reasonable. Don't make her kill anyone (injury to near death is fine~).**

**Also, two votes for Ann x Zero pairing. Remember to vote! Who shall be her boyfriend~**


	4. Chapter 4

_Four_

Someone shakes me as I sleep. I slap them silly, not bothering to open my eyes. Next, the jack as shoves me out of bed and sends me crashing onto the floor. I glare up and expect Rakisu, coming to kill me for shoving her candles in the microwave in Headmaster's house and waiting until they were just puddles of black wax, but no, it's Zero. "Oh what did I do today?" I snap, standing and make sure I didn't accidentally flash him.

He offers three notes and two packages. "These are for you."

I growl. "You woke me up for that? Jeez, when there's a _fire_, wake me up, got that?"

He glares. "You put _hot sauce _in my _underwear_. That classifies as a fire."

He walks out and I sit on the bed, accidentally sitting on an empty hot sauce bottle and rush into the hall, aiming for Zero's retreating figure and chucking it at the back of his head. "Yes!" I cheer as it hits.

"OW! ANN!"

"Muscle spasm~" I giggle, skipping back into the room like an idiot and shut the door in Zero's face, making sure the 'crack' of his nose is loud enough for Nancy and F.I.F.Y to here. I hum 'Funny Farm' or whatever they call that Neuroticfish song. Sitting in the bed, I slice open the first note by Yuki with my nail.

_Dear Majesty Ann,_

_Hello Majesty. In this package is some-_(some hot sauce drips from my hair and onto the spot, so I mentally curse myself)-_my mom made that causes cat appendages to appear on the consumer (ears and tail). Don't ask how, I don't know myself! Enjoy, destroy, and reign! (There's also some other stuff and a package for Rakisu)._

_Your Mentally Unstable Eternal Follower and Worshiper from-_(more hot sauce come down, so I grab Sabrina and lop of the hot sauce-covered strand),

_Yuki Hoshino_

I dig in her package to me, tossing Rakisu's on her own bed along with the note addressed to her (I'm sure Rakisu will rub it in my face later), and find three of the cat stuff (it looks…delicious…*barphs*), a Ciel Phantomhive plushie I sit next to my Sebastian and Grell plushies, twenty-four sticks of T.N.T with extra fuses and timers (I love this btch~), twenty pounds of candy (I only know because it says 'Twenty pounds of sugar, calories, and cholesterol problems-enjoy!' on a tiny post-it), some pictures that look like those girls take when they stalk the Night Class, a picture of some blonde with pink-brown eyes holding a thumbs-up (must be the crazy follower herself~), and spy equipment with an epic ninja uniform (I call it a uniform because Ninja-itsu is a skill that ninjas use to make a fictional living *meditating here*).

I stack them all up next to me and slice open the second note.

_Ann,_

_I have just got a new shipment of plasma rifles and I wanted to know if you wanted one. I am going to leave a black box with a big red cross on it under your bed so if you want any guns open the box and there will be plasma rifles, sniper rifles, and pistols._

_Oh yeah, and also I can trap Sebastian and bring him into the real world if you want to, but don't ask how I do it because if you find out…I WILL HAVE TO KILL YOU!_

_Good Day Ann,_

_ThePersonFromYourNightmares xx_

I blink. "So…a person called 'ThePersonFromYourNightmares' is going to come in during who-knows-what, put a mysterious box of firearms under my bed, and can mysteriously get Sebastian-sama for me, and if I figure out how, she'll have to kill me. To be honest, this sounds like a terrorist threat against the future Queen, seeing she's going to kill me if I find out from an anonymous tipster that she brought Sebastian-sama into this world by who-knows-what. Yep. Uh-Huh. I grab a letter and a pen.

_ThePersonFromYourNightmares,_

_I would love to have a personal arsenal in a tiny box that seems Rakisu will most obviously steal thinking it's one of her demon ritual trinkets or whatever (*shrug*)~But may I just say this…when I am Queen, and anyone gets a hold of your letter saying that you will have to kill me, I will personally give you Blart as a lawyer (trust me, he's great~) and bail you out if it fails, just because you're one of the best people I know (even though I got your letter mysteriously and don't know how you know where I am -_-). That, and I like people who send terrorist threats to me~_

_Your Future Vamppy Ruler~_

_Ann Siam~_

I skip out in uniform with my gift from Yuki and make my way to classes, smiling brightly when there's an available seat next to Zero. I skip over and sit down, patting his head. "Ze~ro~" I sing.

"Sht," he mutters.

"Aw, I know you like me~" I hug his neck.

He blushes. "W-w-wait what?"

I giggle. "Haha~ha~ha~HA!"

He glares slightly and turns his face away, shoving me off gently and holding the left side of his head in his left hand. I roll my eyes and take out the Yuki picture, holding that in my hand while searching for a stick of T.N.T to shove in his pants. It won't hurt, right? I feel him pluck the picture out of my hand and turn to see him blinking at it. "Why the heck do you have a picture of a girl?"

I snatch it. "It's a friend of mine, so," I stick out my tongue. "At least I _have _friends…" I grumble.

He rolls his iliac eyes and returns to his 'Emo position'. I take out one of my cat-transformers and smirk. "What are you smirking about?" he mutters.

"I have a plan to annoy Kaname~" I sing. "But I need a little help from my favorite Emo~" I cling to his upper arm.

He blinks. "Why me?"

"Because he hates you the most!"

He makes that (-_-) face and sighs, shutting his eyes and patting my head. "Oh whatever. What's the plan?"

I offer one of the containers of gunk. "Eat~"

"No way in hll."

"Come on!"

"No."

"It'll make you skip class~"

"NO."

"Please? I'll be your best friend~"

"I already _have _a best friend."

"I'll be your new one!"

"No."

"Did Ichiru shove a recorder up your as that says 'no' constantly? COME ON!"

"Fck you."

"You'd want to~"

"S-shut up!"

"Not until you say yes~"

"Oh fck it, yes, alright?" He grabs one of the containers and eats the contents. He gags and barfs on the floor next to him. Students stare and I hold up my hands.

"Blame Mrs. Hishino." As they try to figure out who the heck that is, I check on Zero. "Um…you gonna live? Because I can substitute with your dead body."

He slams a hand on the desk and glares at me from the corner of his eye as he turns. "I'm…not…dead…"

His nose twitches and cat ears sprout from his head, a little tail coming out from the bottom of his shirt. "Aw~Kitty~" I giggle, tugging his moonlight-tail.

He sighs and his ears twitch. "What the fck did this 'Mrs. Hishino' use to make _this_?"

"I don't think we want to know," I place some T.N.T on the desk. People duck under their desks and I glare. "Oh fck you pussies. Anyways~I'm going to pretend to be a cat ninja and hype myself on all of this candy," I place the candy on the table, "so I can easily blackmail the Night Class about having their pictures! My name will be…" I jump onto the desk. "SAMURAI PANTHY!"

I hear a cricket chirping as the class is silent. I sulk and look down, seeing…

…ZERO PEEPING UP MY SKIRT!

"EEP!" I kick his face back. "PERVY SANTA IN THE ROOM!"

He crashes in the floor as I push my skirt down, trying to hide the baby-Sebastian underwear (I will not tell you my sources). "Ugh…WHAT THE FCK!" he stands up, covering his nose. "THAT'S THE SECOND TIME YOU BROKE MY NOSE TODAY!"

He snaps it back. "Hey, I gave you the gift of kitty-ism, so STFU and follow me! Without peeking up my skirt…"

I stomp out while holding my arm out and high like a general in some weird thingy you read that is completely off the real thing. He sighs and follows me, hands in his pockets. I start stuffing my face with candy and jump a few times, one time kicking a wall spontaneously. I rush into the bathroom and pull on my ninja uniform, taking the gunk and barfing in the sink, not bothering to wash it since I'm in an important rush here. Brown cat ears rip out of the top of the costume and a tail pokes the inside of the clothing, so I cut a hole for it to slip out of. I skip back out and rush outside, Zero trying to keep up. I sneak spy equipment in the trees in the same area as the ball pit-slut thingy yesterday and push Zero up one. "Now, throw the T.N.T in the air when I give you a wink, okay?" I smile.

He sighs and shrugs, grabbing a T.N.T stick and a lighter, nodding. I skip around the area for a while before I hear voices around lunch, Zero almost about to snooze off. "It was here! That 'Sebassy' chick tazed me and also put a nail in me!"

I sulk. "Dmn it…"

Hanabusa, Kaname, and Takuma arrive, Shiki leaning against a tree and just nibbling on Pocky (I swear it's like he runs on Pocky -_-). Kaname notes me and raises a brow. "You are?" he asks, amused.

"Samurai Panthy!" I cheer. "I'm here to blackmail you!"

I hear Zero face-palm himself with the tree. "Oh really now?" Hanabusa crosses his arms. "Tell me, do you know a Sebassy?"

"Yes~" I rock on the soles of my feet. "I also know Ann Siam~" I hold up the pictures, one making Takuma flush red. Okay, okay, so it's him in nothing but underwear, that's what I got. "And Yuki, and ThePersonFromYourNightmares, and Blart~. So, how much do I get for handing these over and not posting them all over school?"

My tail twitches, so I grab it. I guess I shouldn't have eaten ten pounds of candy (^#^;) all at once. Kaname walks over and leans a little. "Oh really," he smirks.

Pervert alert. PERVERT FCKING ALERT! I gulp and tug my uniform around the neck region, sweat streaking down the side of my face. "Y-Yeah…Um…" I wink towards Zero and he chucks T.N.T into the air, it exploding. I'm so glad I chose an area that the school can't see, especially the explosion. They jump and stare, me smiling. "Like I said…how much?"

**Funny Farm**

"Thank you Zero~" I sing as we eat lunch in the Terrence.

"Whatever," he sighs, he ears twitching. "When are these going to go away?"

"Aw~But it looks cute on you~"

"Don't care."

I huff and pout. "You could at least _try _and be nice!"

He sighs and Rakisu comes over. She plops the box on the table, smiling. "Hey Ann, look at this~"

I blink and read the note first.

_Dear Rakisu,_

_I hope you enjoy what this package contains and aid Majesty Ann in her quests to reign supreme, when she accomplishes this, I want you to be in charge of the demon army I will send when she accomplishes this, please inform her._

_Your 'demon' friend, _

_Proserpine_

"Isn't that, like, the Princess of hll?" I blink.

"You know," Zero rolls his eyes, "this only proves there are more crack-pots out there."

I stick out my tongue and his tail twitches. I search the box to ten black candles, several recipes for extremely fatal poisons, a Satanist chant, the poison supplies, a shiny, black, old-fashioned pistol with a packet of skull bullets. Yep. Perfect Christmas present for Rakisu. "Isn't it so cool?" she cheers.

"Says the girl wearing a red-and-black striped long-sleeved shirt that goes to her mid-thighs, a black mini-vest with red-skull buttons, a black mid-thigh skirt and black combat boots with red lace," I mutter. "I mean why do you get to break dress-code?" I whine. "You're a Satanist, not a rule-breaker!"

I stomp out with both male and female vampire staring at me like I'm some sort of lunatic. I laugh. Can you believe it?

**Moral: Zero makes a cute Neko~**

**Remember, Ann is for hire, so you're free to send in requests (not saying I'm not going to make up my own at times). Also, it doesn't have to be in note form, but you're free to put it like that if you want it in the story.**

**Tiny Poll: Who do you like better?**

**Ann**

**Rakisu**


	5. Chapter 5

_Fove_

"WHO THE FCK DOES THE CHAPTER NUMBERS? HUH?" I scream into the phone. "Now it says 'fove', I mean COME ON!"

_"Honey, why are you calling me?"_ Mom sighs.

"Because my payer also doesn't give a fck and you're a vampire. My schedule calls for two vampires a day and nothing more~"

BEEEEP. She hung up on me! SHOULDN'T SHE BE SAYING 'It's alright Ann, I'll go kill him'? WHAT MOTHER DOESN'T? I sigh and set the phone back on the nightstand next to Nancy and F.I.F.Y. The door opens to Rakisu, carrying three packages and two notes. I look at the clock to it saying 12:00 A.M. "Hello," Rakisu plops two packages and a note on my bed, holding one and one for herself. "So, show and tell again."

I roll my eyes and poke my fangs, trying to get some weird, tingly sensation out of them. It's been happening since earlier today with that stupid cat gunk (note this Yuki: Side-effects-tingly feeling in teeth, constant urges for cat food). I open my note.

_Dear my Majesty,_

_I have enclosed my phone numberin the package in case you wish to contact me and I do hope you enjoy todays shipment!_

_Your Truly Mentally Unstable Follower and Worshiper,_

_Yuki Hoshino_

I open her package (which is HUGE may I say) to pull out a mini-fridge. "Yay~ Food!"

"Knowing your psychotic friend, I don't think it's food," Rakisu dampers my fun and stomps all over my dreams.

I pout and open it to eleven bottles of green gunk and eleven of purple gunk (why do I have a sudden urge to vomit?). I pick off a note tied to one of the green bottles.

_Note:_

_I DO know my mother used nuclear radiation this time, don't ask. It causes the person who consumes it to have their skin disintegrate *I did mention radiation, right? That's why* but there's an antidote that undoes it, it's the purple stuff, have fun! And reign._

I smirk and pull out a marker, putting 'Chapter Number Guy' on one green bottle alone. Of course, Rakisu snatches the marker and scribbles that on a purple vial as well. I pout as she, again, dampers my fun and stomps all over my dreams. I go back into the box to some black mail photos, a cage of mice, and a cage of rabid squirrels. "Aw~Cut-OW! WHAT THE FCK YOU *censor*!" I slam that dmn cage against the wall and suck on the bite a stupid squirrel made on my wrist. Eh, not like I'm gonna die, I'm a vampire! Bleh, bleh!...No laughs? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE! Huh, I guess it only works with Kaname (-_-). No offense, but I call him Mr. Bleh-Bleh. What? HE'S MEAN!

"You know you're mouthing to yourself and gesturing at NOTHING, right?" Rakisu AGAIN dampers my fun and stomps all over my dreams.

I blink and noticed I'm pointing my finger at a little white mouse. My mouth is open and a gnat flies in, so I run around the room spitting like crazy and saying 'ew' a million times (in counting) before I run through the door and out the window.

**Funny Farm**

"Are you sure she doesn't have to go to the infirmary?" Yuki asks.

"Pretty sure," Rakisu settles me onto the bed. "Besides, we have to get ready to be late to Night Classes, so…"

I blink some glass out of my eye and pick up the other package slowly, Yuki walking out and shutting the door behind her. This one is also fairly large and probably had a truck move it alone, but eh, it ALMOST reaches the ceiling from my lap. I place it back on the ground and get out a ladder from the closet, Rakisu refusing to ask. I put it against the box and climb up slowly, shards of bloodied glass painfully pushing out of my arms and legs as I make my way up. I shred the top of the box open and I accidentally topple in, landing on a bunch of Styrofoam popcorn. Rakisu hurries up the ladder and looks down. "Are you alright?" she whispers.

"Yeah," I mutter, taking out a cloak away from my butt. "I think someone stuffed a bad wardrobe in here though…MAYBE I NEED TO PUT ON THE MOST AWFUL PLAY EVER!" I stand, only resulting in my legs sinking in. "So soft and Styrofoam-y~" I smile like an idiot.

"Uh…should I get help?" she raises a brow.

"Nah~ Go to classes why don't you?"

"I still have to show you my package."

"It's probably not as good as-SEE? SEE, THEY EVEN GAVE ME CAMERAS! It must be the most awful movie~"

"Uh…I'm not quite sure that's it…"

"Oh STFU Dream Crusher!"

"Dream…What?"

I fish through (seriously, I pull a fishing rod out of my as and fish with it *bonks you on the head* WHAT DO YOU THINK?) to take out a nice, new laptop, which I make levitate with my powers (if you haven't gotten it for my twenty-seven chapters of stardom yet, I can levitate things). I also take out a pack of 'Shock Gum'.

_Note: Shocks the chewer to near death._

Immediate thought: Use on Night Class and Zero (so when he's unconscious, I can kiss him and say I was trying to wake him up the old fashion way XD). I also pull out police handcuffs (Immediate thought: Nothing but plain out rape of Zero *shrug*).

_Note: I altered them a bit; they get tighter the more they stuggle._

Perfectly designed for raping Zero (LET ME HAVE MY SICK AND TWISTED FANTASIES!). I put the cloak over my head and dig some more. "Dude, where'd you go?" Rakisu flashes a candle over the box.

I wave. "Down here stu-"

"Dude, I can only see your hand!"

I blink and note that the hand is not under the cloak. I stand again. "I AM HARRY POT-AH!" I sink.

"I think it's Pot-ter not Pot-ah."

"Oh shut up, it's how they say it in England!" I snap.

I also pull out a demon spell book, a flame thrower with three settings in which I ignore the first two and immediate turn it to 'Warning', lots of T.N.T, some iridescent black stone on black titanium cord that I have NO clue of what it does, so I put it over my head and water randomly squirts out of my hand. Elemental crp, huh? SWEET! Two last things are a picture of some thirteen-year-old (another person suffering from T.L.S-Tit Lacking Syndrome) with raven black hair, the bangs covering the left eye, bronze skin, eyes…I guess they change color because in the photo it looks like it's shifting from purple to black, black knee high boots with three inch heels, a short, black leather skirt, a back spaghetti strap shirt, a black, cropped leather jacket, a silver circlet (sort of like a crown), and a black choker with a stone (I guess it's demon by the spell book and the tiny note that says 'I AM THE QUEEN OF DEMONS AND WE OFFER OUT ALLIAGENCE'. Of course, it's just a guess. Not like there's any solid proof right in my hand, written in somewhat neater handwriting than mine.

"You done?" Rakisu asks.

"Yep, just don't-AHH!" I slide out when she tips it over. "…don't tip it over…"

She hands me her note and sets her package next to my head. I grunt as I sit up and read.

_Dear Rakisu,_

_Forgive me if this letter is consuming valuable time, but I profusely apologize in advance for any bothers this note is causing you and heartfully hope you bare with me for a moment_.

Anyone else think she's a kisser-butter of a maid?

_My Master told me to help 'Majesty Ann' in her quest, of course I do hope she will reign surpreme as anything my master wishes of me, I do since I am simply one perfect maid._

Sounds familiar…Maybe it was a dog food commercial?

_I would like to inform you that I am an actual demon and do personally know the devil, but I rarely speak to him as I am nothing more but a nuisance when I leave my master's side, and I will have you know my master is Yuki Hoshino._

_This package contents are not easily given, please put them to good use, my fellow worshiper of Satan._

_The Perfect Maid,_

_Proserpine_

The black package with a red six-pointed star on the front is opened by Rakisu, who takes out pure-black knives with intricate-design carvings of demons murdering humans. 'The Devil shall come at the chime of Dreath and shall show thy the true Darkness of Death'. I'm starting to consider forcing Rakisu into a church so she doesn't get any more Satanist inside of her system, but yet again it might already be too late, seeing when I visited her house one time, I found a decapitated sheep in her bedroom closet (*shrug*). There's a blood-colored locket on a silver chain. I open it to a bloody rose (not the vampire exterminator thankfully) and 'Thy who withholds this locket shall be spared when Hll shall seize the sky' on the other side. Rakisu snatches that and puts it on her person, obviously not caring whether I live or die when this 'Hll' seizes the sky. I strongly doubt it, seeing Angels are all bright and winged, so they blind their enemies and win, right?...At least that's what Richard told me (don't think I forgot poor Richard now). Then, lastly (finally), is a small capsule-thingy that has a tiny note.

You, follower shall be the bearer of death when reign is achieved, if you come to harm open this capsule and I shall protect you. Proserpine.'

"I think they mixed up the labels…" I laugh nervously, edging away with the capsule.

"Oh fork it over, Annie."

I bash her head with it. "IT'S ANN YOU FCKER!"

"OW! HEY! STOP IT!"

**Funny Farm**

Wow. Over one-thousand, six-hundred words for just getting the packages. Whop. I sit in the class room next to Richard, reading. Oh yeah, he's been avoiding me since summer when I accidentally deep-fried his girlfriend, Beet's, bra. What? IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M SO INFLICTED WITH T.L.S I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A BRA IS! Now he's softened up, so he loves me again, yay~ "Get off me," he snaps as I hug him.

"Is wig wrother will wad?" I pull out the puppy-dog eyes.

He holds up one of Rakisu's knives, seeing she's on his other side. "Get. Off. Now."

I pretend to claw like a cat and sit back up. I sigh and face the bored. It evaporates to dirt the next second. I look down at the necklace and look back up to EVERYONE glaring at me. "Oh what?" I snap. "Not my fault the Demon Queen gave me a necklace to…control elements apparently. So all of you just suck it and pay attention to the teach-"

The teacher explodes into flames and my face turns into one of this: (-o-;). I laugh nervously and pull out the cages. "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" I release both rabid squirrels and cute little mouses (shut up, it will be a word during my reign) and dash out, again running out of a window.

**Funny Farm (It's painful)**

I slide the last camera under Kaname's bed, slipping out of the room and wiping sweat from my forehead. If you're wondering what I'm using the T.N.T for, I strapped them to the cameras to at least scare Kaname. I pin the blackmail photos on his head-board and scribble 'Samurai Panthy is BACK, btch'. I use the necklace to force the air to blow the windows into multiple pieces and then rush out to find Zero leaning against a tree, eyes closed and hands behind head. I smirk and take out the handcuffs, skipping over and latching them over his ankles. "Huh?" he looks down, dropping his hands. I grab them and also latch them, his face red. I smile and wave, sticking a stick of T.N.T in his mouth.

"Scream, and you go bye-bye~" I wave, skipping off as his eyes widen.

I sneak my way to my dorm to set the Demon spell book on the nightstand, just for a fun read (eh, can't let everyone baby me through torture with my sugar-shortage). I slip out the remaining ten-pounds of candy out from under the bed and nibble on a Three Musketeers bar. I grab the green and purple vial and walk right back out.

**Funny Farm**

"OWW! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!"

"No more goof-ups?"

"NO MORE I SWEAR!"

I sigh and hand Blart (who else do you think does my numbering?) the antidote. He swigs it all down and sits up, panting and missing most of his skin. "Here, for the co-operation~" I sing as I hand him some of the shock gum.

He accepts it and starts jerking. I laugh madly and skip off. Well, what do you expect? Rip me off, you get the fangs btch *flashes fangs*.

**Moral: You should NEVER rip off this vampy~**

**Review~**

**New character next chappie (this one is a Kaname fan) (you know who you are~)**


	6. Chapter 6

_Six_

See? A perfect number~ It's the next day, and I'm finally going to Day classes~ Wow, took a while, huh? Last time it was up to chap-Off topic. I smack the demon spell book against my head. Off topic. Sorry. I sigh and stand, setting the book in my bag and shifting through the remaining stuff. I have nine purple and green bottles total (may I say those Night Class students were desperate to get at me), the book, the necklace, the photos, T.N.T, the number, five pounds of candy, a little shock gum left, the flamethrower set to Warning, the invisibility cloak, and my laptop. I've decided to use the book for boredom purposes of the mind, so that's out. Laptop is to help figure out a plan (I make my best plans typing or writing *shrug*), that and to watch Kaname talk to himself (-_- he calls _me _insane…), so that's out. The necklace is my emergency escape route, so that's…technically in. The photos of the NICE suppliers are on my headboard, so they…don't have much use except letting me know it's not some fat, sweaty guy addicted to pot and video games (just like online crp~). T.N.T is VERY useful, so I shove that in my 'diabolical plan' bag (it's pink with red sparkles that spell 'I'll kill you slowly and sweetly'). I got it over the summer from Rakisu (well, the kit it came from).

The number could be useful, so I stick that in. The candy was payment, so it's MINE!...And maybe Zero if he's nice. I carry that in my hand. Yes, right now my school bag is crossing my body from my right shoulder and my plan bag is crossing my body from the left shoulder, so it sort of looks like a harness. Where was I? Oh yeah, the supplies. SHOCK GUM! Get Hanabusa to eat it and dump him in a river~ Easy as snapping your fingers! I stick that in the plan bag and grab my flamethrower, attaching a strap to it and crossing it across my body from the left shoulder, Fedrick (the Flamethrower) on my back. I cover him up with the invisibility cloak securely.

Rakisu, of course, is a fcking Pureblood and can manage to stick everything in some black messenger's bag with a key-chain attached to the zipper of an upside-down red star. It has red splotches and pretty much every bad word invented all over it. That's how I learned *censor* and *censor*-fruit! –Silence- Okay, no, she's not a good role-model, but neither am I so shut the fck up and listen or keep rambling at the computer screen like a nut-job. She puts on a 'Observer' label for Day Class, seeing she 'needs to watch me'. Yeah right. She just wants to watch me rape Zero! Again, please refrain from commenting because I know some of you feel the exact same. I also know some feel that way about Kaname, that's fine to, as long as you're not personally giving me the details of where you're going to stick what. I skip out and I run into Yuki. Rakisu walks up to see me clinging to her leg, avoiding looking up at all costs, and her dragging her leg and Sayori pulling on her arm to at least make the journey faster.

"You're fat," I state.

"How does…oh never mind," Yuki sighs.

Once we reach the classroom, it's SUPER-DUPER early, so I scratch up a short list of today's schedule.

_To-Do List_

_One-Stalk Zero to see if he's nice; if so, he gets candy_

_Two-Sneak into the boys' bathroom and set a sink on fire_

I am sadly turning into a pervert. Oh great, I get hormones but no tits? WHAT KIND OF FCKNIG MESSED UP DEAL IS THAT?

_Three-Trick Hanabusa into eating Shock gum_

_Four-Call Yuki_

_Five-Check on Kaname-cams_

The door opens to Zero and he climbs into the seat next to me, tired looking. He turns slightly to me staring at him. "What?" he mumbles.

I poke his cheek, in which his eyes narrow. "Hmm…nicer than usual…"

"And?"

I shrug and place the candy in front of me, taking three and a half pounds out and shoving it into my scheme bag. The rest I work on eating. Sadly, Rakisu is in the chair in front of me, so she easily takes some. I usually smack her with Fredrick, but Yuki and Zero get uncomfortable with him around and try and confiscate him. That's when it gets really ugly and it ends up with students entering to me holding one of Rakisu's black, Satanist knives above Zero's face, his hands man-handling my wrist. "SOMEONE GET THIS PSYCHO OFF!" Rakisu grunts as she tries to pry me off.

**Funny Farm**

"Look, Ann, I know you have a special sense of…humor…but really? I'm sorry, but I'm going have to confiscate both 'Fredrick' and the knives," the Headmaster sighs.

"But those are mine!" Rakisu pouts.

"Well, she got a hold of them," he shrugs. "Any other deadly weapons you have on your person?" I dump the T.N.T on his desk, scowling. "So THAT'S why he had T.N.T in his mouth…"

I'm gathering he's talking about Zero, seeing he's the only student I know of who currently had a stick of T.N.T in his mouth (-_-). "Yeah, so can you stop confiscating my babies and let me weep in the peace and integrity of Dorm 666?" I whine.

"Anything else?" he sighs.

Rakisu puts F.I.F.Y and Nancy on the table (AND MARVIN!). "NO! MY BABIES! PLEASE! THEY'RE NOT CANNIBALS YET!" I scream, trying to break out of Rakisu's grasp as she holds me back.

Headmaster takes all of them away ='(. "I'm sorry, but until you learn _not _to kill a student, I'm confiscating these."

**(This is no longer a) Funny Farm**

I am reduced to nothing but three tasks for the day (meanie Headmaster =(). HOW COULD HE TAKE AWAY MY BABIES! I sigh and lean against a tree, clutching the shock gum and closing my eyes against the irritating warmth of the sun. _This sucks balls. It truly does. _I hear bushes rustle and blink, turning to none other than Hanabusa. "Hello," he waves, smiling. "So, Headmaster took away your weapons, huh?"

I scowl and hand him the gum. "Yeah, yeah, just get rid of these, will ya?"

"Sure~" he beams, eating a piece. I walk away as he jerks around, nearly dying.

So, back in the dorm, I check on the cameras. All are destroyed but one, and that is stuck on an image of Kaname's butt. Either he was really immature or that's when he found out there was a secret camera in his toilet. Well, it's not like it's _perverted _or anything, I just dropped it in and never bothered to retrieve it (this is what happens when you try to shove it in a picture frame above an open toilet). I sigh and look up 'Methods of Suicide' out of sheer fatigue to actually find a bunch of suicide videos, cases, and some guy actually posted a whole list called 'how to kill one self'. This is the sad world, the one where weapon-haters control and say 'oh, it's a good thing'! Well, frankly, it's not, because no matter what, LAW BREAKERS will use weapons, like those who commit suicide, since it's against the law (I'm not completely dumb). So what's the point of banning weapons when LAW BREAKERS will use them no matter what? IT'S UNSANITARY!...Actually, I think I'm running a sugar low. Never mind. Just keep reading and I DARE you to keep shaking your head in disappointment at me! I CAN SEE ALL! Nah, not really, but I can levitate your computer and do something with it and a window~

**Funny Farm**

"So you want to join the Disciplinary Committee?" Headmaster raises a brow.

"Only so I can get my babies back faster," I cross my arms.

"Well…"

"Oh pretty please? I'll be your best-actually even _that's _not worth it…"

He sulks in the corner. "That's mean…"

I laugh nervously and I swear I'm suggesting those methods against _him_. Yay~ I'm turning into a perverted killer~ Wait…Eh, I guess I am. But still, HORMONES AND NO TITS? I got screwed at birth, you know that? "So, can I join or what?"

He nods and I walk out, slumping and wearing a stupid band around my arm. "Can this get any-"

_Click! _I raise a brow and look up in a tree to the Demon Queen! I look at where's she's facing and see the Night Class already out. "Oh, hello!" she waves. "You're Ann!"

I nod. "Yeah…And you're the Demon Queen. Any other 'duh' statements you'd like to make?"

She nods, much to my amusement. "Kaname is so cute~Actually, more than!"

I raise a brow. "You mean Mr. Bleh-Bleh?" She nods. "You can have him! I-" I sulk. "I JUST WANT MY LITTLE MASSACRES BACK!"

She raises a brow as I mope and drag my feet over to the stupid, non-weapon area. "So, I'm new," she calls. "Hey, if you can, can you get me some pictures of Kaname?"

I hand her a printed photo of his butt. "I got this from the last surviving camera you gave me," I state.

She squeals and hugs it (a psycho, a Satanist, an emo, a gay Headmaster, a Mr. Bleh-Bleh, a Mr. I'm-Desperate-Hump-Me, a Ms. I'm-Desperate-Hump-Me, a stalker, an emo, an emo-WHAT A STUDENT SELECTION!). I trudge over to the area and Yuki raises a brow at me. I grab my plan bag and smack a girl on the head. "STAY BACK YOU FCKING PIRANNAHS!" I shriek. "NONE SHALL TOUCH THE NIGHT CLASS! Except my queen of Demons, she gets to rape Kaname if she wants~"

"YES! AH!" she crashes onto the ground, her camera shattered. "Ah fck."

"OUT OF THE WAY DISCIPLINARY COMMITTEE!" the girls shove at me.

I grunt and almost fall on my butt, but someone catches me. "Cut it out," I hear Zero growl. "Now, if you don't quite down, changes WILL be made, UNDERSTAND?"

I blink and sigh, Zero helping me onto my feet. "Thanks," I mutter. I glow a bit and offer some candy. "Good Zero~ Open up~"

He blushes slightly and does so. I stick in some chocolate pieces in mouth and smile, looking past him to see Hanabusa and Kain giving him dirty looks. What's their problem? GET YOUR OWN CANDY DCKS! Uh…I'm talking to them with telepathy that is currently not working. The Demon Queen comes over and pats my head. "Well, guess what~ I'm in the Night Classes, so come over to the dorms some time, alright?"

I sigh and nod, her walking over to Kaname. I look up at the sky and once it's over, sit up on a branch and take out my phone. I dial the number.

"_Hello?"_

"Yeah, um, is this Yuki Hoshino?"

"_It's her phone, but she's sort-of passed out. I'm Nick, may I take a message?"_

"Just tell her her fcking Queen called and demands to speak to her. Also, change your name to 'Barney', it sounds more like you."

I hang up and jump down, stomping to classes. Once there, I sit next to the Demon Queen and Richard, Rakisu on her other side. The substitute goes through the ground and people immediately stare at my glowing stone. I flip the bird and stomp to the front of the class and scribble 'MISS SIAM' on the bored and start rambling on about Black Butler Manga. To tell all, EVERYONE listens more than the actual lessons the usual teachers blab about.

**Moral: Black Butler is far more interesting than school.**

**Second Moral: When someone should have 'Barney' as a name, they must be fat and mutated~**

**Review~**


	7. Chapter 7

_Seven_

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA~~~~ I hug my babies (getting shocked in the process) and Rakisu stares at the elephant-of-a-package I got from Kurosei (I learned that from her in yesterday's classes~). Kurosei stole my non-cannibalistic babies back from the Headmaster and now I am so happy, I am going to share my candy stash with Zero~ And Richard~ And Beet~ And Kurosei~ And Yuki~ And Rakisu~ That and Yuki H., and ThePersonFromYourNightmares, I sent both some~, and Naomi, sent her some too~ Everyone else can suck it (especially 'Nick' or 'Barney') unless if they decide to help me in my reign! Rakisu smiles and pats my head as hearts fly around my head laughing maniacally while stabbing decapitated vamp-plush toys. "Okay, what about a package from Yuki and _then _we swim in Kurosei's box?" she laughs.

I beam and grab the note, eyes literally stars, like the ones on the top of a Christmas Tree.

_Dear Majesty Ann,_

_Please forgive me for passing out before, I've been kept up for days. Please accept today's packages as compensation, call me!_

_Your Forever Sorry and Mentally Unstable Follower and Worshiper,_

_Yuki Hoshino_

I open her package (I'm actually considering to call this 'Ann's Christmas and what happened to everything') to some back up tasers. I count four, so I name them after the obvious thing: Finnian, Baldroy, Mey-Rin, and Tanaka (when my babies were gone, I ordered 'Sebastian the Scythe' and 'Ciel the Cleaver'~). Then I take a whole bunch of soda, candy, and food and try to stuff it all in the fridge, ending up having to make Rakisu enlarge it to fit it all. I then scribble a little note and hand it to Rakisu. "Mail, now," I state.

She sighs and skims it.

_Trusty Follower Yuki Hoshino,_

_I shall call, probably before this is sent (stupid Satanist cousin…). One, I offer you a position in my royal court once I rule, so feel free to choose where you will stand. Two, beware of midgets taking your pants. Three, please tell me that Barney who answered your phone is NOT related to you OR dating you. If he is, kill a pigeon immediately and send me it's head. I believe that will atone for his existence. Four, may you please spread the word of my reign so nobody can overthrow me? I have a guess that you have some crazy friends *shrug*._

_Your Future Queen and Grateful Supplyee (if such is a word),_

_Ann 'Demon Gone Out Of Hand' Siam~_

She shakes her head and walks out. I laugh and take up another note, written by ThePersonFromYourNightmares. Hmm…Maybe 'The Result of Ann Getting Fanmail'? Eh, who knows.

_Ann,_

_Don't worry Ann I won't kill you when you are the Queen, but when do you want me to deliver Sebastian? He is currently in my wardrobe. Also I have sent a water gun that has a never ending supply of blood inside (I have my ways!). Have fun with that! Plus I have now become your firearms supplier form now on and your second mentally unstable worshiper. If you run out of anything related to guns or weapons of any form just ask and check the black box (If you got rid of that I will put a new one there for you). Finally I wanted to say just this once I have decided to send over a bottle of my latest potion (Yes I use black magic to do this stuff) and it will turn boys into girls and girls into boys. It will wear off after about a week, but there is enough for 5 doses so use it carefully._

_Any potions, anime characters or firearms you need just ask!_

_ThePersonFromYourNightmares xx_

_All hail her majesty Ann!_

I wipe the tears of joy from my eyes and scribble another note, running to the door and opening it to a Rakisu who was about to open it herself and shove my note to ThePersonFromYourNightmares.

_ThePersonFromYourNightmares,_

_Yay~ I don't die! Can you please send Sebastian somewhere around three in the morning? Mr. Bleh-Bleh said that's when the classes were going to end and I at least want a sexy demon butler for tomorrow. Just send me a letter when you need him back, K? Thanks for the drink dispenser and I'm glad I have my own firearms supplier and another worshiper! I've only had a geek and target practices before~ That and a certain worshiper, but still. I did not get rid of the box, I just didn't look for it [sorry, but I was mourning over my babies =(]. Keep up the black magic! I will gladly use the five doses of gender-change (not promising it will be wisely though XD)._

_Your Future Queen and Grateful Customer, _

_Ann 'Demon Gone Out Of Hand' Siam_

She sighs and walks back down the hall, muttering something about 'death' and 'Satan's choices' being well placed. I skip back in and open Kurosei's package and leap in, swimming in the Styrofoam popcorn. I hit something and turn slightly to so foldable chair labeled 'electric chair'. I screw the mode labels and just twist the knob all the way (I guess I'm predictable *mope*). I also dig for a…$666666666666 gift card to any candy store…I explode with happiness.

**Funny Farm**

Okay, to those jerks who think I meant it figuratively, NO CANDY FOR YOU! Of course nobody on the list would think that, right? (Nod at screen now or I'm coming over with my Sebastian-cow plushie)! So yeah, my happiness apparently triggered a fcking T.N.T fuse and burnt Dorm 666 so the walls are the black, the candles have ash all over them, and the star is hardened. Eh, at least everything survive (except my dignity and pants). I'm serious, WHAT FORM OF T.N.T ONLY DESTROYS PANTS? I'm just glad the raining Styrofoam popcorn is working on filling the box back up, seeing I don't think Rakisu would appreciate coming in to me in my long-sleeved, white school shirt and Sebastian underwear (E-Bay, it's Heaven for the obsessed). I sigh and resume my sifting through as Styrofoam falls on my head, forcing me to rake it out. I get a noose, another book about poisons, a whip pen (do I have to explain how I found out? *you nod* *I sigh* Okay…).

So Zero came in five seconds ago when I had it and I flicked it, the whip…hitting his man-parts. So, that's how I stand with Zero rolled up while covering the area I actually feel sorry for. Trust me, I think someone slipped me slut-crack in my sleep. I find throwing stars, and when Zero decides to get up, shove them under my bed, finding the black box. _Keep that in mind when the midgets come back…_"Balls feeling better?" I ask him.

He sighs and we climb into the box, him landing on some Military pocket knife. "OWWW!" he shrieks. "Who the heck gave you all _this _sht?"

"My payers," I shrug. "I'm getting more. Ooh~" I dig out my candy. "Want some?"

He blinks and sighs. "Ann, your extremely odd."

"I know, but that's the price of getting horny!"

"What?"

"Oh nothing." I shift through to find an orthodontist kit, three bottles of different kinds of snake venom, which I drink for a brief second of thinking it would give me super powers. Well, turns out it gives you serious diarrhea in a matter of seconds. I end up having to go to the bathroom after I find one thing, Zero just leaning against the door and staring at the ceiling in sexy boredom. On my third time, I run into Kaname and work on shoving more shock gum down his throat, my little hawk observing from my head and the glasses in my shirt pocket (in underwear people). I pant as I run back and lean against Zero. "I…Hate…EXCERSISE!"

"Why exactly?" he mutters.

"It's evil you brainwashed hooker." I struggle climbing back into the box, my diarrhea holding FOR NOW. I find a jar of snakes and a book that says 'Zero Kiryu'. I open it to a bookmarked page.

_Entry: Thirteenth Birthday._

_Today, Headmaster found a snake on campus. Well, Kuran got a hold of it and managed to sneak it in my pants (how, I'd rather not find out). I was screaming all through dinner, nobody (except the vamp as) got what the fck my deal was, so I ended up fleeing to the Bathroom and beating the thing against the sink, flushing it down the toilet. I walked back in and told them what Kuran did (Yuki the only one not believing a word I said) and said it was biting me constantly, but thank GOD it wasn't poisonous. In truth, it never bit me, not once, even when I sat on it. _

_**I'm truthfully FCKING TERRIFIED of snakes.**_

I shove it into my bra. "For latter, not like anyone's going in THERE. Nothing to fcking see but dmn mosquito bites…" I get more cameras, in which I'll stick in Zero's room now (why is my focus Zero today? I NEED ANOTHER PARASITE! What? I know I'm one, in more ways though~). I also find a thick, cream-colored file filled with bucket-loads of dirt on the Headmaster (yay~BLACKMAIL!). I also find T.N.T and stink bombs. I give those to Rakisu disguised as my orthodontist kit (and Kurosei thought I was going to be naughty with it~). "Take that to Momma and Allie~ She's been complaining about his teeth."

She glares. "I'm not an owl."

"What? I don't speak 'hoot'. Now fly little birdie!" I shove her out of the window with my advertisement and skip back in, my underwear shifting to the side to reveal half of my left butt-cheek. I have to wear a black dress that goes to my knees. I blink at some weird sensation in my spine and shrug, taking out a mask and a book labeled 'suppliers and followers'. I _also_ stick that in my bra and push the double-A cup up a bit so it would look somewhat like actual boobs. Well, I _think _they're supposed to be round, but people can have rectangular ones, right? If not, I'm suing the crp out of .

**Funny Farm**

So, I quit the Disciplinary Committee due to my return of the babies~. In class, I try to figure out how to waste everything so I can get some things crossed out. As the teacher talks about another trip, just to somewhere other than the mountains where people can easily get lost and Kindergarteners easily kidnapped to be sold for a nickel (I'm serious, my dad is still working out the sue that btches parents apparently filed the day school ended). My books are in my bag (Kaname told me 'book boobs' were naïve and that I needed to at least 'grow some patience' [with that, I stuffed all the shock gum down his throat and said 'MY PATIENCE IS BOOBS, AND AS YOU CAN SEE, IT'S FLAT AS HLL!']). I of course dragged him to Kurosei, in which now she sits next to him with hearts flying around her head constantly.

Yes, I stuck the cameras in Zero's room, so that's out. The shock gum is in Kaname's digestive tracks. The kit and the T.N.T (plus stink bombs) are probably going off at home now. The snakes and Zero's diary will wait till tomorrow. The dirt on the headmaster is for baby-snatching only (that or end-of-year speeches *clear throat* 'Age five: ran into his father's pee-pee and ended up learning what a 'boner' was at early age'). Before you get it all wrong and assume his dad was gay and a pedophile, Headmaster's mom was just…'hugging'…him extremely, so yeah…It took a while to get him to calm down. Headmaster was scarred for life, in which I laugh at mentally (it'd be weird to laugh now while their talking about the wonderful history of the trip location).

"A man was hanged for murder at the sight of the 'Widow's Tree'."

Okay, now I know what the noose is going to be used for. Ruka raises her hand. "Excuse me, but what's with this trip?"

"For the Night Class and guardians," the teacher sighs. "It's only a week. It will start next week, so…"

As he continues, I sneak down next to Ruka, Richard raising his brow away from the heart with 'Beet' and 'Richard' in it. "Hey Ms. Desperate~" I pat her back. She glares. "Want this?"

I hand her some of the gender-change crp. "What the heck is this?" she whispers.

"Oh, it's some experimental formula for another form of fake-blood. Closer to actual blood I think."

She sighs and takes a swing. I grin maniacally and she blinks. "Uh…What?" she blinks.

Something glitters and her boobs disappear. Her features turn more masculine and she stares at her skirt in horror. I laugh aloud and everyone stares. Hanabusa laughs at Ruka. "HA! SERVES YOU RIGHT!"

Kaname shakes his head and narrows his eyes towards me. "Really?"

"What?" I blink innocently. "You think it's THAT bad? Why would I do such a thing without a solution?" I unfold the electric chair. "Sit in this and it'll go away."

The teacher watches as Kurosei beams. Ruka sighs and sits in it. I strap her in and kick it on, her jerking around in it like a…an advertising thing that blows up and moves in all sort of directions? Eh, I forgot what it was called. I push the chair down and the skirt goes up, her (or his~) underwear showing. I take out the knife and throwing stars. I don't think I should say what happens next.

**Funny Farm**

So here I am, after class, and it's two in the morning. The teacher left and all of the Night Class are in front of the chair I was strapped in by Richard. Blood decorates my new dress. Okay, so I de-balled Ruka. Is that _such _a crime? I mean she should be thanking me for taking the pee-pee off for Christ's sake! So yes, that leaves me with this:

Supplies For Ann (torture department)

Plasma rifles I forgot to use

Hawk and Glasses

Zero snake-phobia

Noose

Four Gender-changes

Mask

Whip Pen

Everything else is either used or not for torture. Like the dirt on Headmaster, that's in the EMERGENCY department. And in the USED department is everything I de-balled Ruka with because I'm not re-using something that touched male-meat. That's gross dude. "Ann, say you're sorry to Ruka," Kaname demands.

"Nah, I'd rather fck Hanabusa first," I spit in displeasure.

"Then you will do that if you don't apologize," Kaname crosses his arms.

"Okay, okay, HOLD UP!" Richard steps next to me. "Technically, Ruka should be _thanking _Ann for removing a MALE part! SHE'S A GIRL YOU KNOW!"

See? This is why he's an awesome brother who can be a dck~Kurosei just snaps pictures of Kaname while he's distracted and goes through his stuff. Rakisu flips through a book called _Beautiful Creatures. _I scroll through my mind and smirk. I levitate my chair and whistle to my hawk. He flies onto my head and I smirk at Hanabusa. "Now, you wouldn't want me to use Hawkie here, right?"

He gulps and I make the rope fly off, standing on the floating chair and grabbing a gender-change. I launch at Hanabusa and force the change down his throat. When the students manage to pry me off, Hanabusa already has boobs and feminine features. I glare. "WHY DOES HE GET MELONS, GOD? HE SHOULD BE FLAT CHESTED LIKE ME FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

When a student snickers, I force a change down their throat. Then a second…and I use the last one up on Kain, just to be fair to Hanabusa. So, in short, I have another chapter of life to complete in a week while eating and trying to figure out why my spine keeps tingling. That, and studying Zero's diary.

**Moral: Ruka likes having balls.**

**Review~**


	8. Chapter 8 Warning: LONG

**Sebastian is from **_**Black Butler**_**. He's the sexy butler dressed in black~**

**May I say the amount of reviews this story has gotten for just seven chapters is impressive to me. That is why I make sure to write this under the influence of Dr. Pepper and ice cream~**

_Eight_

Hehe…it's a bad time for you people to start stalking me through the computer. Y-You see…hehe…apparently it is not recommended you send me people. A few minutes ago, when Rakisu and I aren't or weren't standing in front of Yuki's dorm, I was sleeping while Rakisu was trying to get Kaname off my as about the whole de-balling Ruka. I heard something tap the floor under my bed and went to investigate and…

…let's say next time, don't stick the sexy demon butler UNDER MY BED. It gives people the wrong idea.

"MOLESTER!" I screamed before tasering him, running out in nothing but baby-cow PJ's and…

…is he going to die or what? TELL ME WHAT TO DO STALKERS!

**Funny Farm**

So that's why Rakisu, Kaname, and I are in front of Yuki's dorm. "Can we stay here tonight?" Rakisu sighs. "There's apparently a 'sexy molester' under Ann's bed."

Yuki blinks at my horrified expression and nods. "Okay."

So I go in as Yuki, Rakisu, and Kaname discuss the same, horse-dead issue that really should be dropped. Sayori waves to me and points to the area between Yuki and Sayori's bed, revealing packages, cages, and notes for me. "Headmaster told us to give them to you in the morning," she shrugs.

"Wanna help?" I sit in front of them, taking the notes.

She sighs and sits next to me, holding the cage with a white owl with black-speckled wings. First is Yuki's note~

_'Dear Majesty Ann,_

_OMG OF COURSE I WANT TO BE ON YOUR ROYAL COUNSEL I WILL BE YOUR SERVANT AND WORSHIPER TILL DEATH, And um, why don't you like my boyfriend? I'm just wondering, cause If he told me correctly while he was being a pervert, he didn't do anything but tell you I couldn't talk, sorry if I'm being Intrusive, your Majjesty, and I shall faithfully spread the word of your reign, and your right I do have some weird friends...heh._

_Your Eternally Faithful Immortal Follower, Servant, and Worshiper,_

_Yuki Hoshino._

In a small package is a pigeon head. As Sayori screams, I shake my head with somewhat woe. _Poor soul.._I take out a note of the thing she wants me to do from a bigger package.

_Please make Hanabusa a cat and throw him in a fountain (Note: If you drink the stuff you do become a cat, reflex, hates, and likewise) Also throw him in a cage (Bonus: While it's raining) (get a dog as company bonus in the next package if you do). _

If find five more cat-transformers, which I dare not take seeing Sebastian is under my bed unconscious. _Note: Side effects noted and fixed, only side effect now is the hatred of water for seven hours. _Eh, bearable. I also take out plush-toys of all the Night Class, in which I put a tag on Kaname's saying 'For Kurosei' and the Ruka one, along with a knife from Kurosei. The throwing stars I stick half in Hanabusa's 'area' (even though it IS a toy…) and stuff him in the owl cage as well, the owl being extremely smart and returning the throwing stars. I drag a carrier over to me and open it to a furry black kitten, food and other necessities involving the stomach in a box. She has pretty red eyes and black claws, a nice spiky collar, and a nice-She scratches Sayori when she tries to pet her-mean gene that apparently does not involve me as a target. I let her curl up in my lap and pat her furry head. I also have extra uniforms, which I have a feeling I'm going to loose quickly.

The next note is from ThePersonFromYourNightmares, who is to thank for Sebastian and I'll guess she's rather unhappy for me tasering him.

_Ann,_

_I have yet another potion for you! It will make someone a magnet so if they walk past metal it will stick to them. Thank you for the candy by the way! I will deliver Sebastian tonight and you can keep him for a week. Also you can call me Mika (Not my real name for internet safety purposes) for short._

_Any potions, anime characters or firearms you need just ask!_

_Mika (aka ThePersonFromYourNightmares) xx_

_All hail her majesty Ann!_

Okay, so the small vial is taped to the note, Sebastian is under my bed unconscious (hehe, sorry Mika…). NEXT NOTE~ Wow this is less words than usual…

_ANN,_

_IF YOU NEED ANY KIND OF NATURAL POSINS OR CRAP LIKE THAT I AM YA GIRL! ALSO IF YOU COUNT ON DOING ANYTHING TO RUKA COUNT ME IN LIKE SEROUSLY...HE IS MINE. M-I-N-E! AND WHEN YOU USE THE CAT EARS TELL ME I WANT PICTURES! I REPLACED MY CAMERA THAT BROKE WITH A CAMERA THAT TAKES 20 PICTURES PER SECOND! IF YOU HOLD DOWN THE CLICKY BUTTON THING THAT IS! COOL HUH! AND ALTHOUGH I FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT TELLING YOU THIS...KANAME IS AFRAID OF, GET THIS, BUTTERFLIES! LIKE SEROUSLY! I MANAGED TO FIGURE THIS OUT WHEN ONE LANDED ON HIM AND HE STARTED FREAKING OUT._

_I THINK I WILL INCLUDE THAT VIDEO TOO *PUTS IN PACKAGE*!_

_YOUR TOTALLY AWESOME MIMION AND THE QUEEN OF DEMONS,_

_- KUROSEI._

I honestly don't think she actually feels really bad, because then she wouldn't have told me. It's okay Kurosei, you're the Demon Queen, it's your job to tell the future queen of this _doomed _school the fears of it's most hateful students~ Well, Kaname isn't really _hateful _as much as a **dck **in my opinion (you people stick to your opinions and I'll stick to mine). As my new kitty purrs, Kaname leaves and I smirk. "Hey look, a butterfly!"

He tenses (dmn it) and looks around. "I don't see one…"

"Me either," Yuki blinks.

Rakisu sits next to Sayori and bows her head politely before handing me the owl cage, which I open for it to perch on my pretty head. Sayori hands me a pack of shock gum (which I'm sorry for stuffing down Kaname's throat, that was actually uncalled for and I apologize). I take out some fake cat ears, which my kitty glares at (what's a good name for her…). One is silver and one is brown, like Kaname's, so I immediately get the point. I already know about the throwing stars, the knife with the Ruka doll I plan to give to Kurosei (what, I want to let her fulfill whatever mini-torture she has for a mini-Ruka). Needle nose pliers make me smirk with a dark thought (yes, of taking out Aido's teeth *gives award candy to Kurosei*). A dragon egg, which Rakisu confiscates (well, you have to admit, it's for the safety of my future castle -_- still, she must have a more agreeable reason, seeing she's my favorite cousin~). The owl, who I give the plushies and he flies out (yeah, it's obvious it's a he). I huggle (thank you, Yuki, for teaching me that word~) the five Sebastian plushies (eh, it's satisfying).

Sayori hands me snake venom, which I immediately label 'Takuma' and dig out an antidote from my pocket (my mom sent that). I also find bug spray, which I don't really plan to use on actually insects per say… I also get out some ointment, which I actually scowl at, before reading that it heals any wound in a matter a seconds (yay~ She knew I was going to get beat up by Zero~). I also find Vampire plushies, which I make them levitate and I hack off their heads as Yuki and Sayori stare in terror. Rakisu just hands me throwing star by throwing star with a smile. Sayori sighs and hands me a sledge hammer.

"What is with these people?" she mutters.

"They're nice," I pout, petting the Sledge Hammer. Sally! That's her name! Sally 'Brain Crusher' the Sledge Hammer (I actually enjoy the name a lot~). I also find a super enlarged male uniform, labeled 'Sebastian' on a sticker (hehe…). Two videos, one labeled 'Kaname tantrum' and 'Kaname phobia of butterflies'. I also find manga, which says 'Vampire Knight'. I blink and scroll through without the other two (Rakisu always figures out this sht anyways, so I let her see) and find out a whole bunch of nasty dirt on everyone~ I stuff that in an empty box and shut it, setting my little kitty on the top so nobody bothers to look. I also find…something labeled 'personality switcher'. I sigh and immediately know she's thinking of me swapping Kaname and Takuma's (Ichijo) personalities (it's not hard to figure out, that and it's in capital letters on a note).

Wow. One thousand, four-hundred, seventy-six words just for all of THAT. And you can see why I had to shove that shock gum down Kaname's throat. Time passes and about six o'clock, Rakisu and I return to see Sebastian absent-mindedly dusting the floor, everything in ship-shape and everything even more devilish-looking. "Oh, there you are," he smiles in my direction. "I apologize for my appearance to you under the bed. I was sent there and I can assure you that I am not a 'molester'."

I drool, which Rakisu pats my head. Thought? _I don't care if you are or not, Sebastian-sama, you are free to molest me. _You have to admit, I'm pretty disappointing.

**Friday**

Yeah, yesterday was Thursday. I sadly have until the upcoming Thursday to have Sebastian, so I choose to at least have him stay in my dorm until I can figure something out. My kitty (names to be suggested) stretches and I can clearly see Sebastian resists to go and glomp her right now. I swallow down some Orange-Gatorade from Yuki and jot down the notes, my owl on my head.

_Yuki,_

_I am severely sugar-hyped (seeing I force-fed myself ten cans of soda and two tubs of ice-cream, and Gatorade) so I'll make this quick before I decide to randomly glomp Mr. Bleh-Smeh. I am glad you want to be on my future council when I'm queen. Your boyfriend sounds like a complete imbecile and probably has a small wang (please don't check and tell me if I be's correct). Thanks for the pigeon head, which the kitty ate. I'm glad you will spread the word. If it's not much to ask, I'd like to visit these weird friends and stuff shock gum in their mouths (sorry, but when I have sugar, I need blood to wash it down)._

_Your Future Queen and Sugar Hyped Pal,_

_Ann 'Demon Gone Out Of Hand' Siam _

_P.S- No offence about the boyfriend, but since I don't know him, I shall jump to conclusions to prevent myself from breaking into his house in order to satisfy my curiosity._

Next:

_Mika, _

_Thanks for Sebastian, but may I say I tasered him for mistaking him to be a molester. Sorry. It was night-time and he was under my bed. Your welcome for the candy. Thanks for the potion. Thanks for everything that you've given me. You probably will see my face in the news because I might kill someone out of my sugar-hype/rush/crack-dose._

_I hope you forgive my tasering of the sexy butler,_

_Ann 'Demon Got Out Of Hand' Siam_

_P.S-Don't be surprised if there's a dead mouse in your mail box, seeing that my owl from Kurosei, the Demon Queen, apparently doesn't bother to eat the mice and stuffs them into peoples mail-boxes (I looked in past records of his)._

_Kurosei,_

_This is pointless, but it delays murder. I'll put on the cat ears and inform you. Great work on the camera. What was that tingly feeling I got from the dress? Yeah, yeah we all know Kaname is yours, Ruka is just desperate, remember. You can't feel bad if you tell me his phobia. Sorry, but that's the sugary truth. Anyone else seeing unicorns? _

_I should go before I write more hallucinations from Sugar-over-dose,_

_Ann 'I had too much sugar' Siam._

_P.S-The unicorn general is here and wants to know if you'd like to have tea at three._

I give the letters to my owl and he flies off as I twitch and bite on the Gatorade cap, figitting like an insane little monkey. I pace and Sebastian sighs, all dressed up in the Cross Academy uniform for safety *twitch* purposes. "I tried to tell you that much sugar was a bad idea…"

"Yeahyeahyeahwheresmypen?" I rush (Translation: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's my pen?).

"Where you just left it," he points to the desk.

I snatch it and make a list, seeing all I see is a bunch of dmn, rainbow-barfing dwarves and unicorns with mohawks.

_**Supplies**_

_Mask_

_Plasma rifles_

_Shock gum_

_Magnet potion_

_Snake Venom_

_Personality changer_

_Kitty Thingy_

_Cat ears_

_Ointment_

_Throwing stars_

_Bug Spray _

_Snakes_

_Pliers_

_Gender changes_

_Noose_

_VK Books _(which I scratch out andcategorize that as 'EMERGENCY')

May I say someone was poaching and now the hawk is dead. –Moment of Silence- Okay, since that's done, I have to use all of this crp by Thursday before my mind explodes with the upcoming stuff you people are probably going to send me (sorry, but you have to admit, when it takes over a thousand words to just get it all, it's kind of a lot). Yet again, it's kind of good, because you get nice long chap-Off track. Off track BTCH! *smacks head against wall*.

**Funny Farm**

Friday-Plasma attack from Mrs. Claus. Okay, if you haven't got it, the mask is basically going to provide me with that. I told Headmaster my plan and also told him every embarrassing secret about him from birth to age three. Total? Twenty-two. So yeah, that's taken care of. I'm in the trees, watching the Day Class students have lunch, and put on the mask, making me look like Mrs. Claus. Sebastian is shaking his head up at me as I take a swig from a alcohol bottle (no worries, it's filled with cream soda […Actually, you should panic]). "My Lady," Sebastian calls up, "shouldn't you consider the damage this will cause to the building?"

"It's 'Your Majesty'," I sigh, "and nah, it's not an important part of my land."

His eye twitches slightly and he sighs. "Yes…_Your Majesty._"

"Just think about it, when you get back to Ciel, you'll see there are worse people than Mey-Rin, Baldroy, and cute little Finnian~" I sing.

"Have you heard? There's a rumor going around," a girl tells her friend, "that Idol loves Ann!"

"WHOA WHAT?" I slide off the branch, slamming into the ground and pulling the trigger, it firing and destroying the table those very girls sit at.

"Who the heck is that?" her friend screams.

"Mrs. Claus btch," I sigh. "And SHE HAS A PLASMA RIFLE FROM ST. NICK! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Sebastian chuckles and watches as I nearly obliterate the Terrence.

**Saturday**

Okay, this is basically 'Takuma Torture Day'. Sebastian pushes bush leaves away from our faces and we see Takuma talking to Kaname in front of the dorm. "Tell me again why I have to do this," he sighs.

"You're usually not this whiny," I state.

"True, but may I say I still don't really appreciate the fact you're still stuck in a sugar rush, your majesty."

"Oh, so this has to be when I'm sober, HUH?" I snap. "Trust me, I was _born _like this!"

"Actually, you were when your father dropped you twice."

"Oh shut up!"

"Who knows what kind of polite, young woman could've come from an un-clumsy father?"

I growl and force-feed him shock gum, which you have to admit, he asked for it. I nibble on a Hershey's bar and jump out, tackling Takuma from behind. "Vice President~" I sing. "I need you to test out some things~"

I have no idea why, but I actually feel _sorry _for him for the upcoming events. He smiles kindly. "As long as it's not poison or that gender change."

_Sht. Ah well, he doesn't have to know~…Okay, that's low. Even Sebastian-sama doesn't lie~_Ah fck it. I hand him the shock gum, which he eats and starts jerking. "Here, this should help~" I hand him the magnet potion.

He drinks it all and a metal rail rips off the ground and slams into the side of his face. "ACK!"

"Oops…" I lie. "Uh, maybe this one…"

He takes the snake venom and chokes, spazzing out with foam bursting out of his mouth. Uh…Anyone else growing a conscious and saying 'stop now or else'? I shrug and walk over to Sebastian. "Do you per chance have a tinsee anti-"

Sebastian is holding a vial with sloshing silver liquid inside. "Here your majesty," he smiles.

I blink. "Why would a demon have a remedy?" I snatch it.

He smirks and leans close. "I have my reasons."

To prevent from raping him, I walk backwards and quickly pour it into his mouth. The foam dies out and I help Takuma up. "T-Thank you," he blushes slightly.

"Uh…why?" I blink.

"Well, you could've left me to foam like so."

True. Wait…Zero blushes….Hanabusa has rumors about him and me…Takuma…I blink and walk back to Sebastian, pulling him down to my level and smooching him right then and there. He's still, not even kissing back, but who the fck cares now. After a minute, I pull away and stomp into the Night Class dorms, Takuma's jaw slamming into the ground. "Kaname~ Where are you~" Kaname is on the couch, but he gets up to leave right when I said his name. "Hey!" I tug on the back of his jacket. "I just want you to test out something with Takuma!"

"No."

"Please? I'll be your best friend~"

"No."

"I'll be the maid of honor at your wedding with Kurosei~"

"**NO."**

"I'll…um…give you the pleasure of my company?"

"N. O."

Mika, do you know Elfen Lied? If you do, you might be getting an order for Lucy soon enough. "I won't torture you as much as I usually do?"

"Nope."

"Oh fck it. What ever happened to the bond we built last year as friends, huh?" I yank the jacket.

He blinks and sighs. "Oh fine. It better not be shock gum."

"It's not."

"Or poison."

"Already used it all on Takuma."

"Nothing to do with 'Samurai Panthy' or 'Sebassy', RIGHT?"

I nod. "They left for Canada."

He nods and takes a step for the door before he turns with a raised brow. "Canada?"

"Yeah, it's where they live," I shrug. "They are sisters."

"One messed up family."

_Tell me about it. _"Okay, well let's hurry up before my Sugar-Rush dies because I'd like to end this torture segment with it."

"But you said-"

"It's a little bad."

He sighs and I push him next to Takuma.

**Funny Farm**

"Again, WHY?" Takuma's mouth screams at me.

"Calm down Kan-I mean…Ichijo?" Kaname's brow raises.

Yep. Personality switch. Kurosei is hugging both (seeing Kaname's body is there and his personality is in the other one).

**Sunday**

School day OFF! Yay~ And it's going to rain this afternoon to! I tug Sebastian's arm so he can stop groping my kitty and come along already. "You're sexy, yet obsess over cats…" I sigh, a sweat-drop on my head. "You're going to be fawning over Hanabusa and not the kitty soon enough…"

"Hmm?"

"Nothing," I snap. "Just nothing."

"Then why are you attempting to crush my hand?"

I blink and look at our hands to see I am indeed trying to crush it. I loosen my grip and keep tugging him forward. After a while, we manage, his face clawed seeing I told my kitty to escape (that was her solution: bloodying his sexy face). He's pouting and I knock on Hanabusa's door. "Go away," he sighs (or she).

"Oh relax, you'll be normal by Thursday!" I sigh.

"I'm serious!" she bursts out (and yes, the voice also changed slightly to fit with the girlish demeanor). "Akatsuki and I are GIRLS!"

I hand him the cat-transformer. "Take this."

She narrows her eyes. "Why _should _I?"

"You want me to tase you instead?"

She sighs and takes it, body morphing into a tiny, blonde pussy. She wrinkles her nose and licks the back of her paw. Sebastian looks at it. "That turns you into a cat?" he blinks.

I stare at it. "That's not how it worked before…Oh well," I tuck it in my pocket and pick her up. She licks my face and I narrow my eyes at nothing. I sigh and take her outside, taking out the cage from the bushes and sticking her in, tying the cage up onto the tallest branch of a nice, tall tree. I make sure the leaves above it are cleared and thunder cackles, the light striking somewhere. I jump and slip, crashing into Sebastian's arms. The rain starts and Hanabusa meows, but I ignore her. "Well, that's it for now…"

Sebastian looks guilty as the thunder cackles. I sigh, seeing I feel guilty to. Just a bit though. She totally deserves it.

**Monday**

Well, Kaname found out about it and scolded me for it, in which I just hit his foot with Sally. She's not on the list because I plan to keep her. I'm serious, I even cataloged all my permanent weapons.

_Sebastian the Scythe (he came~)_

_Ciel the Cleaver (")_

_William the Whip Pen (here to stay~)_

_Marvin the Tazer (the rest of his family perished =()_

_F.I.F.Y the tazer_

_Nancy the Nail Gun _

_Baldroy the tazer_

_Mey-Rin the tazer_

_Tanaka the tazer_

_Finnian the tazer_

Everything else perished, was used, or I accidentally lost (or all three for the MK 47 Rifle [sorry Yuki~]). I knock on Kurosei's door and she hops out. "Yes Ann~" she hugs me.

I blink and tap her head. "Do you have that camera?" I ask.

"Yes~" she beams.

"Good. Because I'm using the cat-"

"YAY~~~" she tackles me.

"ACK!"

**Funny Farm**

Who knew the Demon Queen was so dmn friendly? Don't have any particular problem with it, it's just WHY DOESN'T SEBASTIAN LIKE ME? I sigh and Kurosei hugs Kaname from behind, hearts swarming her person. Kaname glares at me and mouths 'one of these days'. Don't get what crack he's been smoking but *shrug*. I knock on Zero's dorm. When I just hear the rustle of bed sheets, I sigh and take out William from my shirt pocket. I enter and William turns into a whip. I raise in and flick harshly.

**Funny Farm**

After Zero beat me up, I am required to use all of the cream (mostly for broken bones and swollen spots). So THAT'S out…Zero's panting, red, and sweating. I sigh and put the ears on. "There~" I sing. "Kaname, your turn."

"Nah."

"Come on!" Kurosei begs.

"Nope."

I smirk. "Kurosei…" I clutch the ears. "Hold him down."

So she does that with obvious pleasure and I force the ears on. We have a slight photo shoot after that (both to their protests) and we go off into her dorm to watch the videos. Let's just say I wouldn't recommend watching them if you like to not laugh up both lungs.

**Tuesday**

_Throwing stars_

_Bug Spray _

_Snakes_

_Pliers_

_Gender changes_

_Noose_

I stare at the list and tap William against my temple. "Jeez…Rakisu, can you think of anything?"

"Nope," she sighs, sitting in the center of her reeking star. "Maybe you should try to at least be nice to them for today."

I sigh and stand, walking out. Sebastian is waiting across the hall, smiling. "Have you had a good rest, your majesty?"

"Meh," I shrug. "Could've been better."

He blinks at the cow-costume Sebastian I'm holding. He points to it. "Who's that?"

"You," I blurt. "Long story."

Not really but would you tell him you're a crazy fan who wants to just rape him? *You shake your head (Now. Do it.)* Uh-huh, that's what I _thought_. So, we go to the Day Classes, where he observes. I sit alone, seeing someone blabbed about ME being Mrs. Claus. I'm serious, I'm sitting alone.

"_Hey look! It's Ann!" a boy laughs._

_I blink, my pigtails still. "Yeah, so?"_

_A boy walks up behind me and shoves me to the ground. I scream and scrape my hands. "Haha!"_

_Yep. First grade. "Leave her alone!" a girl with dark red hair shoves the boy. "What did she do to you?"_

"_Stay out of this!"_

"_Make me, jerk!"_

_I stare as they fight verbally. I eventually stand and stare past them to see a mailbox. My eyes shimmer red. "What the-" the boy blinks._

_The mailbox levitates out of the ground and slams into his side. The girl blinks and shakes my shoulders. "Hey, stop!"_

_It keeps up. "Don't be rude to girls," I narrow my eyes. _

_The girl is my 'cousin', Rakisu. She sighs and pats my head, another force making the mailbox drop. Yep. Her. "Don't worry Annie."_

_I blink innocently. "Who's Annie?"_

_She laughs and hugs me. She's in a different class, but she's still in my grade. She's my cousin…and my best friend._

I sigh and stare out the window aimlessly. "Yep. Those only come when I run out of sugar. CURSE YOU SUGAR-LACK!" People blink and I blink to. Gloom comes over me. "Jeez…"

"She's so weird…" a girl whispers.

"How does she even have friends?"

My eyes fly to the corners to stare at them without their knowledge. "Maybe her parents are rich?"

"Yeah, I can't believe that. Maybe she's just an attention seeker…"

My jaw hardens. Some catch this, but they don't. They keep going. "I bet she's adopted, and her parents were criminals in jail," the first continues.

I grip my skirt. I hide my eyes. _Adopted…huh? _"No, the whole school thinks she was just an asylum patient. Even Yuki and Zero think that. So do the Night Class."

My heart stops. I know I'm crazy…but smearing it all over the school? Okay, what happened to all the funny? I swear, THIS IS WHY KIDS SHOULD KEEP HAVING SUGAR! It's like a good-luck charm. If kids don't, they get bullied. Tell your guardians that, and I'm pretty sure they'll believe it, seeing I'm apparently proving it. I take out some left over candy. "And she keeps stuffing her face. She's going to get so fat."

I stop. "Dude, I think she heard that."

"You think?" I snap my head towards them. They gulp. Zero looks my way and sees my furious expression. "That's it. Sebastian, we're leaving."

"You can't ditch class!" the second gasps.

"Watch me~" I smirk. "Asylum patient, HA! They're WAY to scared~" I lean a little towards her, my face darkening with a cold smile. "As should you be."

I hand her a piece of candy I filled with gender change and she hesitantly eats it. _Poof_. "WHAT THE FCK?" _he _screams.

I laugh as Sebastian and I exit. Yep. Candy is good luck~

**Moral: If kids don't eat candy, they get bullied. That's why they need a lot of it~**

**Second Moral: Getting me high on sugar is just as bad as getting someone drunk.**

**Third Moral: Getting me drunk resolves to me being on every news bulletin you can think of, because it sure is a Hll of a lot worse than my Sugar Rush.**

**Okay, if someone can, can you send me (Ann) Lucy from Elfen Lied for the field trip? I just got a text from Linkin saying she's coming, so she'll want to meet her hero~ (That, and I need ideas from her XD)**

**I will also take suggestions for the Owl and my new kitty's names~**

**Review~**


	9. Chapter 9

**Well, someone asked a question and I shall answer! (-**_**How do you update every single day-**_**) Fairly simple: I have no life.**

**Tiny correction to a statement-the Hawk died, not the owl.**

_**Annoying the Vamps**_** and **_**Annoying the Vamps 2**_** is sponsored by **_**LinkinNeedsSugarFoundation**_**, how crack-filled stories are born.**

_Nine_

Well. It's Wednesday. The rest of Tuesday was pretty much spent using Kurosei's candy gift card (in which the past mini-fridge is now a full-sized one). Sebastian is dusting the room (happily because he hates me and wants to go back to wherever) while Rakisu walks in, back hunched, with more packages and notes. I skip over and trip her (totally by accident *not really~*), grabbing Yuki's note.

_Dear Majesty Ann,_

_I hope I get to see you soon and I hope you'll let me beat up anyone who even thinks bad about you, I hope the candy in this package helps along with the White kitten with Blue eyes, I call her Angel, and I recommend calling the black one Demon, for obvious reasons! Thanks for the note too!_

_Your Eternally Faithful Worshiper and Follower,_

_Yuki Hoshino._

My little black cat rams into a new carrier, which I open to a white kitty with blue eyes. My black kitty scratches at her and then they start fighting, in which they claw my hand. "OW!" I scream. "LITTLE FUR DEMONS!"

Sebastian bandages up my hand as I pout and I go through Yuki's package. I take out a LOT of candy (fills at least a mini-fridge), a lot of marshmallows (my favorite~ they remind me of the bunnies I eat heads off of~), and a nice, shiny shotgun. "WOOOO!" I jump. "Shotgun~ I'll name this…uh…what's a name that starts with 'S', my favorite cousin?"

"Satan?" she shrugs.

I dead-pan. "Only you would have that be the first-thing-to-come-to-mind…"

"Sadao?" Sebastian shrugs.

"Shotguns aren't decisive," I blink.

"Satoshi?" Rakisu huffs.

"There we go!" I hug my shotgun. "Satoshi the Shotgun!"

"It sounds like Yoshi," she shakes her head. "I guess that's the only reason?"

"Yep~"

Rakisu sighs and hands me the next note and package, this one actually small, but who cares? If it's small, it's deadly! Or does that only apply to scorpions…

_Ann,_

_I can send Lucy over when Sebastian comes back and as long as you don't kill him or muck up his sexy face I am fine with it. Also you can keep Lucy as long as you need, but I need Sebastian soon. I have a few potions for you this time. One will make someone talk for about 3 hours straight, but the other one will make them silent. There are about 5 doses of each, but no cures. Another thing I have for you is a remote to control the weather, but you need to charge it every night with the charger provided. Sorry, but this is all I can give to you now and still keep the fact I am actually sending you this stuff away from the military (they think this stuff is dangerous, Pfft!)._

_Any potions, anime characters or firearms you need just ask!_

_Mika xx_

_All hail her majesty Ann!_

I smirk and get my owl to hook onto Sebastian's head. "Take this facetious piece of sexiness back to Mik-"

For God knows what radiation my dear little owl grows HUMUNGOUS and flies out the window with a truly shocked Sebby-sama. With this, I take out Vodka from Rakisu's bag and swig it down. "AlriGHT!" I chuck the bottle at the wall. "Let'S GET the' rESt…"

Rakisu, being the smart as she is, whacks me with a pan before I can even have any drunk-fun.

**Loopy-Loopy Funny Farm~**

I wake up on the bed, my owl's big eyes staring into mine. I scream and roll off, him being the fcking lucky one and flying onto the headboard. I mutter a few curses before checking Mika's package. Yep. I account for the ten doses of vocal-screwing and the remote. I slide over the big package and open it, jumping in expecting Styrofoam, getting a major headache. Well, that's what you get for landing head-first on a mini-fridge when you're a vampy. I grumble and snatch the note, hoping it doesn't have one of those pop-out punching gloves.

_ANN,_

_THANK YOU FOR THE RUKA PLUSHY!_

_IT IS NOW TINY PECIES OF STUFFING AND CLOTH IN MY TRASH WAITING TO BE BURNED! I KNEW YOU WERE GONG TO GET THE CRAP BEAT OUT OF YOU BUT I DID NOT KNOW THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE THAT BAD! AND WHEN I SAID ICHIOU I MENT TAKUMAS GRAND FATHER... IT WAS STILL FUNNY THOUGH...AND YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT ME NOT FEELING SORRY FOR TELLING YOU KANMES PHOBIA...HERE IS A LIST OF SOME MORE..._

_RUKA-THE COLOR PINK (...NO COMMENT..)_

_KAIN-WATER (NOT SUPRISEING SINCE HE CONTROLS FIRE)_

_AIDO-CATS! (FUNNY RIGHT SINCE YOU TURNED HIM INTO ONE)_

_SHIKI AND RIMA- REALLY DONT KNOW..._

_ANYWHO I AM CHEERFUL BECAUSE I HAVE A TRIPLE SPLIT PERSONALITY! THE ONE YOU SEE ALL THE TIME IS MY GOOD SIDE WHICH YOU SEE WHEN I AM ENKOYING MYSELF, SECOND IS WHEN I GET WOKE UP TO EARLY JUST CRANKY THOUGH ;), AND THE LAST ONE IS MY SIDE THAT YOUHOPE YOU NEVER SEE! LETS JUST SAY LAST TIME IF YOU DID NOT GET OUT OF THAT ROOM FAST ENOUGH YOU WERE MISSING YOUR HEAD IN A MATTER OF SECONDS..._

_BUT WHEN YOU BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THOSE DAY CLASS STUDENTS I WILL GLADLY HELP. ANYWAY TO YOUR LIST..._

_THE DEMON GUEEN AND YOUR LOYAL MINION AND SUPPLYER,_

_-KUROSEI_

Oh…LINKIN! I swear she really needs to learn how to fcking text people. Ah well. I'll try with the next batch if there is-"Oh look another batch," I giggle, holding the snake venom (which I label 'Ichio'). I also dig out ointment, which I spread over my scalp. That leaves about ten and three-quarters of ointment left (why do I have a feeling it's going to be used up before the trip ends?). I also get pink spray paint and dye, which I smirk and rush out.

**Funny Farm**

"Ruka's going to be screaming every time she sees me~" I sing, ruffling my new-pink curls. "What 'cha think Rakisu?"

"Too 'ulk'," she shudders.

I feel a wave of gloom over-come me. "Now you're gonna avoid me to…"

She rolls her eyes and hauls me into the box, landing in it herself. My two **adorable** kitties jump in and land on our **faces **and I have to stuff a cat plushy (apparently that's how Rakisu claims it is spelt) in their faces. Then I note the numerous amount of them and sing 'Cat Plushy Heaven' by 'I Made This Up in A Second'. _(dashes are drags) "Cat-Plushy Hea-ven~ It's where all the cat plushy toys play~ Cat-Plushy Hea-ven~ It's where little kids get raped by Santa because he's there offering Cat-Plu-SHIES! Cat-Plushy Hea-ven~ It's why parents pre-fer to not get pets at all-~."_

"OH MY GOD SHUT UP!" Rakisu covers her ears.

I pick up a camera and speak into it. "Thank you! You can get the song on 'Terrible Tunes'~"

I then freeze. "What?" Rakisu grunts.

I leap out and open my laptop to check on the cameras. Yep. All totally destroyed. Well, there are two with frozen pictures, one of Zero's butt and the other…

…of Zero's dck.

Yep. My perverted, deceased cameras caught Zero's dck on film. I flush red and slowly close it, taking of Ciel and destroying the laptop completely. I'm panting at the end of it. "That's…the LAST time…I put camera's in Zero's dorm…"

Rakisu sighs and puts the cameras in one bag, the cat plushy toys in another, the potions in another, the candy in the new mini-fridge (which she puts on top of the full-sized one), and the notes on my stand. I hold the remote and remember the note, so I make it rain and skip back into the box. I hit something plastic-like and yank up a plastic swimming pool. "What the," Rakisu blinks.

"This could go with the ball pit~" I sing.

Okay, would I get rid of something that awesome? No. I just don't write it down because it's ANN time, not STALK ANN time, K? I see Rakisu stuffing more plushy toys into a bag as fast as she can and I cross my arms. She sighs and holds up a plushy Day Class Student. I squeal and grab it, gorging out it's stuffing with a throwing star. "And that's why I tried to keep it away," she shakes her head. "Wow, these people sure are big fans if they give you this much crp."

"It's not crp!" I protest. "It's-"

"Crp."

I scowl and chuck a plushy at her. "Don't be cranky because you're anti-social."

"I'm not-…Never mind. Just think about it though. How many torture devices do you actually have, and how many pleasure items are there?"

"A lot and a lot."

"Exactly. You can't even remember!"

I roll my eyes and stuff more sugar into the fridge, taking out twenty pixie sticks and eating those as breakfast. I also find more Scared-Kaname videos. Rakisu hands me bunny ears and cotton tails labeled 'Hanabusa' and 'Akatsuki'. Yep. Kurosei is officially obsessed with dressed the vampies as adorable animals. Lastly, I toss more shock gum out of the box. "So…today is going to be busy…" I sigh.

"Do they ever tell you actual _jobs _or do they just give you the supplies so you make up your own sht?"

"You cuss a lot."

"I don't have a dmn clue of what you're fcking talking about, btch."

I scowl and take the swimming pool and my kitties. "Whatever. Just get the bunny parts and let's go to the Night Dorms."

"But it's the fcking day time."

I sigh and force-feed her the 'silence' potion. That, and all pieces of shock gum. "And you see why it goes away so fast~" I sing to my black cat, 'Lucifer the Death Demon', or 'Lucy' for short.

**Funny Farm**

"This is heavier than it looks!" I struggle with the swimming pool.

"Well of course it is," Rakisu sighs. "It's a big plastic piece of crp."

I huff. There is no end to her sailor mouth. It sucks that the silence potion wore off after the hour it took us to get HALF FCKING WAY. We stop in front of the Hanabusa/Akatsuki dorm, not having to fill up the pool due to rain, and bang against the door with plenty of fatigue. "OPEN THE FCK UP OR I'M BLOWING UP THE DOOR!" I roar.

Well, my sugar levels are at an all-time low, so yeah, I'm pssed. Akatsuki opens the door, looking a bit shaken, and screams like a complete _pussy _at the sight of the pool. "What?" Hanabusa rushes over, who _**also **_screams like a complete pussy at the sight of my adorable cats, Lucifer the Death Demon and Angel Fluff. What? THEY'RE DECENT NAMES! Of course, if I see Lucy the Diclonius Queen (Google), I don't think she'd appreciate my Lucifer's little shortened name (names you may call Lucifer the Death Demon: Lucifer the Death Demon, Lucifer, Death Demon, Grim, Reaper, Death, Lucy, Fluffy, Bob, Ann's Personal Minion). Any other names are subjected to Lucifer the Death Demon's wrath. I blink to suddenly find Hanabusa and Akatsuki hiding under their bed covers. "GET RID OF THOSE DEMONS!"

"But they're cute," I whine.

I hear her (doesn't wear off until tomorrow) huff and peek out, seeing Rakisu and I by the door. "Oh whatever. Just keep them away from _me_."

The pool water freezes and both my cousin and I slam into the ground, seeing she just tipped the weight over the edge. "JERK!" I sit up.

"Hey, not my fault you're girls!"

**Funny Farm**

"What was that about being a girl?"

"I'M A GIRL NOW REMEMBER?" she snaps.

"Calm down," Akatsuki sighs. "Look, what do you two want?"

Okay, so basically, their hair is the same, so are the eye colors and basic coloring, but their eyes are slightly wider and their nuts are gone, boobs projecting from their usual area. I'm actually jealous because they got melons and not mosquito bites (why does the Tit Angel hate me?). That's what they look like as girls. That, and all traces of built up muscle are gone. I hold up the bunny parts. "Put these on."

Rakisu holds up a camera. "Kurosei is one for this type of thing, and Ann refuses to disappoint."

"No-"

"Sure," Hanabusa smiles. "If you do me a little favor…"

"What?" I scowl.

"After," she smirks. "Okay, give us the parts."

Akatsuki sighs. "You stupid vampire…" she shakes her head.

So, they put on the parts and Rakisu takes well-placed photos. I smile after checking them and wave. "Thank you~" I hug Akatsuki and Hanabusa. Both blush and I shove Rakisu out, checking the bunny parts off of the 'used' list. Ruka starts walking this way, so I chuckle and take out the spray paint. I skip in front of him and wave. "YO!"

He screams and I spray the pink mist all over his uniform, then spraying the bug spray in his eyes. As he screams, Rakisu drags me all the way back to Dorm 666 before Kaname catches us.

**Funny Farm**

Rakisu stops the stopwatch. "Two minutes. A new record of decapitation of one-hundred plush toys."

Well, you have to add up the vampire ones, the Night Class ones, and the Day Class ones. Don't worry, the Black Butler ones and kitty plushy are safe. My suitcase is on my bed (my torture one that's red with pink sparkles spelling 'Mommy's Tiny Devil'), filled with the potions (I have a feeling I'll need them for the trip~), my candy stashes (so yeah, it's massive), William, Marvin, Ciel, Nancy, the cat food, the noose, the gender and cat changes, the poison, a camera (the rest are in Zero's dorm~), the remote was destroyed (dmn owl apparently was fed whiskey), the videos, the snakes, and Zero's diary. Yep. That's all I'm bringing with me on the trip (anymore and I'll break my back -_-;). I grab the suitcase and rush to the Night Classes, the clock almost hitting midnight. Rakisu follows in suit and once we reach the classroom, we see Ruka, Akatsuki, and Hanabusa switched back to their normal genders. Zero and Yuki are sitting down, so I decide to annoy little Zero.

"ZERO!" I glomp him.

He blushes. "G-Get off!" he tries to shove me off.

What is with his blushing lately? I refuse to suggest…that. "Nah~"

Rakisu shoves F.I.F.Y into my rib cage and presses the button, making me jerk like a rag doll. I eventually swipe it from her and some old geezer comes in as everyone stares. He looks like an older Taku-Oh crp this is Ichio. Headmaster also walks in and…"Who the fck is the pirate?" Rakisu mutters.

"YAGARI~~~~~~~" I dash to the front of the class, glomping said hunter.

"Oh it's you," he sighs.

"Ann," Headmaster laughs nervously. "Ple-"

"Who's this?" Ichio asks in a gruff voice.

I stand straight and de-glomp Yagari, presenting a hand, the other with the poison (Rakisu's the best~ and a Pureblood that will kick yo' as* if you dare be mean to me~). "Ann 'Demon Gone Out Of Hand' Siam~" I sing. "May you test this out?"

"ANN!" Kaname swipes it as I offer it. "Sorry Ichio. She's…special."

I pout. "Aw…You didn't let me give him the fcking poison. Now you just made this harder for him."

I make it levitate out of his hands and tackle Ichio, everyone rushing to get me off. It works **after **I force-feed him the poison. "ARE YOU INSANE!" Headmaster shrieks.

"Yep~" I sing.

"Ann…" Zero face-palms.

"He's an important person!" Yuki snaps.

"And there are outsiders coming to! THIS IS DISTASTEROUS!" Headmaster cries.

"What?" Yagari, Zero, Yuki, Rakisu (who walks down slowly), and I gulp.

The door slams open. "PERVERT!"

"Aw, Yuki-kins-"

"SHUT UP! AND STOP GROPING MY BREASTS!"

"Now, now Yuki-san…"

I freeze and turn slowly. I then beam and tackle the blonde girl with pink-brown eyes. "YUKI~~~!" I sing. "YOU'RE COMING!"

Zero chuckles as Yuki hugs me back. "Ann-sama!" she squeals.

The white-haired boy pouts. "What about me, huh?"

I scowl at him and hide behind Yuki a little. "See? He's a Barney." I take out a picture of the purple dinosaur and hold it next to Barney himself. "See? TWINS!"

Yuki laughs as Nick tries to grab the picture, but I shock him with Marvin. "OW!" he snaps.

Something breaks through the window and I turn. Kaname seizes my owl and rips out a letter from its claws. "Ann," he states.

I sigh and take the letter and bash his wrists with Ciel for him to release Fear. Hanabusa stares at it. "Who's it from?"

"Probably another psychopath," Ruka mutters.

"Be nice," Akatsuki snaps at her. "She's just not good with people."

I freeze while opening the letter. Ichio is helped up. "Obviously," Ichio mutters.

"Now Grandfather," Takuma huffs.

"_Not now Ann," my mom said as I held the calendar in front of my face. _

_May 5__th__, my birthday. _

"_**I'm sorry Mrs. Siam, but Ann is nothing but a monster!"**_

"_**Now hold on a minute!" Mom stands. "She's not-"**_

"_**She nearly burned the school down!" the aged second-grade teacher stands as well. "I WANT HER OUT OF THIS SCHOOL!"**_

_**I'm watching. Rakisu's not here, she's at some soiree with the older vampires. Dad is working. Richard is at school. Al is being baby-sat. I hug my decapitated vampire plushy as I watch them yell. **_

"Shut up!" Yuki snaps. "Ann-sama is better than all of you!" They face her. "At least she tries to have fun and isn't stuck up, bratty, sht-filled crp nuggets like **you**!"

I smile a little and hug Yuki. "Thanks Yuki-chan~" I sing.

She salutes. "Yes my majesty."

Zero nods. "She's right. Ann isn't like you people."

Yuki sighs. "Zero…"

Zero pats my head. "Are you going to open the let-"

We hear panting and we turn to a panting girl. "He…Here!"

"Oh, hi Night-chan," Yuki waves once.

"Night?" I raise a brow.

Both point to the letter. I open it quickly to satisfy my curiosity.

_Dear Ann-sama,_

_Hi, I'm Night and a new follower to our Queen~ I hope you like what I send you and it seems that you need Lucy-san if I am correct. She will be there in exactly 5 minutes after you read this~ Enjoy! Also if you need guns, bombs, electronics, stuff like that my family owns a weapon shop and I can build electronics so just ask!_

_Your newest insane follower, Night~_

"YAY~~~~" I glomp Night. "LUCY'S COMING~~~~"

Night laughs nervously. Kaname is wide-eyed. Hanabusa blinks. Senri blinks as well. "Who's Lucy?" Rima asks.

You know, I was forgetting about them. Rakisu answers for me. "Anime character," she shrugs. "Really fatal. Shouldn't mess with her."

"What anime?" Yuki wonders.

"Elfen Lied," Yagari shrugs. Everyone stares at him. "What? Have a problem?"

"Yes," everyone says.

"Okay!" Headmaster claps. "Please sit back down!"

I force Yuki and Night next to me, Barney sitting on Yuki's other side. She sweat-drops and prays silently. Ichio clears his throat. "Okay, I simply just wanted to inform you that the Senate has business in the area you are traveling to, so please do not-"-this is when he eyes me-"-disturb our work."

I roll my eyes. "K." _Not._

After four minutes, we're shoved outside and we start to go to the gates when…"NIGHT YOU BTCH!"

Night squeaks and hides behind me. "Why does that voice sound familiar?" Rakisu thinks.

I have hearts for eyes and dash forward, leaving Night to go behind Yuki, who has multiple tick marks due to Nick's groping of her breasts. "LUCY-SENPAI!" I glomp said Diclonius.

"Eh? Oh, you're Ann," Lucy blinks.

"This is gonna be the best trip ever~" I dance around her.

I feel a strong, invisible force stop me. "Yeah, yeah, let's just get to the busses at the front before I decapitate Night."

Night laughs nervously. "Okay, it was a little far to kidnap you, but hey, Ann's nice~"

Lucy rolls her eyes and heads for the bus, everyone blinking as I worship my own Queen.

**Moral: Queens have Queens. **

**Not that funny I guess, huh? *sulk* Gomen. Gomen.**

**Okay, sorry, but PLEASE do not send too much during the trip (when they get back to the academy, feel free). I cannot carry that much around a haunted place with a suitcase that'll only get so big. **

**So, review, and if you suddenly want to appear during the trip, leave a description (name if I don't know it already) of how you want to be represented (I already get that you're not going for real, seeing this is the internet). **

**REVIEW~ **

**Please donate to the **_**LinkinNeedsSugarFoundation **_**to keep up the existence of crack-filled stories by moi~ and Linkin but who cares about her =_=**


	10. Chapter 10: Things To Do On The Bus

_Ten_

_Subtitle: Things to do on a Bus_

"Hold up!" a familiar voice calls when we're all on the bus.

I sigh. "Dmn it…"

"What?" Lucy stretches out her arms.

"ANN~~~~"

I yelp as Naomi glomps me. "Where did you come from?" Night asks.

"Mars~" Naomi beams. "You see, I ran into some dwarves and asked them where unicorns were and they teleported me to Mars where all the unicorns were dead~"

Anyone else have a little voice in the back of their head that's saying that she's crazier than me? …Thought not. Anyways *claps hands*-"What are you clapping for?" Kaname turns back in his seat.

"For the unicorns," I snap. "They've finally learned how to play dead~"

"Oh brother…" he puts his head in his hands.

Yuki randomly glomps me. "Ann-sa-" **BAM! **"-YOU FCKING PERV!"

"Ow, Yuki-kins-"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT! IT'S CONTAGIOUS!"

I blink and stand placidly. "Uh…Ann?"

Headmaster sighs. "You might not want to start the bus yet…"

"AHHH!" I scream, running up and down the small walk-through. "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIEEEEEEE!" I get back to the front and yank Kaname out of his seat, hiding behind his back. "GOD TAKE HIM FIRST! I STILL NEED TO GROW TITS!"

"LET GO OF ME!" Kaname tries to jerk away.

Honestly, I'm well known for my iron grip~ Richard sighs and taps Kaname's shoulder. "That's not going to do anything, Kaname. She actually ripped off a nurse's _nose _when the nurse tried to jerk her hand off."

"THAT'S MY ANN-SAMA~~" Naomi glomps me, making me yelp and crash into the floor. Her black (fading to silver) hair gets in my face, so I have to swat the strands away before Lucy manages to get her off.

"Anything _else _before we leave?" Headmaster sighs.

Night looks around with her blinking silver eyes. "I don't think-"

"'Cuse me, where's Ann?"

We turn to a fourteen-year-old (WHY AM I THE ONLY THIOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD) with black hair and gray eyes. She's short, her clothing style Gothic, and I'm taller~ I pat her head. "And who are you~" I giggle.

"Mika, Ann," she sighs.

"MIKA~~~~~~" I glomp her, both of us falling out of the bus with an 'ACK'.

"Uh…" she hands me a letter.

I beam and shove her into the bus, forcing the door shut and shoving Lucy, Yuki, Naomi, and Mika towards the back, sitting on the ground and Nick walking back. "Don't part me from my Yuki-kins~" he hugs Yuki.

"What the-" **SLAP! **"YOU PERV! GET THOSE MITS OUT OF MY SKIIIRT!"

I ignore the bickering rapist and poor, pitiful victim and read the note.

_Ann,_

_I have just worked out how to make a potion that turns people into giant snails, but I might have used nuclear radiation to make it and I don't know the side effects. I mean for it to be used on Ruka and I am sending some more gender changes (this time the bottle magically refills itself!). See you soon!_

_Any potions, anime characters or firearms you need just ask!_

_Mika xx_

_All hail her majesty Ann!_

I take the little slug-transformer and she hands me more gender changes. I beam and glomp her again. "Now~" I stand in front of the back seat, "seeing I have minions gathered, let's provide **things to do on the bus**. MUHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"

"Ann, cut it out," Zero sighs.

My eye twitches. "Someone get Ciel…"

"The character?" they all ask (you know I was hoping for one smart person).

"NO! MY CLEVER!" I pout.

"You don't need that," Kaname sighs.

"SHUT UP EAVESDROPPER!" I chuck a gender change at him, which he dodges and it hits the back of the driver's head. "AHH!"

We all cling to someone. When something hits the bus, we all scream and soon the bus stops. I blink and the door opens, Kurosei stomping in, prying a trembling Ruka off of not-caring Kaname's arm, shoving her out, closing the door, and screaming, "FLOOR IT BTCH!"

The bus driver does as said and Kurosei waves at Kaname, skipping over. "Kurosei~" I hug her. "You btch~ I needed to slip her something~"

"Sorry," she giggles. She sits on her knees on the left seat in front of the long seat everyone is sitting in and takes out her 'twenty-pics a second' camera. "Ah…" she drools, aiming the camera at none other than Kaname. "My love…we shall be married soon enough…"

"Ah I remember when I was in love," Rakisu comes over (she's really that type of person that you can't really force to join a group…). "I still am~"

Lucy sighs. "So, are we going to sing a merry song or shut up?"

I smirk. "SING~"

"NO," Kaname snaps, turning in his seat. His face goes an angry shade of red at the sight of Kurosei. "WILL YOU CUT THE FCK OUT WITH THAT *censor* CAMERA OF YOURS!"

"Keep going," I whisper to her. "LET'S SING! WHOEVER DOESN'T…" I wave William. "WILL GET A VERY HARMFUL LASHING! Except my dear friends and relatives~"

They sigh and Lucy shakes her head, drawing on her knee. Yuki jumps next to me, Nick slumping because I doubt he wants to taste Marvin's wrath again *laugh*. Mika shrugs and closes a book, walking to my other side. Rakisu jumps onto my back, making me fall face-first into the fcking ground (sometimes she IS an as-hole). Kurosei stands and runs next to Kaname, forcing him up and shoving him over to us. Everyone else (except Yuki) look like they're about to be raped and are crying because. Yuki just joins because I'm too adorable~ (Thou who say not, shall face thy Queen's wrath and punishment of pantie-twisting).

'_Bus to DOOM'_

_By 'I Made This Up In A Second' _

_OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_

_We're on the bus_

_To our death_

_To our death_

_To our death_

_Mr. Bleh-Bleh dies the first_

_With his loving wife _

_Making birth_

_Then there goes Mr. No-Balls~_

_Mr. No-Balls_

_Mr. No-Balls_

_Stabbed to death with the students_

_ALL~ DAY~ LONG~~~_

_And finally the queen is left~_

_And nobody dare detest~_

_That's because…_

_I WILL MURDER ALL YOU MOTHER FCKING ASHOLES AND DRAG YOUR ROTTING CORPSES TO YOUR WEEPING MOTHERS AND-_

*Scratch, scratch*. I turn to see Nick offering me a paper. I pluck it up to a bunch of names and numbers. "Those are all therapists I recommend," he sighs. "I suggest going to ALL of them and getting your head fixed fast-"

Yuki whacks him behind the head. "SHUT YOUR HORNY MOUTH, BTCH!" she snaps. "Ann-sama is the best~"

"What's the web address to 'Terrible Tunes'?" Mika gets out a pen and note-pad.

I tell her the address to my web-site and she nods. "So," Rakisu sits in front of Mika, "are you a vampire to?"

"No, a witch."

"THIS IS BORING!" I stomp over next to Zero. "Zero, can I ask you something?"

"What?" he sighs, closing his eyes as the bus noisily rolls down the road.

I lean a little, hands clasped behind my back. I cock my head to the left a little. "Can you help me annoy Hanabusa?"

"And how?" he opens his left eye, looking at me.

I hand him a harmonica. "Just play this randomly and I'll do the rest~ Thank you~"

He sighs and starts playing it. Lucy eyes me, obviously bored. Yuki is taking notes (obviously of her queen~). Nick is scowling at me. Mika is watching, also a tiny bit bored, and Naomi…where the fck did Naomi go? Kurosei is taking pictures of Kaname and…"Rakisu, why are you looking out the window?"

She points to the ground without looking and I peek above the seat in front of her to Naomi taking pictures of _something_. I go down to her level and see what she's doing.

Taking pictures of all the exits.

I sigh and stand up. Hanabusa is glaring at Zero and I stomp over to Hanabusa, taking out William and scrawl all over his face as he plays, his protests not heard.

And that's how you keep yourself busy on the bus.

**Moral (I haven't done these lately): You only take pictures of exits if you know you're about to do something illegal. **

**Review~**

**Okay, so that was poking fun~**

**Both 'Cat Plushy Heaven' and 'Bus to DOOM' are liable for you to sing as long as you say 'Ann Siam will rule us all and these are our prayers'. **

**Love you~**


	11. Chapter 11

_Eleven_

"Here we are~" I sing, prancing around Cabin Number 1 with my 'Vacation Tee' (it has a vampire Chibi girl with a pretty dress~) I call Pooky (or 'Cute Little Person' in Latin~). My skinny jeans are slipping constantly, but that's mostly because it was a three day bus ride and Kaname hid all means of food from everyone associated with me (especially my bestest friend Ann Siam; she's so funny~). "Headie~" I tug on Headmaster's sleeve, "who's in my cabin?"

He looks at the list and before he can correct something, Yagari snatches it. "Kuran, Zero, Aido, Ichijo, Lucy, Nick, Mika, Kurosei, Ann, Rakisu, Naomi, and Yuki."

"WHAT?" Hanabusa and Kaname shake him.

I laugh. I skip in, pulling all of my friends (save Barney-Yagari must've read some typo-) into the cabin. It's a shabby cabin with about four rooms. Yagari shoves Kuran and Hanabusa in while Zero slumps in, slightly willing. "Okay!" I beam, climbing onto a rickety stand. "We'll separate into groups of three in each room! So-ACK!"

The stand collapses and my butt slams into the floor (I'm serious, it went through the floor). Yuki gasps and helps me up along with Lucy with her awesome vectors (okay, if you don't know *points finger* GOOGLE). "Are you alright, Ann-sama?" Yuki hugs me.

"Sa…ma?" Hanabusa blinks.

Takuma enters and waves. "So, are we in groups of three?"

Kaname and Hanabusa instantly step next to Takuma. Kaname motions all three. "Three."

"I can count, Kaname," I giggle. "So can Marvin~" They flee to a random room and I pout. "Why don't they like Marvin?" I hug my tazer, who shocks me. "Ow! Okay, you're tired! OW!"

"Get your arm off the button," everyone sighs.

I do such and catch Marvin as he falls. "OKAY!" I gleam. "Let's see…"

"Why do you get to decide?" Barney scowls, groping Yuki's as.

"Nick…" she growls. **BAM! SMACK! POW! **"STOP GROPING ME YOU PERVERT!"

"You know, you're friend isn't as harsh with _her _boyfriend!" he pouts.

"That's because…"

I drown it out with blending vampire plushies in a random blender. They all blink and I chuck it out a window. "There, are we done? Now, your _queen _shall pick the groups because she knows _certain _people!" I glare at Barney. "Barney, Zero, Lucy," I point to them and direct to the farthest room. Zero and Lucy drag Barney there and I continue. "Ann, Rakisu, uh…Yuki. Kurosei, Naomi, Mika."

I push the people into designated rooms and I slump on the bed, sifting through my week's supplies. Today's Saturday, so might as well start tomorrow on Sunday since it's seven P.M already (that's what happens when you need to go and all water bottles are filled *shrug*).

_Supplies_

_Snakes_

_Zero's Diary_

_Slug potions_

_Cat Potions_

_Gender Changes_

Mika walks in and hands me some blood vials. "It gets you to grow tits," she shrugs. "I also have these," she hands me smoke, glitter, and fake money bombs (the little bags are labeled). "Twenty each. Well, have fun with that!"

I drink all the tit blood and add the bombs to the list.

_Glitter bombs_

_Fake Money Bombs_

_Smoke bombs_

Kurosei runs in and hands me a package and a letter. She waves and runs right out, also obliterating our left door frame while at it. "Ooh~" Yuki beams. "Can I open the holy package?"

"Uh…" I push it towards her. "Sure~"

She beams and rips it open. I add the stuff in there.

_Ointment _

_Cameras_

_Laptop_

_Shock gum_

_Zero x Kaname picture_

_Ice_

_ANN,_

_I AM TERRIABLY SORRY FOR NOT SENDNG YOUR GIFTS SOONER...BUT I DID NOT HAVE INTERNET ACSSESS AGAIN UNTIL TODAY (CURSE YOU NO ELECTROIC ALLOWING 4H CAMP) *SHUDDER*. BUT I AM VERY SORRY ... SO ACEPT MY SORRY GIFT OF PICTURES OF ZERO SHIRTLESS...DONT ASK HOW I GOT THEM..JUST TAKE THEM AND DONT ASK QUESTIONS... ALSO THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME ON THE TRIP EVEN THOUGH I DID NOT ASK TO ATTEND._

_YOUR VERY SORRY FOLLOWER,_

_-KUROSEI_

As I stuff my face with more caffine-goodness, I scribble the rest on the list.

_William_

_Marvin_

_Ciel_

_Nancy_

_Cat Food (and my kitties in Rakisu's suitcase (yes, they're still living))_

_The Noose_

_Poison_

_Videos_

_Black Butler Plushies_

_Kat Plushies_

Seeing I spelt cat wrong, you can guess the candy is kicking in. I go to sleep before I decide to commence my evil deeds earlier.

**Sunday**

Ah, the Holy Day of worship…Time to torture people! I pat my kitties on the head once I sit up to find them in my lap (so loyal~). I grab the snakes and Zero's diary, storing my plushy toys on my bed all nice and neat (having to stack them up on top of each other eventually). I skip out, everyone else sleeping, and tip-toe into the room with Zero, Lucy, and Barney. I chuckle mischievously and sneak half the snakes into Zero's clothes (whether or not poisonous, I have no idea) and half into Barney's, sneaking out and reading Zero's diary on my plushy kingdom.

_Entry-Al's Birthday_

_Okay, so I felt like seeing Ann today and next thing you know, there's exploding pastries and she's talking about boners. I wonder about that girl sometimes. Yet again…_

_**I love her, so I shouldn't mind.**_

I slam it shut and stomp back in, stuffing it under his bed. I walk back in pale and wait with my horrified expression for the screams. "AAHHHH!" That was Zero's.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" That was Barney. They run in, snakes pouring out, and glare at me. "ANNN!"

"It's 'ANN' not 'ANNN'!" I point out, all this yelling making my companions awaken and the others enter to Zero and Barney stripping to get the snakes out. Once all that's left is snake in the underwear, I tazer them and the snakes exit easily.

**Sunday: Lunch**

Mika, Yuki, Kurosei, Rakisu, Lucy, Naomi, and I volunteered to help with lunch mostly because we don't want to change. We sneak bombs, gender changes, slug potions (Kurosei specifically in Ruka's), and cat potions into everyone's lunches. As we stand there in wait of chaos, I poke my full-grown tits. "Really?" Mika chuckles.

"They're squishy," I state.

**BOOM! **"AH!"

Lunches explode, cat s appear, people morph into slugs, the only lunch that just pops a 'XP' flag is Kaname's and that's because Kurosei wouldn't stop hounding me about being gentle with her Kaname, so I put my future nations flag in. Zero's face is covered in glitter and Hanabusa is once more a cat, scared stiff. Takuma is coughing and waving the smoke out of his face. We all make a peace sign and run out, everyone who's not scared chasing after (even Kaname). "ANN YOU LITTLE BTCH COME OVER HERE SO I CAN REIGN YOUR FCKING NECK!" he roars.

Lucy whistles. "He's mad."

"We know," Rakisu and I laugh nervously.

**Monday**

Okay, ointment is all used up (multiple people on both sides, so yeah, a lot of injuries). I can't help but feeling these beatings are getting worse and worse. Well, a student actually got arrested for trying to spend that fake money (everyone else just got it). So yeah, we just ruined someone's life. YAY~. I sneak the cameras in Kaname, Hanabusa, and Takuma's room and activate them so they stream to my laptop. I also got the interesting idea of what to do with all this ice, so I got Lucy to help me. Everyone else is off trying to annoy their own people.

In so, I skip over to the 'Hanging Tree', where the man was hanged, and tie a noose to one of the higher branches. I nod in satisfaction and Lucy walks towards me with the shock gum, the Zero X Kaname picture, and the ice. "So…" she blinks. "Where are they?"

I giggle and tug her toward the main building, where trials were held. Zero and Kaname are arguing as Yuki tries to calm them down. "Yuki," I address, "Rakisu needs you to help her."

"Oh. Okay!" she giggles, skipping out, not noticing the supplies at all.

"Hey guys!" I glomp Kaname and Zero. "I have some gum for-"

"No."

I scowl at both and pocket it. "Okay…" I hold up the picture. "Come with me or this goes all over campus.

"YOU WOULDN'T!" they hold me by the collar.

I grin and shove the shock gum down their throats (one for Kaname to prevent Kurosei from whining more than necessary). Lucy uses her vectors to drag both into a bathroom and I fill the tub with ice. We strip them naked and stuff them in the bath, both unconscious. "Get Kurosei," I laugh.

She rolls her eyes and goes out. I wait.

**Funny Farm**

"Here~" Kurosei runs in with a camera. Naomi enters from behind with a butcher knife. Lucy follows and Yuki dashes in with a note pad.

"Yay~ I could use this," she chuckles mischievously, writing notes.

"Wakie, wakie~" I shake both the unconscious.

They yawn and open their eyes. Both scream and Lucy pins them down with her vectors. "WHAT THE FCKING HLL!" both turn to me.

"What? We need you're kidneys for the black market," I bash my eyes innocently. "So Naomi?"

Naomi laughs maniacally and raises the knife. Both scream VERY LOUDLY and manage to wriggle Lucy's vectors off, dashing out completely naked. We laugh and Yuki jots down more notes.

**Wednesday**

Tuesday was spent eating half of my candy and I plan to do such on Thursday. Right now everyone in Cabin One is watching the videos Kurosei got, Kaname drinking heavy amounts of soda in utter despair. I skip out, grabbing my Sebastian cow plushy and Ciel. I reach the kitchen, in which I grind a whole bunch of meat and dress myself up (rather professionally) to look like a dead person with guts spewing out and the door opens. I turn to Kurosei, Mika, Rakisu, and Yuki, Naomi and Lucy coating some of the tree in blood. "We got what you were up to," they shrug.

I smile and Yuki handles all the meat, Kurosei taking Ciel and Mika preforming the awesome spell to make Kurosei look like a ghost, somewhat in man's clothing from the nineteenth century. "The ghost of the Hanged Man," Mika smiles.

Rakisu, being the Satanist, drew a symbol on the ground the tree is on with chalk, the middle part supposed to be under the tree (in actuality, it's not). I levitate myself to reach the noose, Lucy tightening it around my neck as I levitate myself. Rakisu, Lucy, and Mika duck behind the nearest tree, all also levitating me so I don't accidentally drop it and actually hang myself. If that happened, this story would come to a tragic end (unless if I became a ghost, then I could haunt Cross Academy with Gary!). I let a few tears spill. "I MISS GARY!" I whine.

"That's a good touch," Yuki admits. "Okay, I'll be filming, my queen!"

"Great~" I hold a thumbs up. "Uh, you sure they'll buy this?"

Kurosei cuts my stomach up a little, so some of my blood soils my plain gray-Tee (I can't fake death in my 'Vacation Tee'!). "There, it should confuse the smell a little. You know, with the tits, I don't think they'll recognize you at first glance."

"Oh shut up," I poke my right boob. "It's so squishy~"

"Shh!" Naomi waves. "Someone's coming!"

She makes a good look out. Kurosei huffs and she hovers (Mika) around the tree, wailing a little like a boy. "Hey Ann, where'd you go off t-" Zero and Hanabusa round the corner. **"AAAAAHHHH! SOMEONE HELP!"**

Kaname rounds the corner and his eyes widen. Nick runs up and throws up on the ground. My little dying conscious tells me this is a little far, but I faked suicide before, remember? Kurosei moans and grips Ciel, raising it and beating it down on Zero's foot. "OWW! &^%* &!" he roars, holding his foot.

"Crp," Rakisu mouths. "It didn't cause blood."

Headmaster and Yagari come, other students also coming. "Everyone go back to your cabins!" Headmaster yells. "You can't see this!"

The students whisper and try to see what's going on, but Yagari shoots up at the sky and roars, "JUST GO BACK!" Nobody dares to question.

Kaname, Zero, Hanabusa, and Nick are still there, Takuma rushing out. "Oh my God…" he covers his mouth. "What…"

"Ann, this isn't funny!" Kaname yells. "Reveal yourself now and you'll be forgiven!"

I almost move, but Zero glares at him, actual t_ears _in his eyes. "WHY WOULD SHE FAKE THIS?" he screams.

_Did everyone forget my fake suicide? _I think. Kurosei flies into the trees, dropping Ciel. I look at my Sebastian Plushy on the ground, cursing myself for dropping it and making this look extremely real. I gulp and try to raise my arms, but their numb for some odd reason. Well, it is cold out. Blood doesn't exactly help with that. "Come on!" Hanabusa rushes towards me. "Wake up!"

Headmaster grabs his arm. "Calm down. She's probably pranking us and not wanting to be detected."

Zero growls. "Again, why? She already knows what happens when she fakes death!"

_Okay, so they're not all completely dumbas-es. _I hear someone scream and bite my lip, Kurosei flying over. "Bad news! THERE'S AN ACTUAL GHOS-ACK!"

Another ghost rams into her. _OH WHEN DID THIS BECOME GHOST BUSTERS! _The ghost faces me with hollow eye-sockets and glares, tightening the noose. "What the fck!" Kaname rushes over. "IT'S REAL?"

_ABOUT TO BE! _I growl and grab the rope, swinging up and kicking the ghost square in the skull, actually hitting it. Huh, so this is what ghosts are like~ AHHH! Rakisu runs up and makes the rope slice in two, making me slam into a branch. "OW!" I scream.

The ghost wails and flies to me. "Ann!" she tosses Ciel up to me.

I grab Ciel and whack the ghost at the side of the face, then down onto the crown of his skull. "DIE YOU FCKING PIECE OF SHT!...AGAIN!" I jump up and whack it in the same spot again.

"DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! 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DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!"

I'm panting at the end of it, Ciel covered in ghost ectoplasm and a newly dug hole maybe going a mile into the ground. "Uh…" I call up. "CAN SOMEONE GET A LADDER?" I hear someone rush off and I smile in utter bliss. "I'm alive~ I'm alive~ Oh yeah! Between the good and bad's where you'll find me~ REACHING FOR-"

"STOP SINGING!" Rakisu and Naomi laugh.

Mika makes me float back up and Kurosei tackles me. "Yay~ Ann's alive~"

I laugh and Zero tackles me next. "Don't do that!" he whacks me upside the head. "People care about you, you know!"

I laugh and hug him. "Alright Mr. Sexy~"

He blushes. "O-Oh shut up."

"What about me?" Hanabusa hugs me off, making me scowl. "I was one of those-AHH!"

I smile proudly as he hugs his damaged foot and I run over to Kaname. "Sorry if I went overboard," I hug him. I shiver as a dark aura sounds from behind me. I let go of Kaname and turn to Kurosei, eyes extremely demonic. "W-We're only friends, Mrs. Kuran…"

"Okay~" she glomps Kaname. "Kaname~"

"Get off."

"Aw~Why~?"

"Get. Off."

Naomi tugs on my sleeve. "Where's Senri?"

"Cabin Number Two," I direct to said cabin.

She nods and picks out a smoke bomb. "NINJA EXIT!" she slams the bomb against the ground, smoke covering the area.

We all cough and Headmaster and Yagari help me over to the nurse's station to patch up some wounds I got just to fake my death.

**Friday**

Tomorrow is our leave, so yesterday I finished my candy and pssed all over a tree just because I felt like it. Today, I feel lazy, so I just get the poison and Marvin. I knock on Hanabusa's head and he wakes up. The cup next to him is filled high with poison. "Take this," I yawn.

"Why?" he sits up.

"I will heal your testacles so you can have wittle vampies."

He gulps it down (pervert) and starts foaming, falling to the ground and twitching. Takuma yawns and rubs one big, green eye. "Ann, are you poisoning people again?"

"Only Hanabusa~" I rock on my feet.

Kaname grumbles in his sleep and jerks the blanket over his head. Hanabusa eventually recovers and stands up. "WHAT THE HL-ACK!"

Kaname's clock is now broken on the floor next to Hanabusa, rubbing the cut the clock gave him when Kaname chucked it. "Can I please sleep?" he grumbles.

"Nope~" I sing. "Mostly because your wife is not with y-"

I jerk around like a deflated balloon released from someone's hand as Kaname tazers me with Marvin. MARVIN HOW COULD YOU! "You were saying?" he lets go of the button.

I snatch it and mutter a few curses before walking out to spend my day with my cousin, my witch friend, my demon friend, my student, Naomi (my odd friend), and my anime friend (or someone who just goes with the flow, I don't know) GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY! **SLAM! **"WHO THE FCK PUT THIS POLE HERE!"

**Review~**

**Next Chappie: Things to Do On the Bus 2~**


	12. Chapter 12: Things To Do On The Bus 2

**Ann: Sorry I had to keep my subjects waiting *gloom* my payer is someone who is easily distracted. **

_Twelve_

_Subtitle: Things To Do On The Bus 2_

What? I like to keep myself entertained on bus-rides! *Pout* That and Linkin wants to waste time. **Hey! **"OH SHUT UP LINKIN IT'S THE TRUTH!"

Naomi taps my shoulder, so I face her. "Stop screaming at your cats for God's sake."

I blink down at my adorable kitties, blinking up at me with little trays in their mouths. I glomp both, hearts swarming my head. "AW~~~~ SO KAWAII!"

A car pulls up, not a bus, and a woman with a ash-covered face exits, laughing nervously. "Yuki-chan!" she waves.

"WHAT DID YOU DO MOM!" Yuki groans.

She holds up what looks like a turkey, what _is _charcoal. "Um…Dinner to go?"

I laugh and Yuki sighs. Nick prevents from stoking her body parts, seeing he'd probably be executed before he got to get a second feel (he'd die by Ciel~). Yuki turns to me and bows. "I washed your plushy," she hands me the plushy that was bloodied. "I hope I see you-"

Hanabusa whistles at us and I sigh, turning. "Hey! Sit next to me on the bus, okay?" he calls.

Yuki's eye twitches and I nod with a smile, her grabbing the rail off Cabin One (my student is perfect~) and starts beating him with it. "HER NAME IS ANN-SAMA! SAY IT BTCH!"

I laugh as Nick slides into Mrs. Hoshino's car. The bus pulls up and another car pulls up. Mika hands me an envelope before entering the sleek black car that I have a sudden urge to obliterate with Barney. *Shrug* who knows. Naomi waves and when I blink, disappears. Eh, she's usually like that (she is a ninja, she told me so). Kurosei comes up next to me and hands me a letter (even though she's at Cross all the time taking pictures of Kaname [nude or not]) and runs into the bus, sitting next to Kaname and hugging him. Rakisu comes over with the bags and we climb in, Lucy coming up with Zero. "Yo," she sits next to us at the back.

**Funny Farm (We are now being taken away)**

"So it's just you two, Kurosei, and me?"

"Technically Kurosei is up there," I point out. I open the letters to get them out of the way.

_ANN,_

_OMG, THAT PRANK WAS HALARIOUS! ALTHOUGH I DID NOT THINK THAT MY HALF BROTHER WOULD SHOW UP AND TRY TO KILL US... YA HE NEVER REALLY DID LIKE ME...SORRY BOUGHT THAT... I AM GOING TO HAVE MY QUEEN TAKE CARE OF THAT THE QUEEN OF THE UNDER WORLD THAT IS (YOUR MY EQUAL WHERE I COME FROM NO OFFINCE)... OH AND SORRY FOR GOING ALL GRR ON YOU EARLY I AM THE POSSESIVE TYPE (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH JELOUES TYPE) OH AND I MADE YOU AN AWESOME SHIRT... *HOLDS UP FORM FITTING BLACK TANK TOP THAT ON THE FRONT SAYS 'MY FOLLOWERS LOVE ME FOR MANY REASONS...' AND ON THE BACK SIDE 'BUT THE MOST LOGICAL REASON IS THAT I AM PHYCO.' AND IT HAS A CUTE LITTLE KITTEN HOLDING A BLOODY AX AWESOME RIGHT! I THINK THIS IS GETTING A LITTLE LONG... SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

_YOUR POSSESIVE AND SLIGHLY INSANE FOLLOWER,_

_-KUROSEI_

I look at my feet to a package and laugh nervously. Raksiu clings to Lucy. "Your friends are creepers," Rakisu tells me.

"Let go," Lucy twitches.

I open the other so I can get to my present~

_Ann,_

_I just want you to know that I will be transfering to your school for a year or two because my stupid head master says I need to stop hiding in my precious cave and meet some new people. This means potions and spells for you! I have made a potion that makes someone vomit excessively for an hour or two and it has about 3 doses. More gender-changes and THE Ciel Phantomhive, Sebastian Michaelis and Pluto will be arriving with me so beware. And before you ask, yes you can borrow Pluto._

_Any anime characters, potions or random crp you need, just ask!_

_Mika xx_

_All hail her majesty Ann!_

"YAY~~~~" I run up and down the walk-through, waving Ciel (yep, I'm using my agenda to my pleasurable advantage~).

"Sit down!" Kaname hisses.

"Why?" I stop next to him, pouting. "You have your wife, LET ME HAVE SOME HAPPINESS!"

He blinks as I resume, staring at the door, probably contemplating suicide (why, he has a loving wife~ [and probably will have kids from rape O-O]). I then trip (stupid untied laces) and crash into my present, something plushy-feeling landing on my face. I blink and Lucy picks it off. "A vampire Plushy?"

"EEP!" I grab it, ripping it's head clean off and skipping over to Hanabusa. "Hanabusa~"

"Yes?" he asks, the seat next to him empty and his nose still bleeding from Yuki's pummeling (I'll invite her to a Halloween Party, I think it will be *looks around* EEExxxcceellleenntttt~).

I tackle him and start stuffing the parts down his throat. "EAT VAMPIRE PLUSHY!"

Akatsuki pries me off as I pout. He keeps spitting the stuffies out! HOW MEAN! *Pout* Akatsuki walks to the back and set me in the seat, walking back to his own. Zero is laughing his as- off as Yuki scolds him. See? SEE? I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO ENJOYS-**SLAP! **"OWIE!" I cover my stinging cheek. "That hurt!"

"You kept shaking me like it was the end of the world!" Lucy snaps.

I blink and beam. "I AM DEVELOPING A SECOND PERSONALITY~~~" I sing. I gasp with happiness and force Rakisu up, hopping onto her back. "SING A LONG~"

"NO!" Richard pries me off our cousin and sits me down (why is he so silent nowadays?). "NO SING ALONG!"

I scowl and force him to sit next to me. "Sit next to your baby sister," I suck my thumb.

"You're fcking fifteen!" he reminds.

"And now I have tits~" I poke them. "I'm serious, I'm going to have to buy more from Mika so they can be HUGE~"

Richard sighs. "You know you could've just waited."

I shake him like he's insane (WHICH HE IS). "I WAS FROZEN AS A THIOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD, DUMMY!"

Rakisu pries me off and sets me in the aisle. "Oh just sing for crying out loud and Richard can come in these things more often."

"What things?" he blinks.

"YAY~~~" I twirl. "Dedicated to Richard!"

"Why, thank you," he smiles.

"Oh fck," Rakisu and Lucy sigh.

_Siblings Suck-_

"Wait what?" Richard gaps.

_By 'I Made This Up In A Second'_

_OOOOHHHH~  
Siblings Suck_

_Siblings Suck_

_They might as well_

_Kiss a duck_

_They tell you what to do all day_

_They refuse to let you play_

_They're the new prison warden_

_They're the new punching bag~_

_OOOHHHHH~~~_

_Siblings Suck_

_Siblings Suck_

_On their lover's cck slash-_

Richard smacks me with a book. "Okay, okay, I _get _it."

I blink and take the book. _Kaname's Journal_. "YAY~~~" I run again, Richard sighing with fatigue and sitting back in the back seat. "THANK YOU KUROSEI AND RICHIE~~" I glomp my _wonderful_ big brother.

"Get off," he places me in my seat. "Either read or eat the candy."

"What candy?" I blink.

He points to the box and I put it in my lap, taking out vampire Plushies (which I start chewing the head of one), candy (which I put in my mouth with the plushy head not yet detached), some letter for Zero (apology which I'll give to him LATER) [and forget], ketchup, a ghost repel charm (with a note telling me ghosts have been stalking me because of the Demon Stone), and an order for a truck to come to Cross with healing ointment (uh…sometimes I miss the pain for some reason) [SOMEONE SLIPPED ME CRACK, DIDN'T THEY!]. I read a passage of Kaname's journal to myself, seeing I'm not _that _cruel.

_Entry: Yuki's seventh birthday_

_Yuki turned seven today. It was refreshing to watch her smile and play a little. Then she brought a butterfly into the house. I mean jeez…I TRIED, honestly TRIED to keep up a good front, but when I finally got in the car to go back, I had to cover my head with a paper bag so I could scream with somewhat dignity. _

I'm laughing. I mean Yuki was evil when she was little! I finally manage to bite the head off the body and the body lands on the ground, Lucy sighing and taking the ketchup bottle. "What's this for?" she wonders.

"Probably su-Oh now I get it. Hey Lucy, can you…" I whisper my plan to her, Rakisu and Richard having earplugs to zone away from me.

Lucy sighs and walks up a little, sitting next to Zero. Before he can ask, she simply says my name and hands him a…letter? I search my body and curse. She gave him the letter! That sneaky btch! I love her~ Soon enough, Lucy walks back and hands me the ketchup. "Sorry, but nah," she sits. "you can levitate, and I need," she yawns, "sleep."

"Oh, so you have time to ruin my rep with Zero, but not enough to humiliate Ruka?" I snap.

"Yep."

I sigh and make the bottle levitate, moving it quickly and then…"AH!"

Hanabusa laughs. "Ruka, I guess you're time of the month came!"

"SHUT UP!" Ruka stomps over, slapping him. "IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

Lucy and I are laughing, apparently THAT waking her up, and so is Richard, Rakisu, and Kurosei, who's snapping pictures. Ruka screams in frustration and talks to the Headmaster, pointing at Kurosei. I giggle mischievously and hug Lucy. "Yay~"

"Get off," she picks my arms off.

I scowl and eat more candy, decapitating a plushy by ripping it's head off and hugging my Sebastian-Cow plushy (IT'S CUTE!). Eventually I make everyone hide either on the racks, in their luggage, or under their seats when I go up to the front and shred it with Ciel.

**Funny Farm~~ (School isn't that funny though…)**

"AH!" I hug the Girls' Dorms door. "HOME~"

"This isn't your home," Yuki reminds, a sweat-drop appearing. "I'm a little disappointed Lucy had to leave."

I nod. "Me to."

Rakisu enters and I skip after her. We eventually reach Dorm 666 together, just the two of us, and I swing the door open, eyes closed. "HELLO SEBASTIAN! I'M BA-"

"Holy fck."

I blink and gasp, dropping everything. Our room…

…**everything is burned and destroyed.**


	13. Chapter 13

_Thirteen_

I stare at all the rummage. My weapons…my bed…Rakisu's candles…EVERYTHING. I growl and stomp out, grabbing Ciel and next thing you know, every Day Class btch is out in front of the Dorms (btch meaning girls). "WHO SET FCKING DORM 666 ON FIRE? HUH?" I smash a wall down with Ciel. "NOT COOL!"

Zero comes up along with the Day Class Guy's Dorm President. "We heard crashing and sc-Oh Ann."

Okay, okay, so I had to drag everyone out while they were bleeding so what? THEY BURNED DOWN THE MOST AWESOME DORM EVER! At least I _think_…Well there's no time to investigate! "Someone burned down my dorm!" I complain. I take Zero by the shoulders and shake him. "I WANT THE BTCH RESPONSIBLE BURNED AT THE DMN POTATO FRYER!"

Zero blinks and sighs. "We don't _have _a potato fryer."

"I DON'T CARE! I WANT THEM BURNED ALIVE, THEIR GUTS EATEN BY SNAKES, AND THEIR EYES FED TO THE TERROR-FUR-BALLS THAT ARE MY KITTY MINIONS!" I hold up Angel Fluff and Lucifer the Death Demon. I hug Zero then. "THOSE GIRLS ARE MEAN TO ME!"

He blushes and pats my head. Yuki sighs and faces the girls. "Fess up now or forever be doomed to be murdered slowly by Ann-sama without complaint!"

I glomp Yuki. "Yuki~"

She laughs nervously and pats my head. "Alright Ann-sama…"

"She's psychotic!" a girl screams.

"She needs to be taught a lesson!"

"She needs to be **expelled **that's what."

"SO YOU BURN DOWN OUR DMN MOTHER FCKING DORM?" Rakisu shrieks, a tree exploding. "I LOVED THAT DORM LIKE IT WAS MY BRO, YOU BUNCH OF CRPPY AS-WIPES!"

"Ew…" Zero, Yuki, and I cringe.

Rakisu grabs Ciel ("Hey!") and wields it, glaring. "If someone doesn't come up now and fess the fck up…" she laughs maniacally, "ALL OF YOUR WOMBS WILL PAY!"

"It was me!" EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. COMES. UP. "Me, me, me! Okay, NO WOMB SMASHING!"

Rakisu nods curtly and returns Ciel to my hands. "That's what I _thought_. Come on Ann, I think the Moon Dorms have some spare room."

We walk to the dorms as I bow down to my _awesome _couz.

**Funny Farm**

"So…" Kaname blinks at us. "They burned your dorm to a crisp?" We nod **once again**. He sighs and steps out of the way of the door. "Just please don't test our patience," he shuts the door. "Otherwise we'll be burning _you _ourselves."

"Not to worry~" I rock on my feet. "Today, I'm going to burn **them!**"

"No, you're not," he gently pushes me forward. "If you do, I'll have to kill you myself."

"You're too scared to~" I mock.

He sighs and turns to Rakisu. "Is she always like this?"

"Crazy? Yes," Rakisu nods, reading something called _Nancy Drew_. Who wants to read something about what some chick name Nancy drew? I bet she drew a rabbit. Yep. It's something that can go away quickly because someone was hungry (*cough* me *cough*). "Don't worry, I'm only going to let her torture the girls."

Kaname sighs and Hanabusa comes up, starry hearts for eyes. "Is Ann staying with us?" he asks.

Kaname slumps with gloom. "Temporarily. I expect-"

"YAY~ AKATSUKI!" he runs off. ""GUESS WHAT?"

Kaname motions shooting himself and keeps walking. Again, why? He has a-_**FLASH!**_ "OW MY EYES!" I run around.

"DMN IT!" Kurosei curses outside the window. "KANAME, MY LOVE, STOP MOVING AROUND!"

Rakisu just walks past me as I hold my aching eye balls.

**Funny Farm**

So, after dishing out every single ounce of Blackmail and dirt I have on everyone I have it on, I'm free to torture the girls~ (Sorry, but that includes Yuki and Kaname). Let's just say Kaname was so astounded by the amount of dirt I fed him about himself he just nodded and did paper work. Of course, most of the Night Class I don't HAVE dirt on, so I have Rakisu investigating that. As Lucifer the Death Demon and Angel Fluff wriggle in my arms (the spike collar on Lucifer the Death Demon cutting me a few times), I walk into the class of Day time, sitting in the chair next to a rather paled Zero. "Good morning~" I sit next to him, holding Lucifer the Death Demon away before she starts clawing his wee-wee off (uh, something that happened earlier, that's all you need to know).

"Good…morning," he blinks, holding his head.

"Something wrong?"

"Yeah, the fact that you had my _journal_."

"Diary."

"Journal."

"Diary."

"Journal!"

"Diary that I memorized~"

"Oh fck it, you win."

"Yay~" I hug him. "I wi-AH! LUCY NO!"

**Painful Funny Farm**

All the students are in the room, but the teacher lacks. Good, like I paid him to~ I stand up, Zero raising a brow. "What are you doing?" Yuki mouths.

I skip up to the front, Angel Fluff and Lucifer the Death Demon racing after. "Well, since the teacher is late, I'LL be teaching this class~"

The girls look horrified as most of the boys chuckle. Zero just shakes his head and slams it on the desk. "Why?" a girl mutters.

"Because the teacher is late, btch, and I'm doing him a favor, ho. Now let me teach otherwise I'll tell a nice tiny tale about your ex-boyfriend!" The girl is silent. "Thank you. Now, let's go onto the topic of…" I lock all the doors with levitating keys, that of which they don't note. "WHY. NOT. TO. BURN. SOMEONE'S. DORM. DOWN. I have come to the understanding that every girl hath gone and burned it down, in the day of course. So, I'd like to ask you what you have done and why you shouldn't have done it. Consequences will be Rated M and involve these wonderful gentleman," I wave my hand around the room. "So, Beet."

Beet, Richard's girlfriend, stands, head a little low. "I just took out the scythe and put it in Yuki's room."

I blink and hug her. "THANK YOU~~~~~"

She blinks and giggles a little. "You're welcome."

"Beet and Yuki are dismissed. Please sit at the front of the room and enjoy my torturing~"

They laugh nervously and go up in front of the board, watching as I go across the first row. Eventually, five girls are bleeding to death by the boys (them crying like pansies) and the rest are clinging to one another at the front, Yuki and Beet sighing and staying far away from them. "Can we go now?" a girl limps up, her head also bleeding harshly.

"Nah~ I have to go. Zero, boys, Yuki, and Beet get to go out while everyone else stays locked up and watch five of their friends die slowly and **painfully**. Love you all~"

I skip out the door and knock out anyone who tries to escape but those I told they could. "Eh, exactly why are you doing this?" Beet tugs my sleeve.

I turn to her with a maniac smile. "Two things. One-It wasn't nice of them to burn down the dorm. Two-**nobody fcks with the future queen!**"

**Funny Farm**

Night falls and it's time to annoy at least two vampires. Well, I already pssed off the class by locking the girls inside the classroom. As substitute, we have class outside, which I find relaxing. Rima reads on a tree-branch next to Senri. Ruka watches Kaname from afar. Kurosei snaps pictures of Kaname as his eye twitches towards the page of a book. Hanabusa is picking flowers (why, I'd rather not know). Zero is leaning against the tree next to me as Yuki circles the area constantly, sometimes goofing off and marching like a robot. Rakisu is reading a folder as I decapitate vampire plushy toys and eat my candy, my eyes wide and focused. I'm also counting for all the fcking missed morals that I should have every chappie. Sorry, but I've just not been focused lately. Why? I think it's the candy and the molester-appearing demon butlers under my bed.

Richard walks up, handing me a letter. "For you."

I take it with happiness (that or 'I'm cracked' joy) and read it, seeing it's from Mika~

_Ann,_

_Why is your room destroyed, Ann? Why? I liked your room. I will be seeing you soon then and hope for more stuffs! (The military is onto me! I can't get anything over now, but hope for stuff soon! I should lose them by the time my stupid head master sends me!)_

_Any anime characters, potions or random crp you need, just ask!_

_Mika xx_

_All hail her majesty Ann!_

_Mika,_

_My room is destroyed because of the Day Class btches and ho's. I'm glad you liked it, and that is why I plan to re-build it more demonic-like and with a special closet for my babies~ (the weapons and the ones I plan to get from raping Zero XD). GET THAT STUPID HEADMASTER OF YOURS TO GET YOU OVER HERE! I wanna see Sebby and Ciel-ie and PUPPY! (Hehe, and you of course)._

_See you soon my follower~_

_Ann 'Demon Who Needs To Cut Sugar and Unicorns' Siam~_

_P.S: Is it bad if I'm seeing rainbows?_

I fall back in a black-out.

**~Funny Farm~**

I like that. It shows waviness~. ~~~~WAVE BTCH WAVE! I yawn and wake up to unfriendly flash-lights. "Yo. Wake up."

I push the light away to Senri's annoying Emo face. I mean WHAT ANNOYS THIS SEXY BSTARD! I flick his forehead. Nothing. I grab his shoulders and shake him. "WHAT ANNOYS YOU, YOU EMOTIONLESS DEMENTOR!"

"Hey, calm down!" Takuma pins my arms to the ground.

I kick his gut. "_RAPEST!"_

"Too much candy," Richard tells Kaname.

"**THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH~**" I fly up, tackling Richard. "Nope~ _NOT EVEN WITH TASERING!"_

"WHOA WHAT?"

I tase my wonderful older brother and Zero yanks me off. "CALM DOWN!" he yells.

I kiss him, using my tongue (ha~), and pull back, saliva all over my lips. "MAKE ME SEX GOD!"

I run around the trees screaming 'Dora shall die painfully' as he blinks, my saliva going down his chin. Yuki laughs and Rakisu waves a vampire plushy. "Calm down and-"

I bite her hand, making her yelp, and I snatch the plushy, gutting out it's stuffing with William. "**DIE! DIE! DIE!** _MUHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!_" I hug my adorable kitties and shove their fur in my face. "SO FLUFFY~"

Everyone decides to keep a yard radius away from me as I hug and fawn over my two adorable little kittens. Richard sighs and picks me up by the under arms, dragging me off. "Come on," he sighs.

I pout. "Meanie."

"Says the person who nearly bit our cousin's hand off."

"It's only bleeding severely!" I snap.

He rolls his eyes as Lucifer the Death Demon and Angel Fluff pounce into my lap, curling up into two little white and black fluff balls and purring to sleep, their purrs making me sleep.

**~Funny Farm~**

I yawn once again and wake up to my charcoaled bed. I sit up to see Rakisu digging into the abandoned dorm to the left. "Oh, hey," she waves. "I'm making an expansion~"

"That's nice," I hold my aching head. "Man, I feel like I drank my as- off…"

"Well, you still have 99% of the candy left, so eat one fraction of a percent at a time, kiddo."

"We're in the same grade."

"Doesn't mean I'm sixteen in appearance," she shrugs.

I poke my boobs once, admiring how the Tit Angel hath allowed me to keep them, and skip out, waving to traumatized Day Class Girls as I make my way outside. In the trees, I find Zero gently kicking my ball pit. "Hey," I pout, walking over. "Don't kick Bob."

"Bob?" he turns to me, hands in his pockets.

"Bob the Ball Pit," I jump in, black and red plastic balls flying up and clonking me on the head. "So, what brings you to my ball pit area?"

He blushes a little. "Um…I actually came to talk to you…you see…I-"

Hanabusa runs up, those flowers in hand. "Ann! Ann! I have something to tell you!"

"You've realized you're gay?" I hope.

He stands in front of me, offering the flowers. "Nope~…

"…I love you~"

And I pass out.

**Moral: I passed out a lot today.**

**Review~**

**HOLY SHT HANABUSA TOLD ME HE LOVED ME! *rocking on the ground* He has to be gender confused…He has to be gender confused…**


	14. Chapter 14

_Fourteen_

I blink at the ceiling, plain as ever, the next day. Rakisu is still making the expansion and I blink. Richard enters (seeing I gave him a key for being my older brother) with four letters, four human-sized packages, and other packages that are somewhat smaller. "Here," he sets the letters on my face and the packages next to the bed. He sighs as I still refuse to breathe. "She's _still_ traumatized?"

"What did you expect?" Rakisu stops Ciel from obliterating another portion of the wall. "It's _Hanabusa Aido_ that confessed his love, not someone like James Marsden or Johnny Depp."

"JACK SPARROW~~" I dance around.

"That did it," Richard chuckles. "Nothing like American actors to get her peppy."

I grab the letters and let Lucifer the Death Demon to open them with her adorable little fangs. I drop the letters and glomp her, eyes closed and hearts floating around my head. "KAWAII~~~~" (Cute).

"Where did all these hearts come from?" Rakisu smashes them with Ciel the Cleaver.

They all decide to attack her as I'm completely fawning over my adorable kitty-minions that will always have a place in my future court~ Richard hands me the letters and Angel Fluff and Fluffy (Lucifer the Death Demon) curl up in my lap as I read.

_Ann-sama,_

_Would you like me to bring supplies for the room when I visit to help rebuild? _

_-Your eternally faithful and always available to help with anything follower and worshiper,_

_Yuki Hoshino_

_Yuki,_

_A security system, vampire plushy toys, and A LOT OF CATS. _

_Love You~_

_Ann Siam~_

NEXT ON 'PSYCHOTIC FANMAIL!' With your favorite host-"Where did the talk show stage come from?-!" Richard yells.

I blink to see Rakisu with a camera and cards with everything I'm saying. I shrug on a blood-red couch and take up the next letter (my thoughts gladly not recorded otherwise I'd have to kill it).

_ANN-_

_WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO KILL HANABUSA FOR YOU? WE ALL KNOW YOU HAVE A THING FOR ZERO SO IT MAKE SINCE TO REMOVE AN OBSTICAL, MOST LIKALLY TO STALK YOU... DID I FORGET TO METION HOW CUTE YOUR FUR BALLS ARE? I THINK I DID... ANYWAY THEY ARE ABORABLE! DEATH DEMON ACTS JUST LIKE MY CAT ALWAYS TRYING TO CLAW SOMEONE! THEY WOULD GET ALONG SO WELL! SORRY ABOUT THE FLASH..._

_YOUR MENTALLY INSANE FOLLOWER,_

_KUROSEI_

Preferable, but I don't have a thing for Zero. *Defiant*. If I did, he'd already be raped. *Suggestive*. "RAKISU CUT IT OUT WITH THE CARDS!" She blinks as she uses her powers and then holds up (sorry this isn't censored [not really, but Linkin makes me say it]) *Bitchy*.

I dig through her package first (much to the protest of Rakisu and her fcking cards) and I take out blackmail for the Night Class (yay~), a potato friar which I immediately run out and zip to Zero's dorm. He answers rubbing an eye. "Whaaatt?" he complains.

I shove the potato friar in his face. "HA! WE DO HAVE ONE YOU SEXY BSTARD!"

He just blinks as I jump out the nearest window and zip back to my dorm with glass in my skin. Richard tosses me Zero's new diary (I don't care what he says). "Enjoy," Richard sits on my bed.

"Yay~" I kiss the cover. "Now I can read how he rapes people!"

"ANN!" Rakisu smacks me with the new refrigerator.

"What?" I pout, rubbing the bump on my head. "I WANT TO BE HIS NEXT-"

**~Funny Farm~**

Again with the fcking duct-tape-mummifying. I'm serious, WHAT'S WITH TAPING THE EARS PEOPLE! Richard and Rakisu set out a laptop, some cameras (Hanabusa and Akatsuki, you btches are next), vampire plushy toys that give me the strength to break free, and (as I decapitate said toys) Day Class toys that I _also _work on decapitating. Richard forces William and a paper into my hands so I can write a letter back.

_Kurosei,_

_It's tempting, but I think I'll screw with him for a bit~ Plus, I feel nothing for Zero. Nope. I just annoy him (don't listen to Rakisu or her cards, THEY LIE!). If Aido does stalk me, then I'll kill him myself, thank you very much. And also, yes, my fur balls are adorable and they should get together some time._

_Your Leader and Forever Friend (at least I hope…)_

_Ann 'Demon Gone Out Of Hand' Siam_

_P.S-Thanks for the Potato friar, Cross Academy needed one._

And then there's one from Mika~

_Ann,_

_I am arriving and my sexy Sebastian, adorable Ciel and Pluto are arriving with me! I have recently found assassins to help me with... um... things and they are teaching me Italin! Yay! Also they are sexy and you know how much of a sucker I am for sexy assassins and demons! (And sometimes vampires ;P)_

_Any anime characters, potions or random crp you need, just ask!_

_Mika xx_

_All hail her majesty Ann!_

_P.S. I don't think it is bad if you see rainbows ;P_

I look around for a package from Mika. "Aw, nothing? Well, at least she's-"

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" a British accent roars.

We blink and turn to the smallest human-sized box (around my height) that starts to wobble back and forth. I use Sebastian the Scythe to cut it open and…

"Ciel!" Rakisu tackles him. "OH HE'S SO CUTE~~~ CAN WE KEEP HIM RICHARD?"

Richard blinks as Ciel's face goes red. "Excuse me," he leans a little, "but are you, per chance, kidnapped by a witch?"

Ciel Phantomhive points to the box that's black with some upside-down star on it. "Open that."

"But that has Sebastian," I hide behind Rakisu.

"Oh how can you tell?"

Richard, Rakisu, and I sweat-drop. "It's the tallest one."

Ciel starts kicking in Rakisu's grasp. "I don't care! OPEN IT!"

"Nah~" I sing, opening the silver one with black lines and Mika falls out in a sea of Styrofoam. "MIKA!" I glomp her.

"Hello," she blinks. "Pluto~"

Pluto bursts out of the one with a dog biscuit and he tackles me (yes, while naked) and giving me doggie kisses. Of course Angel Fluff and Lucifer attack him and I open Sebastian's box with Sebastian. Sebastian steps out and kindly plucks Ciel away from Rakisu. "Hello my ladies," he bows.

"Sebastian," I blink at the animal-war scene, "can you help my kitties?"

He immediately sets Ciel to his own two feet and helps right away, fawning over my cats. I dead-pan soon enough and Fluffy claws his face once before rushing over to me, curling up into a little black ball over my foot. Angel Fluff scampers over as well, also curling into a ball at my feet. So fuzzy~ "Thank you Mika~" I hold out my arms, seeing I can't move with my minions on my feet.

"You're welcome," she hugs me from a distance to not step on my cats.

"Well," Richard blinks, picking up the last note. "This is from a…Jessi."

"NEW FOLLOWER!" I squeeze Mika tightly.

"ACK! MY SPLEEN!" she winces.

"What's a spleen?" Rakisu sighs, picking up both Ciel's and obliterating the wall with the cleaver, letting the kid watch.

"Some organ," Richard hands me the note.

_Dear Ann the High and Mighty,_

_I'm sending several things, as I am a new follower of our Queen Ann. I feel that if I do not send enough than I am not worthy to be a follower. First is a pair of matching stun guns (for whatever or whoever you feel is in need of a good shocking since it has been a while), two new cameras and a laptop to monitor them. 25 pounds of chocolate fudge, an unlimited-credit gift card any candy store of your choosing, three cans of both red and black paint (for your renovations) and finally a potion mixing set... I know how you love your potions... don't worry I shredded the instruction manual, but if you go on the internet there are several different potion making websites. I don't want to take any more of our Great and High Leader: Queen Ann's time. So Goodbye!_

_Contact me for any of your dangerous or deadly needs,_

_Jessi_

I pick up her package and take out the said items. I label the stun guns 'Tweedle-Dee' and 'Tweedle-Dum' for the humor purposes and pocket them with Marvin. I set the laptop on the other one and pile the cameras with the present pile (these will be for Zero once more). I just pray they don't catch his 'meat' again *shudder*. *Lying*. "RAKISU I TOLD YOU TO CUT IT OUT!" I whine as she holds up the *Lying* card.

"You did, I just didn't listen," she shrugs.

I stick out my tongue and resume, eating some of the fudge, pocketing the credit gift card, the cans I sit on the ground next to my kitties who have brushes in their mouths, and the potion mixing set I place on my nightstand so I can get a table and then put it there. Also, some see-through walls so it looks like we have a mini-lab! Also, I'm glad none of you send instruction manuals, because I just use them as toilet paper anyways~

**~~Funny Farm~~**

Today's winners for having the honor of being used for torture are:

_Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum_

_Pluto_

_Cameras_

_Potato Friar_

Give a round of applause people~ (Do It.) *Round of applause here* Thank you, thank you!…Now stop. Now as Pluto follows (yes, he is temporarily on a leash), I walk up to the Moon Dorms and Hanabusa opens the door. "Hello Ann! Eh, who's this?" he points to naked Pluto.

"Pluto~" I sing. "He's part puppy!"

He smiles. "Nice. Anyways, so have you thought about my confession?"

"Nope and I don't plan to," I cheer, walking in. "I just came to talk to Kaname."

He sighs, gloomy. "Alright…"

He leads me to Kaname's dorm and knocks. "Come in," Kaname's voice yawns. Hanabusa opens the door and I walk in, Pluto following. Kaname turns and jumps, scrambling. "Oh sht!" he ducks under the table. "What is it?" he pulls a helmet over his head.

"You're nice," I pout. "Anyways, I was wondering if you knew anyone who'd like fried potatoes."

He looks up from under the table, raising a brow. "…_What?"_

"Fried potatoes," I make the levitating potato friar come up.

He sighs. "Oh yeah, yeah, just tase Hanabusa already and get out."

"What?" Hanabusa squeaks.

I jab both Tweedle Dum and Dee into Hanabusa's ribs and push the buttons, making him jerk. I smile as he falls to the ground, motionless and bow. "Thank you Kana~-PLUTO NO!"

**~~Funny Wavy Loopy Farm~~~**

"You. Btch," Kaname glares at me while holding an ice pack to his head as Kurosei worries over him.

"Not my fault you had bacon in your pocket!" I pout. "And it's your fault he's all tired now! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO STEAL THE SAUSAGE IN THE KITCHEN? **HUH?"**

Kaname sighs and waves me off. I stomp out while imitating his wave while mouthing like a snot-nosed brat that he is. "I can see you," he mutters.

"GOOD!" I snap. "GOOD FOR NOTHING, EXCEPT KUROSEI'S PLEASURE, DCK!"

I stomp off to Akatsuki's and Hanabusa's dorm. Akatsuki is reading his text book and he looks up at me as I shove a camera into the wall, covering up the hole with plaster and poking a hole with a needle. "What are you doing?" he yawns.

"Putting cameras into the walls to annoy Hanabusa," I turn. "Why?"

He shrugs. "So, he confessed, huh?"

"Yep."

"…Well-"

"If you confess, consider your ding-a-ling bye-bye, got that?"

He's silent as I stuff the rest of the cameras labeled 'Hanabusa' in well-located places and then I simply jump out the window, using the amulets on my person to make the wind settle me down gently. As a bush catches to flames due to my frustration, Pluto runs after me and I finally ditch him with Sebastian the butler that's fawning over my kitty minions. At Zero's dorm, I sneak it everywhere that should not catch even a mere _glimpse _of his bonk-da-donk and leave a very weird note.

'_I love you, big Pen**! I want to rape you and have every single illegal baby that comes out of my *******! Meet me under the tree at three~'_

_-Love_

_Mary Minkles_

**~~Funny Farm~~**

"What's with the ring?" Rakisu stops painting the two-dorm sized room.

"Oh," I hold it up, showing the numerous 'Hello! My name is-' tags. "It's a tag of my personas."

I flip them to show each persona.

_Hello! My name is __**Ann Siam!**_

_Hello! My name is __**Sebassy!**_

_Hello! My name is __**Mary Minkles!**_

_Hello! My name is __**Samurai Panthy!**_

_Hello! My name is __**Jason Dos!**_

_Hello! My name is __**Chef Éclair!**_

"Chef Éclair?" she laughs. "Who the fck is that?"

I make my Chef Éclair get-up float up and quickly change, sticking on the mustache and frowning at my new-boobs. "These don't help, but *French accent to the worst extent* _Chef Éclair at your Service!"_

"Oh fck you're the guy who made my last birthday cake…" she sighs. "Well, go away because I'd like to talk to my cousin."

Chef Éclair nods and I take off the costume. She falls off. "What?" I ask.

"PUT SOME CLOTHES ON YOU NUDIST!"

**Moral: Always have something under costumes if you plan to take them off fast.**

**Review~**


	15. Chapter 15

_Fifteon_

And I'm back to having Blart set up the chapter numbers. They were so nice before *gloom*. "Why are you sulking?" Rakisu yawns, kicking the boxes and making the notes float to the ground like cloud unicorns.

"Because you forced that little mother fcker of a chapter header putter-upper to come back," I shrink. "Oh! I think I still have some skin-"

"No," she states. "I got rid of that."

"Let me guess, every girl who tried to get _air _on 'him'?"

She blushes. "Oh shut up and open the packages."

I giggle with victory and open the first note. From Night-san~ YAY~~~~~~~

_Dear Queen of all the world, Ann_

_I am very sorry I haven't sent any letters, I thank you for bringing me on your loving field trip, it was indeed fun._

_I shall send anything you ask! Also, do you need more candy? It appears you have a lot but just in-case!_

_Your odd follower whose real name shall not be known, Night_

Okay, no offense, but do people _have _to ask if they should send candy? Candy is candy, THERE'S NEVER TOO MUCH! Didn't I prove that two chapters ago? *Checks* Yes, yes I did. So send if you will, seeing it helps with _**SOMEONE'S **_distraction (*cough, cough*Linkin*cough, cough*). Yes, every delay is my fcking payer's fault. I'M INNOCENT I TELL-"STOP SHAKING ME!" Rakisu snaps.

I blink and sigh. "Is that going to stop?"

"Probably when it's as dead as a horse on Tuesday's," she shrugs.

"You got that from 'him'."

She shoves the next note and box (from Mika for whatever reason) into my chest. "Oh cork it and get to work."

I roll my eyes. "Yes o**h high and mighty jack as-."**

She flips me off and walks over to the paint, resuming the paint job. May I say it's looking quite nice? The ball pit in in the far left corner of the rectangle we made and the upside-star is now on the wall with the candles nailed to said wall at its points. I'm serious, she used to watch _Sesame Street_! **WHAT THE HLL DID THAT SHOW DO TO HER?-!-? **I sigh and open the letter.

_Ann,_

_I am sorry about ruining your get-up, but it can't be helped anymore. Now that I have no more military on my imaginary tail, I would like to present the personality switch! If two people drink this potion their personalities will be switched around for an indefinite amount of time! Yay! I will probably be in the night class due to my irrational fear of the sun and I will probably still spend most of my time drawing pictures of people (I don't know why, but I like drawing people being killed by me!). Oh yeah, I have a candy machine like the ones that you put your coins in and then gumballs fall out. Yum __

_Any anime characters, potions or random crp you need, just ask!_

_Mika xx_

_All hail her majesty Ann!_

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what? WHY DIDN'T SHE SAY THIS BEFORE! I rush out. "OPEN THE OTHER!" I fight on my uniform as I run and constantly trip down the hall. "I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!"

**~~Funny Farm~~**

"**ARE YOU FCKING KIDDING ME?-!"** 'Blart' shakes my shoulders.

"Oh come on!" I pout. "Same basic build, same natural hair, I even told your wife and kids that I was doing this!"

'Blart' (actually the guy who does my chapter titles correctly) sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Okay, okay, but only because I'd rather not see what else you have up your sleeve."

The actual Blart is staring into his pants. "Uh, Ann?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do I get the small Pen**?" he yawns.

"Because he had one, but now he has a bigger one, so let's get on with this so I can see-"

"Hey!" Rakisu runs in. "An-WHAT THE FCK DID YOU DO?-!"

**~~Funny Farm~~**

_ANN_

_BUT I WANT TO KILL HANABUSA! HE TRYIES TO KEEP MY KANAME AWAY FROM ME! I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY HE TRYIES TO FREEZE ME WHEN KANAME RUNS AWAY SCREAMING 'HELP ME HELP ME'?_

_OHHH AND I AM BRINGING POSINOUS RAINDROP WITH ME FROM THE UNDER WORLD WHEN I VISIT THIS WEEKEND! ISANT SHE ADORABLE! (BLACK AND GRAY TADDY WITH A WHITE UNDER BELLY AND CHEAST, HAWK YELLOW EYES AND EARS THAT ARE A LITTLE OUT OF PROPORTION) YOU CAN CALL HER RAIN FOR SHORT! BEWARE SHE WLL ATTACK ANYONE NOT LABLED AS A FRIEND BUT YOU ARE LABLED A FRIEND (YOU, AKATSUKI, KANAME, YUKI AND THE RESTR OF YOUR FOLLOWERS)! AND STOP BEING IN DENILE WE (BEING YOUR FOLLOWERS) ALL KNOW THAT YOU ARE SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH HIM! IT IS VERY OBVIOUS THE WAY YOU ACT AROUND HIM SAYS IT ALL! AND OF COURSE YOUR MY FRIEND ONLY A TRUE FRIEND SENDS HER FRIEND GUM THAT SHOCKS PEOPLE HALF TO DEATH *BLINKS INNOCENTALLY* OHH AND THIS MESSAGE IN ALMOST AN ENTIRE THOUSAND CHARACTERS! AWESOME RIGHT! 15 NOW! THIS IS MY LONGEST LETTER YET AND AS OF THIS NUMBER 1 -8949! OH AND UNLIKE JESSI I HAVE NO PROBLEM TAKING UP YOUR TIME! LOL... OH AND A BOUT THE DRESS FROM A LONGGGG TIME AGO IT INHASEDYOUR ABILITES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR MIND WHICH MEANS THAT NOT ONLY IS YOUR TELEKINESIS STRONGER BUT YOU CAN PROBLOLY READ AND CONTROL MINDS AND AHM CHANGE THIER MEMORIES..._

_YOUR MENTALLY UNSTABLE FOLLOWER, FRIEND, AND EVIL SCIENTIST (DONT KNOW WHERE THAT CAME FROM)_

_KUROSEI_

"Really?" I beam. I drop the note and go through everything. "DRESS! DRESS! WHERE ARE Y-"

"It burned, remember?" Rakisu opens the box.

I pout. "Man…" I walk over to the box and take out my presents while muttering, "I do not like Zero."

I got a sack of potatoes, three human sized boxes (which Rakisu just throws right out :[), a ring that (on note) _repels vampire powers_, shock gum, pepper spray, cameras, cursed knives (which Rakisu again takes away), and throwing stars (which she eats, spitting up blood every time she talks). After she's done eating or tossing out several gifts, I'm left with everything on that current list that wasn't taken or eaten, all my candy, the friar, the blackmail, the diary, the laptops, my babies (the weapons with names), Sebastian, Ciel, and…dmn that's it. Time to blow it all~

**~~Funny Farm~~**

I prod at the potato friar with my stabby-thingy and Richard waves the sign, sighing. "Fried potatoes!" Rakisu calls. "Get your fried potatoes right here!"

Beet walks by and giggles, rushing over and hugging Richard. "Aw~ You're so nice to your sister~" she coons.

Richard blushes and waves the sign a little faster. It now reads:

**Ann's Random Crp**

**At least a buck.**

_**(Please, my girlfriend likes it when I do this!)-Richard Siam.**_

I have the ring on, so the Night Class can't do _squat._ The laptop is on and yes, Hanabusa is de-robing. Some girls get to watch at $5 per clothing article, but the laptop with the Zero cameras are offline. Yep. He found them again and this picture was of his _oh-so-wonderful butt crack. _I swear these are the cameras pedophiles use (-_-). I pat my chef's hat and see Hanabusa come up. "Excuse me, but what's this?" he asks.

"Fried potatoes," Rakisu blinks. "Want one?"

"Who made them?"

"Me," I wave, "and Fred."

Dark aura surrounds him. **"Who the fck is Fred?"**

I sigh and stomp over, shoving shock gum down his throat and in his ears. "A POTATO FRIAR!" I mouth to mock him, returning to my frying.

"ANN!"

"Crp…" I turn to Zero holding bits and pieces of the cameras. Confirmed. Dmn, just when I wasted all of that shock gum! "Y-Yes?"

He slams the crumpled bits onto the table I put my fried potatoes on (that and the cash register). "If I find any more cameras, I swear you're getting a-"

"Bullet to the head?" I smile, a little sad. I mean JEEZ. Can't the douche take a joke?

He blinks, confused. "…No. Suspension."

"You know, expect some tonight because Mary likes you."

He laughs. "She's just another one of your personas."

I shake my head and drop a whole bunch of fake documents that were forged to look real (I asked Sebastian~). "Nope. Real as heck. Comes from America and has several restraining orders."

He gulps and nods. "Uh…thanks."

He walks off, but I chuck a potato at his head first. He catches it though. Fck. Rakisu collects a dollar from him and he leaves eating the potato I slaved over and failed to even splatter it. I'M AN EPIC FAIL OF A QUEEN! "Ah!" Beet panics, letting go of Richard. "Why is Ann crying?"

**~~Funny Farm~~**

**Supplies: Pepper Spray, Blackmail, Sebastian Michaelis, ring that repels vampire powers (if you don't have the last two, BYE-BYE)**

Eh, I'm thinking of bringing this back. Great idea, right? Anyways, so yeah, this is red level FATAL if you don't have a plan before hand, about five back-up plans, and every single thing on the list. Why?

I'M GONNA PSS OFF KANAME UNTIL HE SLAUGHTERS SOMEONE!

I mean come on, that's e_veryone's _life goal, isn't it? I follow Akatsuki in front of Kaname's dorm and I raise my hand to knock, waiting…"Are you going to knock or-"

_**SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! **_Imagine that, like, twenty times faster and five times louder, that's what my kicking against his door is like (totally freaked Akatsuki out :P). Kaname swings the door open and I kick him in the shin by t_otal _accident (I swear it on the future edited Bible [I just know Rakisu's going to take advantage of her future position in my-] OFF TOPIC! AHHH! "Sorry!" I squeak.

He glares, teeth grit. Dear God, who killed his granny? "What?" he hisses.

I gulp. Okay, make that **fifteen **back-ups plans (can you imagine I have twenty more in my head right this second?). "Uh…Um…Eak…" I tug my collar.

"Spit. It. Out."

"WHO KILLED YOUR HOOKER? HUH?-!" I snap. "Now sit yo' as- down before I smack that pretty face for being so dmn **UPTIGHT!"**

He blinks and crosses his arms. "No. Now what is it."

I sigh. "I didn't want to have to do this…" I open the folder.

**THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE!**

"_**ANN YOU STUPID DAUGHTER OF A BTCHY HO I'M GOING TO GUT YOU INTO NOTHING BUT FISH FODDER AND POUND THE LIVING CRP OUT OF YOU WITH YOUR BROTHER!"**_

"Which one?" I mouth as I cling to Sebastian. Feed: Ticked him off by saying TWO THINGS (so what if they both included him being molested?), went after me, pepper spray (I'm sorry Kurosei, but I NEED TO LIVE), Sebastian came, and now we're here. Well, see you next-"GO FASTER DEMON!" I cling to Sebastian.

"Yes, your highness," he mutters.

Okay, he still hates me. *Pout* Wah.

**SO SO SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND MY SUBJECTS! *points to Linkin* blame HER.**

**Linkin: My computer life is spreading Ann.**

**You don't have a life Linkin, period.**

**Linkin: Meanie.**


	16. Chapter 16

_Sixteen_

I yawn and stretch, three random people standing at the side of my bed along with Kurosei. I sigh. "Okay," I sit up, "what?"

"These are the guards your cousin threw out," Kurosei rocks on her feet.

I raise a brow at the two girls. "Uh…is it possible to just take one?"

She blinks. "Err…why?"

I jump out of the bed and start organizing the notes and the gifts. "Well, there is a hot boy and two girls." I lean in a whisper, "I don't want them walking into anything, hehe."

She sighs and hands me the letter I was about to pick up.

_ANN-_

_YOU KNOW HE COULD NOT HURT YOU RIGHT! HELLO! THAT'S WHY I GAVE YOU THE RING THING! HOW COULD RAKISU THROW OUT YOUR BODY GUARDS! THEY WERE TO PROTECT YOU FROM THE WRATH OF ZERO, KANA-CHAN, AND ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE YOU PEE OFF! *SIGH* RAKISU DID NOT EVEN LOOK AT THEM! I EVEN SENT AN ATTRACTIVE BODY GUARD SO THAT SHE COULD DROOL OVER HIM! I SENT THEM TO YOU BECAUSE THEY WERE MY BODY GUARDS BUT THEIR ALWAYS LIKE 'DONT STEP IN THE PUDDLE ICHIRYU-SAMA YOU'LL GET YOUR SHOES WET'! THAT IS SOOOO ANNOYING! BUT IF I JUST REFUSE THEM THIER FAMILIES WILL THINK I THINK THEY ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO GUARD A QUEEN! BUT IF YOU ACCEPT THEM THEIR FAMILIES WILL THINK I LIKE THEM ENOUGH TO GUARD THE FUTURE QUEEN OF THE ABOVE WORLD! IT'S A WIN-WIN SITUATION! YOU DON'T GET POUNDED AND I GET MY FREEDOM! OH AND DONT WORRY ABOUT THE DRESS, I HAD MY TALIORS FIX IT! IT SHOULD BE IN THIS PACKAGE! AND YOU DIDNT SAVE ME A POTATO *TEAR*! I WILL DESTROY YOU ZERO! MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AND YOU SAID MY KANA-CHANS FACE WAS PRETTY! YAY YOU FINALLY ADMIT IT! OHH, AND COULD YOU GET ICHIOU (TAKUMAS GRANDFATHER) TO COME TO THE ACADEMY I HAVE SOME "BUISNESS" TO SETTLE WITH HIM ... *EVIL SMILE* AND I KNOW HOW SESAME STREET AFFECTED RAKISU. SEEING THAT SHE HAS A DOMIANT ATTITUDE THE SEEMINGLY INNOCEANCE OF THE SHOW MADE HER DOMIANT AND DARING PERSONALITY TO GROW BEYOND NORMAL AND IN CONCLUSION SHE WOULD WANT TO BE DIFFERENT THEN EVERYONE ELSE SO SHE DEVLOPED HER OUTRAGOUS NEED THINGS THAT NORMAL PEOPLE WOULD NOT WANT OR UNDERSTAND SUCH AS HER UPSIDE DOWN STAR OBSESSION... I JUST PROBLOLY BORED YOU TO DEATH..._

_YOUR SAINLY CHALLENGED FOLLOWER,_

_KUROSEI_

"_That's _all?" I laugh. "You could've just let me 'co'-"

"OH NO!" she waves her arms. "Not going to happen! Last time I tried that, my friend's neck was snapped!"

I pout. "Oh what about this…"

**~~Funny Farm~~**

"YOU FCKING DID WHAT?-!" Mom shakes me.

The red head hugs Richard's arm. Rakisu pats the brunette's head as she covers her ears from my parent's scolding. Okay, so I called them up and let loose a few swears, so what? "I just gave my best family members body guards," I shrug. "Come on!"

"May you please, Mrs. Siam?" the boy (hot as hll may I say~) bows his head. "This is what our queen wishes."

"Oh are yo-" She notices Kurosei. "Oh…Hello."

Kurosei smiles and waves once. "Please?" she bashes her eyelids.

Mom sighs. "Fine. Rakisu, may you please explain why you're going into another dorm?"

Yeah, Rakisu and the brunette are obliterating another wall in the dorm. "A servant's quarter's," she shrugs. "I'm going to put nice, black curtains to separate the properties."

"Beet's going to kill me," Richard hands his head.

I go over to the packages and my hot body-guard follows. I open Kurosei's package (don't, you sick perverts) and take out the shock gum, cameras (WHY DO YOU PEOPLE WANT ME TO BE A STALKER?-!), seventy pounds of sugar and caffeine, black-mail on Zero (I DON'T LIKE HIM THAT WAY), a new laptop, more pepper spray, and a baseball bat. I scribble 'Zero Discipliner' on the wood in permanent marker and go to the next follower's gifts. It says 'Demon to Sebby'.

"Give this to Sebastian," I hand the letter to my body-guard. "Please~?"

He nods and runs out. Uh, I think I'm going to find out why she ditched them (-_-). The next is from Night.

_Dear Queen Ann,_

_You are totally right about there never being TOO MUCH CANDY. Plus if you are missing any weapons I can totally get some for you And they can be disguised too! So Rakisu don't take them. X_X_

_Your Loyal and Odd Follower, Night the Clan Cat_

See? I taught a nice, psychotic person a life lesson. I should be recognized as a nice queen who'll pss over your corpse if you ticked me off in life! I take out the twenty-five pounds of candy and two new pens. I whip one forward and out comes a sword and I whip the next to fire a dart in my mom's back. "Oops."

**Negative**

Now that Richard, Rakisu, Beet (more panicking than helping), brunette, and red-head are gone dragging my mom home and dad discussing something with the Headmaster, I shred the next one open before anything ELSE makes this drag onto one-thousand words of NOTHING.

_Ann,_

_I have a job for you! You will need this costume and weapon. Have great fun with that!_

_Any anime characters, potions or random crp you need, just ask!_

_Mika xx_

_All hail her majesty Ann!_

I take out the Bardroy costume and the flamethrower. My phone starts to ring 'Knives and Pens' by Black Veil Brides and I flip it open to a text from Linkin. "Wow…I'm going to have to do some hefty persuading…"

Rakisu and Kurosei come in and Rakisu takes her letter. She also takes the book with 'RAKISU' on it. Kurosei sits next to me. "Again, why did you run away from Kaname?" she sways.

"The ring goes against VAMPIRE powers. Punching is a UNIRACE power. Duh."

**Negative**

"Isn't this high-class murder?" Ciel hisses.

"Oh can it, pretty nuts," I growl, fidgeting with the flamethrower and tugging on the costume. I turn in the pushes and pat my thighs and whistle. "Come here Pluto!"

Pluto comes up and gives me doggie-kisses. I see everyone is having lunch and Ciel sighs. "When we get out of this, I'm having Sebastian kick your sorry as-."

"Demon told him to be nice, so HA!" I push him out.

All the girls squeal and surround him. Yuki gives me a thumbs-up, seeing she knows me so well~. I then toss sausage towards the boys laughing and Pluto goes after them, Zero on the roof waving at me. I jump out and pull the trigger. As flames rise, some girls stomp over. **"WHAT THE FCKING HLL ARE YOU DOING?-!"** they scold.

"Well there was a lot of meat to be cooked so I thought I would cook it, wiv me flamethrower," I smile. That's when I run for dear life with Pluto and Ciel, both unharmed and I'm screaming. "MIKA! MIKA GET YO AS- OUT HERE YOU WITCH!"

Trees block the path to me and I stop to see Mika sitting on a branch and waving at me. I climb up and hug her. "Ugh…" she swats away some flying hearts. "What is with you and the hearts?"

"Oh," I smile. "I got them from Suki!" She blinks. "Uh…She's a sister of Rakisu."

"Rakisu has a sister?"

"Three; a twin and two older sisters," I shrug. "Suki is one of the older ones. She can make crystal~"

A heart smashes into the back of her head and she's knocked out as it shatters with impact.

**Negative**

"Again, _terribly _sorry about the hearts," I call back to the infirmary door. "I'll ask Suki about them when she visits."

Thing is, she NEVER visits. I've seen her TWICE and that's because I visited Rakisu's house. Rakisu is working on the more expanded dorm with Richard and the two body guard females while I'm staring at the sky on the ground with my body guard leaning against a tree (Note segment: _Oh, and please tell me the names so I can stop calling my body guard 'Needs To Get Naked'. It's a little awkward when he blushes and says nothing after)_. "I need to annoy two vampires…"

"I'M TELLING YOU NO, AKATSUKI!"

"Come on Hanabusa, I like her to!"

I blink and sit up. "Needs To Get Naked, can you check that out?"

He blushes and hurries into the trees to come back. "Two Night Class students."

"Crp…" I stand up. "Well, this COULD be my opportune moment to get this chapter done and most likely have Linkin delay me AGAIN."

I walk past him and he follows. I see Akatsuki looking a little peeved and Hanabusa looking like Kaname at the end of last chapter. "YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT ANN!"

"And? Does that mean I can't feel that way about her to?"

I sigh and go through my name-tag ring and make my 'Sebassy' costume levitate to us and I jump into a bush, rushing with the change. Sure I skip the bra and underwear, but in what country is that necessary? It's not in any. Plain and simple. I walk out. "Oh! You're Hanabusa!" I wave. "Have you seen Ann?"

He sighs. "Why? Kaname-sama said you were in Canada."

"Oh, so just because I go to my home for a little bit means I can't EVER return to Japan to see my best friend?" I place my hands on my hips. "I don't _think _so."

He smirks. "See Akatsuki? You two should get together!"

He shoves Akatsuki at me and he lands on me, on top of me in a rather perverted pose. Then I remember this is a dress and Hanabusa is…"EEEP!" I kick him off, pushing the skirt down and closing my thighs together. "PERVERT!"

He's blinking and I tackle him and taser him with Marvin constantly. I eventually go to beating Akatsuki's head against a tree and I stomp to Dorm 666 to see Rakisu beat down two more walls so it's four-dorms wide. It's all black and they're in the middle of hanging black curtains that can slide to the side. "Would you like to rest?" Needs To Get Naked wonders.

I nod silently and drag myself over to the bed, plopping down, rolling into a ball, and sucking my thumb like a little school girl.

**Moral: DON'T FORGET THE UNDERWEAR AND BRA.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Wow, fourty-nine reviews for only sixteen chapters. This story has the most reviews out of all my stories and it's not even done~ Pat yourselves on the back everybody! Hopefully Ann will get some new followers so this can get a Third story :)**

_Seventeen_

I wake up and Mr. Needs to Get Naked hands me a letter from Kurosei. "Wh-"

"Please read this," he rushes.

I blink and take it. Jeez, talk about pushy. When I'm Queen, I'm not going to take that kind of sht, got that? Rule numbero uno: NO WAKING UP THE DMN MOTHER FCKING QUEEN! That's _my _job.

_ANN_

_DONT WORRY WE DONT WANT YOU TO BE A STALKER! BUT YOU'RE ALL READY ONE... SO WE ARE JUST HELPING YOU OUT! ANY WAY THE GUYS NAME IS ATSUSHI (PURE AMBITTION), RED IS AKANHANA (RED ROSE), AND AKARI IS THE BRUNNET (LIGHT, BRIGHTNESS)... AND CAN I KILL HANABUSA YET! ALTHOUGH I CAN NOT BELVE ATSUSHI BLUSHED... THAT'S VERY UN-COMMON WHERE I COME FROM... WE NEVER BLUSH UNLESS... OH... I AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU THAT... AND THE PUNCHING IS WHY YOU HAVE THE BODY GUARDS! DUUUUHHHHH!_

_KUROSEI_

Well Rakisu threw them out BEFORE that Kaname thing (-_-). Lucifer the Death Demon and Angel Fluff jump onto my bed and onto my head, curling up into two little fuzz balls as I wonder what it means for a demon to blush. If it's rape, then please, tell me so I can rape Zero and be claimed for God's sake! I DON'T WANNA BE TAKEN BY-You know what? WHY AM I TELLING YOU PROBERS ABOUT MY LIFE?-! And just because I want to lose my virginity to Zero DOESN'T mean I like him, _got that_?

I look around and I see I don't have a present from her. I pout. "Dmn it…"

Atsushi hands me a small package and two more letters. Hmm. Low business day.

_Dear Queen Ann,_

_I hope you enjoy your new weapons while you give torture to those who defy you I hope you do well and your new dorm is as awesome as you! Also if the pens ever stop working... don't mess with them... just tell me and I'll give new ones. They tend to blow up if that happens... Anyway... this was a sorta pointless letter but I am getting more supplies!_

_Which equals to more disguised weapons! So I shall make more, but beware of the explosions _

_P.s. Just give me a notice if you ever need different weapons disguised as regular things!_

_Your Loyal Mentally Disturbed Follower, Night the Clan Cat_

Just for saying they explode, I'll completely ignore that sentence and just stuff it in Hanabusa's underwear. The last one is from Mika, and at least I know she'll give me a job (that's because it says in big bold letters **'JOB'**)

_Ann,_

_I have been slaving (not really) over my cauldron to create a potion that made you invisible! But it failed and made a potion that turns who ever drinks it into a fat blob (I suggest you use that one on Ruka :) Hehe). Oh ya! I bet you could annoy Rima and Senri by taking all their pocky and burning it right in front of their eyes! I want you to have a gumball machine too because I am that nice. It has a never ending supply of gumballs! Yummy __

_Any anime characters, potions or random crp you need, just ask!_

_Mika xx_

_All hail her majesty, Queen Ann!_

_(P.S. Did you notice that I changed the end bit? Lol :P)_

I'll go do that.

**Negative**

"NOTHING?-!" I scream at their emotionless faces, waving the burning pocky box in front of their eyes.

"It doesn't bother us," Rima shrugs.

"Why do you even want to annoy us so much?" Senri yawns.

I growl and stomp out.

**Negative**

Those mother fckers don't count worth a dmn because they are FCKING EMOTIONLESS TW*TS (*=not 'I'). I slam the door of the dorm, making one of the curtains slide open to a tired Rakisu, kneeling in front of the wall with her Satanist crp. "What the Hll is wrong with you _now_?" she stands, rubbing one eye.

I grumble and snatch my phone, seeing Linkin texted me about the job. "I need you," I grab Rakisu, "and you," I grab my kitty minions and head out the door for the Night Dorms. I kick Mika's door seeing my hands are occupied with Rakisu's wrist and my kittens who are trying to climb up onto my shoulder or head, both meowing. Don't worry about them growing old and dying, they're vampires! Yep, I asked Rakisu and now they're my little vampire kittens that are slightly bigger than a small paper bowl (definitely bigger than a tea cup. Tried it, Headmaster was spitting out fur all night).

Ugh…OFF TOPIC! I smash my head into the wall and see Hanabusa in bed, blinking at me. Akatsuki waves once. "Hey," Rakisu enters through the door. "Can I talk to Hanabusa?"

He shrugs and follows her. Okay, the plan is seeing she's a Pureblood, she can do a lot of sht, so she's already in the process of making a room of glass in front of the lunch-area-thingy because she can make stuff like that. I don't know, ask her about her weird sht and dealings because right now I need to get Mika. I run into her room, drag her out of bed, and we catch up (or me, she's slacking off looking surprised). I whistle and Pluto comes bounding after, Mika finally getting it and standing up, grabbing a book and looking through for something.

We reach the glass box. "What the…" he starts before the three of us shove him in through and opening and Rakisu closes it. Mika starts preforming spells, that of which mostly targeted at his nardles, and I make a tiny hole. "Pluto," I pat his head. "Fire in the hole!"

Hehe, see what I did there?...Oh screw you. Pluto turns into his big doggy form (which I pat) and he blows a lot of 'fire in the hole' (laugh or else). Girls scream and boys laugh, mostly Zero, now choking on his chicken lunch. "Oh for the love of Satin," Rakisu sighs.

I skip over and go behind him, wrapping my arms around his stomach and heaving. He spits out disgusting gunk and I'm suddenly reminded of my first days here. Ah, those were good times…

**Negative**

The next day, I'm in town with Yuki. "Hmm…" I examine the explosion rate on a 'Thumb Snatcher' and a 'Fang Rattler'. "What do you think, Miz Cross?" I shove them into her face.

"Neither," she sighs, setting them back onto the booth. "Get something like 'Flower Power' or 'Blood Shower' because both are a little more better."

I immediately snatch 'Blood Shower' and wait for Yuki to finish up. In the course of a few (two) minutes, I start to get bored (to extinction). I'm leaning against booths and groaning. "ARE YOU ALMOST DONE?-!" I cling to her, screaming out of my pain and agony. QUEENS SHOULDN'T GO THROUGH THIS SHT, ALRIGHT?-!

Yuki sighs and hands me some money. "Go look around then."

I snatch the money and stomp off. No, my body guard isn't with me because I ordered him to stay or I would stab his wee-wee into a bloody casserole of guts and flesh. I go into an alley and look around, trying to find more booths down the ways. _**"Hello…"**_ I blink and turn to see a man with a lollipop and torn up, casual wear, shaggy black strands over red eyes. _**"Want to come with me?"**_

"RAPEST!" I take out Marvin, tasering him. What sucks?

**It doesn't affect him.**

I laugh nervously and back up slowly, him following mockingly. "You know something?" I whisper to myself. I break into a run AWAY from the rapest…vampire? Well, seeing he's using the walls as the ground, I'd have to assume that. _"QUEENS SHOULDN'T GO THROUGH __**THIS **__SHT EITHER!"_

I go through my portable stuff, shoot some darts (miss), shoot (miss), run (trip), and I try pepper spray and shock gum combined. Okay, so the gum gets me a few feet, but he ends up getting me anyways. _**"Blood…"**_

"GET OFF ME YOU SICK RAPEST MOTHER-"_BANG! _I blink and ash blows past me, into my hair, and into my eyes. "OW MY EYES!" I run around.

Someone grabs my shoulder. "Hey, are you alright Ann?"

I blink and turn to…"Zero…" He stares at me. "I'm fine, but when people die, they really need to watch where they spill out their guts. Or in this case, ash."

He chuckles. "Well, I'm glad you're okay."

I raise a brow and put my hand on his forehead. "You okay? I think I might've given you too much crack last night…"

He smiles and grabs my hand with his own, taking it off and just holding it. "If anyone is questionable if they're alright, that's you."

"I just said…DID CRACK MAKE YOU DEAF?" I scream in his ear.

He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, psychopath."

He tugs on my hand and I follow him back to Yuki who fawns over me saying 'poor Ann!' this and that. You know, I prefer to be vampire feed over THIS (-_-).

**Moral: Tasers don't work on Level E vampires.**

**Linkin: Well, there was a Zero X Ann moment for you wonderful fans~**


	18. Chapter 18

_Eighteen_

-Yawn here-

-Grab letter here-

-Read here-

WELL FCK TRADITIONAL WAKIE-UPSIES! I wake up, find I'm on my period (mostly by the now ruined sheets), my cats are fighting, Rakisu is passed out on the floor (does monthly blood smell _that _bad to Pureies?), and three different kinds of huge, honking navy eyes are right up in my dmn face, which is dmn splintered as I fcking smash my head through the dmn mother fcking wall. Wanna say something? HUH? WANNA?-!

**~~Funny Farm~~**

Okay, so I was strangling Suki (one of the eyes) during that rant, and now I'm as psychotic as ever, not knicker-twisted (something I learned from Richie). Atsushi hands me my five notes and two packages. I sit down and kick my legs as Rakisu dramatically crawls for the door. Her twin, Ran, just drags her back and the second oldest of the four, Masu, helps. Well, where do you think the youngest twin got her name? Some Anime that wasn't even around when she was born? I open the first note.

_Dear Queen Ann,_

_I see that the dart pen is not good on firing, I shall see to that and tweak it so that it is heat-seeking, or in this case Level E seeking so that they will have a better chance at hitting the target I think it should be heat-seeking though... Seeing as though you have more bothersome people you like to attack at random times._

_Well I will stop taking up your time and I have finished two more I have an indestructible crown for you when you are Queen but I shall send it and a backpack that has no end to the amount of things that can be put in it and it is almost weightless, 2 pounds to be exact_

_Your Loyal Mentally Disturbed Follower, Night the Cat of your Nightmares_

Yay~ Crown! I wonder what Kaname will say…(XP) and now we move on to Lettero Dos~

_Dear Ann, _

_I'll be there soon! I have a lot of different colors of carpet for you and Rakisu and a lot of different colors of paint too._

_Your Eternally Faithful Follower and Worshiper of Her Majesty Ann Siam, _

_Yuki Hoshino._

YAY~ Wait…CRP! I try to push Suki, Masu, and Ran out. "GO! SCAT! THOU SHALL NOT DISTURB MY FUTURE SECOND IN COMMAND!"

"H-Hey!" Ran pouts. "Cut me a break! It's these lunatics that cause me to lose it!"

"Suuuuure," Suki and Masu pat her head. "Blame is on the older ones."

"Ran can stay," I shove the others out. "YOU TWO GO HOME AND SMOKE METH!"

I slam the door shut and the other two wake up, peeking out of the curtain that divides this section from Atsushi's. I grab the other note while sucking on Atsushi's thumb (he blushes again).

_Ann,_

_I have two jobs for you! Please complete them to the best of your abilities and eat gumballs from the gumball machine all the while! :P I just thought instead of giving you loads of crp I would actually give jobs to do with the random crp :)B. I also got Finny out of Black Butler, so you can keep him for a while! (Rakisu don't let any harm come to my baby. Okay? I don't want a single hair from his beautiful head missing when he returns to me! Mwahahahahaha!)_

_Any anime characters, potions or random crp you need, just ask!_

_Mika xx_

_All hail her majesty, Queen Ann!_

I take out a small note with the jobs and tuck it in my jacket pocket. I grab Kurosei's letter so I can write a letter back.

_ANN-_

_ZERO FINALLY MADE IS MOVE! YAY! AND OF COURSE YOU WOULD WANT TO BE VAMPIRE FEED! ZERO'S VAMPIRE FEED! *WINK*... OH AND TO ANNOY RIMA AND SHIKI I RECOMMEND EATING ALL OF THIER POCKY AND MAKEING IT WHERE THEY CANT GET MORE! THEY PRACTICALLY LIVE ON THAT STUFF! OH AND QUEENS HAVE TO GO THOUGH STUFF LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME! SOMETIMES WORSE! TAKE LADY JANE GREY FOR AN EXAMPLE... SHE WAS QUEEN FOR NINE DAYS AND THEN SHE WAS PUT IN JAIL... AND A FEW DAYS LATER DECAPITATED! AND YES YOU CAN RAPE ZERO BUT YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST YOUR V-CARD TO HIM ONCE...FIRST YEAR AT SCHOOL AFTER YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY... NO COMMENT... POOR SHIKI..._

_TOUR STALKERISH FOLLOWER_

_KUROSEI_

_**Kurosei,**_

_**I! DO! NOT! LIKE! ZERO! I am not in-denial, and I'm not on my p-Oh wait, I am, but STILL! And are you talking about when Naomi and I got Zero and Shiki drunk? Okay, they were naked, but I did not have baby-making-magic with Zero! Questionable on Naomi, BUT STILL! I am a virgin, and I plan to stay that way until I officially get drunk off of my fcking fat as-. Also, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN DEMONS BLUSH?-!-?**_

_**Your Queen on her Monthly,**_

_**Ann 'I'M OFF MY MEDS' Siam**_

_**(P.S-I'm not angry at you, I'm angry at my genes for making me a girl)**_

I stab the wall with my pencil and pick up the package. Maybe there are some more vampire-plush-toys (-_-). Okay, let's see…hand cuffs (thought: lose virginity), shock gum, pepper spray, tazer battery, a charm bracelet with some note saying it shrinks my weapons, sugar, and some dagger that goes against Level E's. Do you think it'd work on Zero? HAHAHA. In so, I stick all the living weapons that I plan to keep permanently on the bracelet:

_Sebastian the Scythe_

_Marvin the Taser_

_Tweedle-Dee Taser_

_Tweedle-Dum Taser_

_Ciel the Cleaver_

_William Whip Pen_

_Sill Sword Pen_

_David Dart Pen_

The rest burned in that fire (DMN YOU, YOU FCKING DAY CLASS PANSIES!). Note: You're in for an aggressive chapter because you're favorite psychopath is on her monthly! WAHHHHH! [:( ]

**~~Not So Funny Farm~~**

In the Night Class Dorms, I glomp Finny from Black Butler. "So cute~" I sing.

Ciel sighs and turns to Mika looking for her camera. "When can we return?" he asks impatiently.

"When I say you can," she stiffens. "Hey, do any of your cousins or siblings have a camera?"

"Ask Kurosei. I mean, she watches Kaname all day, so of course she has at least one," I shrug.

She walks out and I grab the blob potion. I'm actually tempted to drink it, but I keep my lips shut and stand, skipping out while looking for Ruka. To tell all, I do, in fact, hate the btch. I mean she's always trying to kiss Kaname's as when he belongs to Kurosei! I even wrote a Rated 'M' short story about Kurosei and Kaname (even though Rakisu used it as a sacrifice to Satin -_-). I find her walking down the hall in some casual purple shirt and kakis. I mean, kakis? I've always seen her wear skirts, but kakis? I pin her to the wall and threaten her with the shock gum.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE'S RUKA?-!" I demand.

She blinks. "Uh, it's me," she states. "What about me makes you think I'm a total stranger?"

I try to conceal my smirk. _Let's screw with Ruka~~~_. "Ruka doesn't get zits."

She shrieks and feels at her face. "Where? Where? Oh fck where is it?-!"

_Dmn it, no camera…_I rock on my feet and start to hear footsteps. "Drink this," I offer the bottle. "I was going to give it to Yuki because I think I saw one on her face, but-"

She nods and snatches it, gulping the whole thing down. She hands it back and blinks. Let's just say, when everyone gets over here, there's a nice little blob at my feet with Ruka's clothes over it. "Ruka?-!" Akatsuki gasps.

"Hey, the zit's gone," I whisper down at her little blobby self before skipping off. I peek into Mika's dorm to see her with the camera. "Come on Sebastian and Mika!" I call, running off. "WOO-HOO! TORTURE!"

They follow and I go off in a search for a dead body~.

**~~Funny Farm~~**

_R.I.P. _

_Blart_

_Drunkard_

Well, at least the chapter guy can get his body back now (-_-). Poor Blart, stumbled into the road and became road kill…Well, at least it was in front of the academy so I get a corpse! YAY~ HE'S USEFUL FOR ONCE~. Mika video tapes next to me on a branch as Sebastian grumbles, dragging dead Blart into the middle of the lunching area. Girls scream and boys start to choke. Most of them start to puke as well. He walks away and I dial the chapter-guy on my phone. _"Hello?"_

"Yeah, chapter-guy? You can get your body back," I inform.

"_Really?-!"_

"Yeah, but be warned. It was hit with a car, so I'm not sure it'll function well…"

"…_What?"_

"Your body became road kill, is that so hard to understand?"

_BEEEEP._ Dmn bstard hung up on me! Guess I know who's getting the shock gum down their throats.

**~~Funny Farm~~**

I'm sitting on Senri's bed, eating all the Pocky him and Rima share. Atsushi is out trying to block all means of pocky getting to the two models, so yay~ I still want an explanation to the whole blush thing before my period ends so I can have an excuse for swearing when my Mom sees his murder on the news~ (what, I'm not dumb -_-). Rima and Senri enter with their Emo expressions and see me, eyes wide. "Uh…" Senri gulps.

"What?" I growl. "ARE YOU ANNOYED YET?-!"

Rima shakes her head. "Not really. To warn you, there were laxatives in those."

I stop in the middle of a chew and spit it out over them, trying to brush all Pocky off my tongue when it starts to kick in. Great, like blood wasn't enough!

**~~I Hate This Farm~~**

While I'm on the toilet, Ran knocks on my door. "Ann, you forgot a letter and a package."

"Oh just toss them in. It's not like I'm going to be able to get out any time soon."

She opens the door briefly and tosses them in (luckily within my reach) and slams the door shut. I pick them up and read the note.

_Here in this box I give you Roxi My machete, I raised it from a little pocket knife. Take care of him good luck taking over the world and use Roxi to annoy the night class._

_From Wolf's Insanity as a person Aka Cassie._

I open the box to said machete. I smile and put it on the bracelet on the counter not far. What? Do you think I'd wipe my butt with that on? GROSS! Yet again, I'm telling you that I'm in the bathroom on a toilet, so I probably shouldn't be talking. "Well, at least that makes my day a bit brighter," I slump. Then something occurs to me. "Uh…Is this becoming more 'gross' than 'funny' or am I just paranoid from _Ren and Stimpy_?"

**Moral: **_**Ren and Stimpy **_**makes me paranoid about my torture segments.**


	19. Chapter 19

_Nineteen _

Finally, Linkin, the complete douche, decides to come back to my torture! I mean seriously, STOP FOCUSSING ON SEVEN-YEAR-OLDS AND GO TO THE FUNNY CHICK WITH TITS! Yet again, at least she had the decency to wait until those laxatives wore off…Anyways! I put my _Torture for Dummies _on the nightstand and Atsushi waves, handing me…four letters and two packages. Yay. Rakisu comes over with a tired look. "Hey Atsushi, can you…" she waves towards the curtains and he bows, walking past it. She faces me. "God almighty, Ann, GET RID OF THEM."

"Why?" I open the first one. "It's Kurosei's gain and we get something out of it to."

"THEY. ARE. FCKING. ANNOYING," Rakisu complains. "Yesterday I was walking with…Akari, wasn't it? When she starts taking extreme measures and decapitates a rabbit. I mean that's _my _job, A, and B, someone could end up hurt, so either you kill them, give them back, OR FIND ANOTHER PLACE FOR THEM."

"Don't you remember what she said she'd do if you threw them out again?" I sigh.

"I. DON'T. GIVE. A. FCK."

I roll my eyes as she sits at the foot of my bed and I read the letter before this becomes a Rakisu-Ann Cuss Off.

_Ann,_

_I have nothing for you this time because my head kills and I would murder if it could stop the pain in my back. Due to these facts I can hardly think, so I will give you your things when I am not in pain._

_Any anime characters, potions or random crp you need, forget about it right now!_

_Mika -_-_

_All hail her majesty, Queen Ann! Blah, blah, you get it..._

…Jesus woman, DON'T SEND ME A LETTER IF THAT'S IT! I mean sure, I hold (no) concern for your problems, but I mean come on, save yourself the trouble by NOT SENDING THE LETTER. Next.

_ANN-_

_SINCE YOU WANT SOME VAMP PLUSHYS I GUESS I WILL SEND U SOME... AND YOU THINK TOO MUCH ON THE LITTLE DETAILS... AND YOU DIDNT RELIZE I WAS NOT HERE DURING YOUR FIRST YEAR... YA, I AM A BIT STALKERISH... AND YOU ARE IN DENIEL THATS WHY ITS CALLED DENIEL BECAUSE YOU DONT WANT YOUR SELF TO LIKE HIM BUT YOU DO SO YOU TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU DONT!... OHHHH, AND I KNOW WHAT KANA-KINS WILL SAY! 'WHY THE H*** DOES SHE HAVE A CROWN' THEN HE WILL TRY TO DESTROY IT! AND WHEN A DEMON BLUSHES IT MEANS HE LIKES YOU! OHHH, AND YELL WHATS HER NAME SHE IS MORE THEN WELCOME TO BORROW ONE OF MY 20 CAMERAS! AND I CANT BELIVE THE POCKY THING DIDNT WORK! TRY BURNING IT INSTEAD OF EATING IT AND PREVENTING THEM FROM GETTING MORE! THAT MIGHT WORK! OHHH AND GUESS WHAT! I FIND THIS HALLARIOUS AND YOU MIGHT TOO! KANA-KINS SINGS IN THE SHOWER! LOL! I GOT IT ON VIDEO TOO!_

_YOUR FOLLOWER WHO ALSO HATES HER GENES,_

_KUROSEI_

You know, I think I should just send them back as punishment for her saying I like Zero (which I don't). He's sexy, but I do not hold actual love for him. If I did, I'd have tiny little end-of-the-world packages crawling around while I'm rocking in a chair knitting little sweaters. I open her package to drag out the vamp plushy toys I so needed (putting one in my mouth and gnawing on its head), plaster (stuff to fill in walls with), the Kaname-singing-in-shower video (without a rating, so I am not aware if it shows him naked or not [oh dear GOD]), a nose plug with a small note saying 'Rakisu', so I chuck it at the Pureblood's head and continue, pimple potion, lock picking kit, and shock gum. NEXT.

_Dear Queen Ann,_

_I am sending you some more candy and to let you know the renewed dart pen is almost done__.__ It shall be in the form of shoes... You put them on and just think 'attack' or something that works with that, like 'shoot' or 'fire'. But only if you think it. Lame I know but it is a more of a hidden weapon. Plus__,__ I ran out of pens and now three of my huskies are dead and two of my birds... I need to get more... Anyway, have a great day Queen Ann!_

_Your Loyal Mentally Disturbed Follower, Night the Darkness of your Nightmares_

Oh goodie, give me a mental weapon, IT'LL GO OFF ALL THE TIME~MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Thought: KANAME GOES FIRST). I'm sorry to Kaname lovers, but I honestly, truthfully hate his balls as much as he hates my sweet brain. So, the box isn't fairly large, but contains four pounds of candy (Mom'll have a hard time getting me away from sugar for the next year if I think it means torture XD) and a small little note that says more is to be received from the shoes. Yay~ NEXT.

_Dear Ann-sama,_

_YUKI HOSHINO WILL DROP IN FRONT OF YOU WHEN YOU FINISH READING THIS!_

_Your always crazy and insane follower who has ninja-ish powers,_

_Yuki Hoshino_

"Wait what?" I blink.

"QUEEN ANN~~~~~~~~~~~~~" someone tackles me.

"ACK!"

The blonde follower is hugging me, a whole bunch of stuff with her, such as paint and all that. Even the security system~That and a bucket load of cats (seriously, she put them in buckets). "So I have extra paint, everything you asked for, some really cool stuff…" and she goes on and on and _on _and _on_ and _**on**__ and__** on **__and__** ON. **_

"That's wonderful," I smile, patting her head. "Well, I'll get Kurosei to film me during today's torture and you'll be here improving the dorm with Rakisu, right?"

She nods and the two go to work while I _exeunt._

**~~Funny Farm~~**

"NO!" Kurosei snatches her cameras. "I WILL NEVER TAKE THEM BACK!"

"Oh please! Before they drive Rakisu crazy and she kills everyone before I can rule over them!"

She shakes her head and walks out of her dorm, my head covered in sweat-drops for some reason. Fake tears stream down cartoonishly and I slump after her, nibbling on candy. "So, what 'cha doing today?" Kurosei asks with a smile.

I think about what she got for me. "Nothing with shock gum, that's a little played out now…I'll save that for tomorrow or so…Pimple potion for Ruka, and…breaking into Hanabusa's dorm and sticking a creepy, deformed vampire plushy in his bed~~"

"How deformed?" she giggles.

I pin a vampire plushy to the hall wall and take Carol the Chainsaw (thank you Ran~) off the bracelet (and yes, Ran left). "Oh, you should see soon enough~~~~~~~~"

**~~Vampire-Plushy-Torture Farm~~**

~~RESPECT THE WAVINESS OF THE WAVIES~~

Okay, that little out-burst out of the way…time for torture~. Off topic: My flag when I rule shall have '~' on it (without the quote marks of course). I bump into Ruka in the hall, looking a little shaken from being turned into a blob no doubt. "Hey Ann," she mumbles.

"Hey Ruka!" I cling to her arm. "I'm sorry, and as an apology, this will prevent you from being affected by that blob thingy again~"

She raises a brow. "I should trust you…why?"

"Because I'm cute and I'm going to be the future queen, so might as well before I decapitate you for treason in my reign!"

She sighs and takes it, drinking it and giving the vial to me. About five pimples pop out instantly. "Thanks," she blinks, walking down further.

I chuckle mischievously and run to Hanabusa's room. "Hey, nice pimples!" I hear Hanabusa laugh.

…"AHH!"

I'm laughing my cute little as off~I slip into Hanabusa's room and pin the stuffing with red-food coloring to the wall, some chunks falling to the ground. I run out and slam into Kaname at the door. "OOF! Hey!" Kaname snaps.

"I'm not sorry!" I run past, flipping him off as I vanish past the gates. "I'M SCOTCH BINGINGTON!"

"No you're not!" a Day Class girl calls as I rush past a tree she's hiding in.

"STALKER!" I scream, speeding up and slamming into something hard. I fall back and look up to see a podium. "MEANIE!" I stab it with Marvin, but it fails.

I pout and someone picks me up from behind. "You're clumsy," I hear Zero sigh, walking into the cafeteria and putting me in a seat.

Yuki Cross waves. "Hey Ann!"

"Hey Yuki," I take some chicken from Zero's lunch. "Why are you so happy today?"

"Oh, I'm excited for Valentine's Day tomorrow~"

I choke on the chicken. "W-W-WHAT?-!"

**Review~**

**Hehe, sorry for the short chappie~**


	20. Chapter 20

_Twenty_

"NO! I AM NOT COMING OUT OF MY EMO CLOSET ON THIS UNHOLY DAY!" I scream at Rakisu as she tries to coax me and my kitties out of the 'Emo closet'. What? Emo corner is just so over-done, ya' know?

"Come on, you have mail!" Rakisu huffs.

"NUH-UH!"

"Zero is nude."

I shoot out of the closet with hearts for eyes. "Where? Where?" I freeze and glare at her. "You tricked me…"

She rolls her eyes and hands me three letters and three packages. I pout and sit on my bed, the demons waving. I flip them off and rip open da' first letter. _I am so pssed today…_

_Dear Queen Ann,_

_Glad you like the idea of the shoes This is a short letter but anyway... I added an extra thing with the shoes and candy!_

_Your loyal mentally disturbed follower, Night the Darkness of your Nightmares_

I open the package two sixteen pounds of sweet candy, dart shoes that I stick on, and two collars. One is blood colored with 'Demon' on the tag and the other is ocean colored with 'Angel' on the tag. I pick up my little fuzzy minions and put them on. Lucy, of course, suddenly jumps at Rakisu and claws the crp out of her face, in which I laugh at. I pick up the next note and package, both from our favorite witch, Mika.

_Ann,_

_I am sorry about that last letter; I didn't want to die because of not sending a letter! I have some jobs for you and an iPod Nano with some music (such as Black Veil Brides, Escape The Fate and such, but there is lots of other music as well [those are just my favourite ones]) and head phones. You can listen to the music to get more of an atmosphere._

_Any anime characters, potions or other random crp you need, just ask!_

_Mika xx_

_All hail her majesty, Queen Ann!_

Ah, a smart follower~ How did she know the penalty of not sending a letter was death? ^^ I take out the IPod Nano she so speaks of and set it next to me, taking out a tiny note card with my jobs for Satan's Torture Day. I set them on the Nano and take up the last note and package, both from our favorite Demon Queen/Kaname Bride, Kurosei!

_ANN_

_VALINTINES DAY! GRRRRR... YUKI CROSS AND HER LITTLE DAY CLASS GIRLS BETTER STAY AWAY FROM MY KANA-KINS! *EYES FLASH*...IF THEY DONT A COUPLE ACCIDENTS MIGHT HAPPEN... TE HE HE HE HE... GOOD LUCK WITH ZERO... AND SINCE YOU PROBOLOY CAN NOT COOK AT ALL I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF MAKING SOME CHOCOLATES FOR YOU TO GIVE TO ZERO! YOU CAN HATE ME LATER... I'M NOT GIVEING CHOCOLATES TO THE DAY CLASS... SO YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THAT... AND DONT WORRY ILL PUT WHOLE CAJAN PEPPER SEEDS IN HANABUSAS..._

_KUROSEI_

I scowl at the letter and dig through the package to find the chocolates, stuffing my face. "Thinks I like him…HA!"

Rakisu raises a brow and Atsushi peeks out from behind his curtain. "Are you okay Miss Si-"

I chuck an anvil at his head (-whistling innocently-). "FCK OFF!"

I dig in the package again to take out a chainsaw blade, blow horn, and pocket knife. I stick the blades on the bracelet and grab the horn. Atsushi's just blinking when I stomp out, Rakisu sighing and following in the future Queen's suite.

**~~Funny Farm~~**

"Ann…maybe you should give the rest of those chocolates to Kiryu," Richard sighs, turning in the seat in the cafeteria. Beet just makes me like her more by slamming her chair against any girl-who-tries-to-give-him-chocolate's skull. "I mean, he'd appreciate it."

"And? I don't give appreciation!" I slam his head against the table.

"Okay, OW!" he holds his head. "What about this? He'll think you're going soft and then you can surprise him! DMN IT THAT HURT!"

"Aw, is my Richie-Michie okay?" Beet drops the chair, rushing over and kissing his forehead.

"Beet!" he whines. "Ann's here!"

I blink and wave him off. "Be weird all you want, but I won't bail you out again once you rape her."

"What?" Beet gaps.

"B-Beet, she's kidding!" Richard laughs nervously and grabs the back of my jacket. **"****RIGHT ANN?"**

I gulp. Jesus, this guy can get a demonic aura when he wants to. "Um…Y-Yeah, I'm totally joking!"

Sparkles appear around his head as he sparkles. "See Beet?"

"AHHHH!" I run out of the cafeteria. "RAKISU! RICHIE SCARY!"

A fist smacks my face and I fall back. I look up to see Rakisu, smiling. "That's my crazy cousin," she ruffles my hair. "Now, let's put on those shoes and get to darting late people!"

"But the event doesn't start for several hours now," I state. "That, and I wanna dart girls!"

She rolls her eyes and pats my head. "Okay, okay, Miss Picky."

I jump in cheer and take the shoes out of my 'evil plot bag' (or whatever name I used before). I slip them on and darts start coming out in rapid fire, cutting trees down. "Yay~ They work~" I twirl, a dart digging into Rakisu's ankle.

"OW!" she jumps on one foot, holding the injured ankle. "OKAY! GIVE ME THOSE!"

"No!" I run off.

"ANN! YOU'RE GONNA KILL SOMEONE! THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SERVED AS SACRIFICES!"

…Anyone else suddenly scared of her? –Raises hand- Glad we're on the same page. So, I try sticking shock gum on all the darts, some fails here and there, but it works. I hide up in a tree near the cafeteria (the girls swarming the place due to Richard [fcking bstard…]) and I use my awesome thoughts to shock about 70% of them. The rest are smart enough to get the heck out of dodge. Beet throws me a thumbs-up and continues her lunch date with my older brother who I think is so neglected, I should force him to stay with me next chappie.

"She's like my favorite cousin~" I giggle.

I feel everything go cold and slump, turning my head slowly to scream and fall off the branch I was on.

**To save you from trauma, this content is to be never revealed unless if this story is not blossoming.**

Okay, that's a total lie, but since it's in nice bold, Linkin will see that and not this: I will reveal it in the last chappie~ Just for all you loyal followers~. You can wait, right? –Nod now- I knew you could~

Okay, back to da' matter at hand and not the pleasant voices in my head…I take off the shoes and shove them into the bag, Rakisu dropping down, still glaring (you didn't know?). I put on my vampire-power-repel amulet and the element controller, just for security reasons. I skip off to the Night Dorms, staring at the sky until I slam into the front door. Eh, beats knocking, doesn't it? I stumble back a bit and hold my nose, Rakisu walking up behind me. The door opens to reveal Takuma. "Oh, Ann!" he smiles. "Mika actually was about to come to see-"

He's shoved aside by a rather sparkling Hanabusa. "Ann~ I made you chocolates~"

He offers me a heart-shaped box and I smile. Hey, it's free candy! I'M ONLY HUMAN!...Oh wait, I'm not (XD). I take it and Akatsuki comes over, handing me a small green box. "Happy Valentine's Day," he says.

Anyone else suddenly finding these two attractive? Takuma shoves them back and lets me enter, Mika and Ciel on the couch. "Oh, Ann!" Mika waves. "Ready?"

I nod and she rushes up to get Sebastian…Even though it's HOURS until they come out (-_-').

**~~Funny Farm~~**

Well, Mika and I got a real kick out of Kurosei chasing away stalkers with a rabid chipmunk. Now it's time for the second job~ As girls start to gather, I replace the blade on Carol and toss the old one behind me. "OW! MY LEG!" Mika and I jump and look behind us. There's nothing, so we slowly turn back and then someone hugs me.

"ANN-SAMA!"

"AH!" I swing Carol. I see it's just Yuki. "Oh…Don't scare thou future queen!"

She walks back a little and bows. "I apologize my queen! How can I pay for my sins?"

Huh. She should go up for Broadway. I sigh and point to the crowd. "Take Ciel and stick him in the crowd."

Mr. Pouts-A-Lot scoffs and stands up from the box at the far corner. "Why should I be bait?" he snaps.

Yuki already is carrying him over her shoulder. "THE QUEEN COMMANDS IT!" she jumps off the edge, making Mika and I both stand.

"HEY YOU CRAZY! THERE ARE STAIRS FOR A REASON!" we scold. Mika uses her magic to make sure they don't make a Looney Tunes crater in the ground. "For the love of…DON'T SCRATCH THE MERCHANDISE!" she snaps at Yuki.

I blink. "Uh…I don't think she can hear you," I say as she dashes out of the gates and plants him. The dorm doors open and the Night Class starts coming out. Mika runs to the little door-thingy that leads up to here and opens it, dragging Sebastian out. "Now do your job!" I point to the Night Class.

He rolls his eyes and drops down. We can't hear the dialogue well (yay~ big words~), but it's sure funny to see the students flying and getting their tight little as-es kicked!

**Video now on sale for $77**

Can you blame me? I'm low on funds here!...Not really, but I want to be able to rub something in Al's runty little face when I get home. Sebastian wipes his gloves together as Hanabusa and Akatsuki get their heads out of the concrete wall, stumbling and knocking together, both falling backwards. Kaname pushes himself up and sighs, not as banged up as I hoped. I glare at Mika, who shrugs. "Couldn't kill him, sorry. I _value _my life, you know."

I pout and jump down, hugging Sebastian. "Thank-"

"OH MY GOD IT'S SEBASTIAN~!" Yuki pops up, tackling Sebastian to the ground and squishing me between his back and the ground.

I'm flailing my hands under him and Sebastian. "I believe Miss Siam is suffocating," Sebastian chuckles.

Sometimes I wonder if there's a heart or just a little, neglected sap begging passing blood cells to kill him. Oh well, it's a question that shall never be answered I guess. Yuki gets off and so does Sebastian. I pout and Yuki helps me up. The Night Class is suddenly surrounding us and I laugh nervously. "Oh fck I'm dying…" I slump with gloom.

Kaname smirks, which guarantees it. "No…**Something worse**."

"EEP!" I cling to Sebastian. "YOU'RE GONNA SHIP ME TO MY GRANDMA'S HOUSE!"

"What?" Ruka raises a brow.

Someone plucks me off Sebastian. "They don't get along," Rakisu answers plainly. "And you're not doing anything, otherwise I'm shoving your heads in urinals, understand?"

"…Gross…" I blink. Then I shake it off and my eyes sparkle. "But what a loveable cousin~"

"Really?" Senri raises a brow.

"Can't see it," Rima yawns.

I pout and flip them off, Rakisu dropping me and letting me skip to the gates. I kick them open, the old dude raising a brow. "HERE I AM~" I sing. People stare and I slump. "Well fck you to…"

"Yo."

I turn to…Ichiru? "Where the Heck did you come from?" I ask.

"I just got here," he shrugs.

I blink it off and slump down the path, thinking of names for my knife. Kathlyn? Kutty? No…KRISTY! There we go, I knew I'd think of it~. Someone taps my head and I turn to Kurosei. "What?" I ask.

She jerks her head over to a depressed looking Zero and skips off to fend off Kaname stalkers. I glance at the box that probably has half of the original chocolates for Zero left and then at him. I sigh. _Okay…it's just to trick him…that's it…_I walk over and hold out the chocolates. He glances at it and most of the Day Class btches go silent. "Wow, she's giving Kiryu chocolate…"

"Eh, she's probably going to get rejected."

I block out any further whispers and Zero finally takes the box. "Happy Satan's Torture Day I guess," I shrug, walking away.

Everything's silent before he speaks. "Hey, I want to give you my V-Day gift to," he says.

I turn with closed eyes and a smirk. "And what is-"

Something warm is on my lips. My eyes shoot open…

…HE'S KISSING ME!

**Moral: DON'T ACCEPT ZERO'S GIFTS!**

**Linkin:-Cards- Okay, we have three matters to discuss in this little Author's Note. One-Neither Ann or I know when to end this one. Two-We don't know if we should make a third. Three-Ann wants to un-censor the cussing. **

**Ann: Okay, so the first story I so **_**brilliantly **_**did ended with twenty-three chapters, and this is now at twenty. I'm not sure whether we should MATCH that or go FURTHER.**

**Ann: Also, these stories seem to be popular (in a sense), so I'm not sure whether my worshipers will want me to continue or die off. We'll see I guess, but I'd like to hear your opinions (for once in my life)**

**Ann: Lastly, I'M SICK AND TIRED OF NO ACTUAL CUSSING. But Linkin says '**_**oh, but I would like to keep with the censored format like the first story!'**_** In so, we leave the vote to you, unless you want us to start a WWIII and you will be forced to choose to fight for that btch or your queen.**

**Linkin: I can hear you!**

**Ann: -whacks with a pan- HUMANS ARE TALKING! **

**Linkin: OW! And you're not human!**

**Ann: …Oh yeah…**

**Linkin: -sigh- Anyways, we'll be glad to accept donations and listen to your opinions on our three topics~ ^^**

**Ann: Well, see you soon~…I hope.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Guaranteed hyper activity (influenced by chocolate ice cream and Dr. Pepper). **

**And this is just in time for a special birthday! –Confetti- This chapter is (2,503) words for the long wait!**

_Twenty-One_

I'm brushing my teeth rapid fire with whiskey, Rakisu rolling her eyes and muttering to that stupid, metallic-smelling, red, upside-down star on the wall. The three servants we kicked out and chained to the wall so they can serve as doorbells (hey, it's better than having them destroy a book just because you got a paper cut from one of the pages -_-'). Richard sighs and taps his knee from one of the beds. "Ann," he calls. "Stop it. I can't be here all day."

I spit out some and glare at him, dark aura warping around me. "Shut up bitch!" I growl, continuing.

Okay, the only reason why the world is not in ashes as of this moment is because of three thingy-mic-bobbers that make my insides go all 'happy-go-lucky'. One, I CAN CUSS WITHOUT THE CENSOR! FUCKING YIPPEE! ^^ Two, I'm getting another torture session after this~ Three, my kitties sympathize with me and stay by my legs the whole time as I wash my mouth out with whiskey. Now don't judge! COOTIES ARE DEADLY! Richard sighs and checks his wash and I finally decide to wash my teeth one more time with whiskey because parts I swallow are starting to burn my throat. One of the Three Stooges kicks the wall and Rakisu walks out, returning with one note and two packages. I pout and Richard gulps. "T-That's it?"

"Well, it gives Ann some time to think up her own ideas," Rakisu sets them on the counter next to my whiskey jar. "…I'll just take this," she swipes the jar (mean bitch…).

I sigh and chuck the toothbrush behind me. I grab the sad, lonely note and open it mercilessly.

_ANN_

_I TOLD YOU HE LIKED YOU! HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! I WIN! *HAPPY DANCE* *COUGH* *COUGH* SORRY I HAD A MONSTER... ;p ALSO I NEED YOU TO PLAN MINE AND KANAME'S WEDDING! YAYAYAYAYAYAYA... IM NOT VERY GOOD AT PLANING THINGS... THE LAST TIME I PLANED A PARTY HALF THE GUESTS' HADS WERE FLOUTING IN THE GIANT CHOCOLATE FOUNTIN... THEY WERE NOT LIKE THAT BEFORE THE PARTY...;p LOL. OH AND COULD YOU ASK FOR A LOVE POTION FROM MIKA... I REALLY DONT WANT TO WASTE MY MIND CONTROL ON KANAME SO THAT I DONT HAVE TO HOLD HIM DOWN AT OUR WEDDING... ;p_

_YOUR FOLLOWER THAT WILL HELP YOU BECOME QUEEN OF THE UNIVEARSE IF YOU PLAN HER WEDDING,_

_KUROSEI_

I sigh and walk over to the nightstand, grabbing a pen and scribbling a return note while grabbing a Dr. Pepper, cracking it open, and drinking from the opening.

_Yo, Demon Queen_

_One, YOU SHALL NEVER WIN! I AM THE ONLY WINNER IN THIS UNIVERSE, GOT THAT? __**MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**__ *Cough, cough* Any who._

_Two, I wanna monster! It needs to have horns on its head while the rest of him is a hot human with abs XD _

Rakisu shoves me out of the way, making me draw a line through that sugar wreck, and writes something of her own.

_(Raksu: Sorry, please do not send that or the energy drink)_

I pout as she returns the pen, going back to write the rest with my own fingers and my own pen, not some Satanist who prays to a fucking star that I want to stab for some reason…Hmm…

_Me again. Meanie cousin interrupted my letter. DX_

_Three, okay, you two shall get married in a volcano while I dump grenades over your head. The slower you two are, the more blood that shall be shed~_

_Four, oh whatever, I'll ask._

I sign it off with 'The Most Awesome Vampy-Mc-Vamp-Vamp There Be~' and hand it to Rakisu. "Send this to the Demon Queen, wetch!"

"Excuse me?" her eye twitches.

"YOU HEARD ME!" I kick her through the wall. "MUSH MY MINIONS! **MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"**

Richard sighs and grabs one of the floorboards to use as a shield. "Too much alcohol," he concludes.

I then twirl around innocently with weird sparkles around my head (what stalker is torturing me with this magic?) and pick up her package, ripping it open and cutting my wrist on a needle. I ignore the cut completely and keep digging, the Styrofoam turning a nice red color. Yay~ Color changing Styrofoam! This shows that the packaging companies FINALLY got my letters! I get out some bleach which I start gulping down immediately, then a cannon, which I push to the side for a devious idea, a button, $10,000, and a IPad with a $50 ITunes gift card. "Ooh~ Electronics!" I kiss the screen. I see that the screen has foam on it. "Huh? Where's that coming from?"

"Probably your mouth," Richard points out, opening the other package. "Seeing you digested _bleach_."

"Oh yeah…Hey, is my tongue white?" I stick it out. He shakes his head sadly, looking slightly worried. "Damn…WHY IS MY TONGUE CURSED TO BE PINK!"

"Meow," Lucifer the Death Demon bites my sock as Angel Fluff paws at Lucifer's face.

"AW!" I hug both, swinging my torso right to left with stalker hearts around my head. "Too cute~ Too cute~ Too cute!"

Richard is now hiding on the other side of the bed he sits on. "What the Hell? Is this why Dad tells us not to give you alcohol?**!"**

Rakisu stomps back in and grabs my stuff, storing them in their proper places. I pout and Richard shows me the second package. It's from Yuki, my future apprentice. She has gifted me with five kitty-witty potions and some weird bombs labeled 'illegal and make people act drunk' (I'm already drunk through dental hygiene~). I think for a minute before looking at the cats pawing at my shirt to stay near me. "My dear kitties…" I start laughing maniacally. **"WE SHALL RULE TODAY!"**

"And…she's lost," Richard huffs.

I grab him and tie a rope around his neck, yanking the end and making him let out some cross between 'Help' and 'Yack'. "No-no~" I sing, giggling like a fan girl. "Brothie stays with me."

"OH GOD I'M DYING A VIRGIN!" he wails, struggling with all his might.

"Good, so when Beet dies a hooker, she can show you the ropes~"

He stops before going all demonic and starts jerking my neck back and forth as my face rapidly turns lavender with oxygen-lack. **"I DARE YOU TO REPEAT THAT AGAIN!"**

"I DON'T THINK SHE CAN WITH YOU CHOKING HER!" Rakisu tries to save me.

My savior: My kitties and their sharp, little claws dug into Richard's ankle~

**Drunk Kitties**

**Supplies: Drunk bombs, kitty potion. **

Bringing this back for the millionth time…Even though I never really keep up to this and the morals (stupid me…). I sneak to the Night Dorms (where else am I able to pull off this kind of crap?) and bang Richard's head on the door as his punishment for nearly killing his favorite sister. HOW DARE HE? I AM THE FURTURE QU-Off topic, off topic! I slam my own hand against the door and Kaname finally answers it. "…" He slams it right afterwards. I growl and keep banging Richard's head against the door until Kaname opens it up again, looking tired. "What?"

"A couple of things," I push past. "Before I start, anything to ask me?"

"Yes. One, why do you exist?"

"To reign over this dump you call an academy."

"…" He shakes his head in either disappointment or fatigue. Probably the latter, seeing he can't hate me, right? [:)] "Two, then…Why is your brother on a _leash_?"

"Hey, you do it with everyone!" I pout.

"…No, I really don't…"

"Well, you have figurative leashes! Mine is actually real because everything in your life is phony! Well, except your wedding with Kurosei…"

His face grows red. Must be embarrassed. "…_**WHAT?**_"

"Oh, nothing~ So can I get to my questions, you time hog, or do we have to keep revolving the world around you?"

Richard sighs and sits on the ground, tracing patterns into the ground like those crazy people that have nothing better to do and just want to create images of weird things like 'common sense', 'maturity', and all those other fairy tale thingies. "No, because I demand to know what this nonsense of marriage is!" he growls.

Wow, old fashioned to. These days, we say 'ain't', 'wanna', 'gotta', and 'FUCK FUCK FUCK WHERE IS THE TV REMOTE!'. "It's not nonsense. The demon queen demandith it, so SUCK IT UP AND FIND A WEDDING DRESS!" I push past. "Oh, and…" I drop the bombs and stomp on them, making them explode.

Kaname coughs and people start rushing in. "What the-" Hanabusa starts. He is then turned into a cute little kitty and yelps when Akatsuki is turned as well. "MEOW!" he clings to my leg, which contains Lucifer.

While fur flies along with Hanabusa-kitty blood, I stare at the room as Richard sighs. "I should really monitor your actions…"

"Aw, why?" I pout. "It's not like _I'm _killing anyone!"

He points back to Lucifer as she somehow beats Hanabusa's kitty head against the wall (I think there was too much radiation in the drunk bombs Mrs. Hoshino…). "Have a guess."

I glance around. Akatsuki-Kitty rubs his orange fur against my leg, purring with a cat smile. Ruka is nudging Kaname, who threatens to claw her eyes out. Rima and Senri are just _sitting_ like it had no effect (take note: DOES NOT WORK ON EMOS). Takuma is nomming at his little paws and Angel fluff is nudging my foot. I look down to see her with some detached paw.

"Um…Aren't you supposed to be the good one?" I ask.

**~~Funny Farm~~**

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS INSANITY ANYMORE!" Kaname roars at the Headmaster. "SHE! IS! OUT! OF! CONTROL!"

"Now, now, Kaname, Ann has always been this way," Headmaster replies.

"STOP ENABLING HER!" Kaname snaps. "I know she's blackmailing you, but you can get her expelled, can't you?"

"Look, Kaname, there's more to it than th-"

"EITHER YOU GET RID OF HER OR I DO!" Kaname stops out of the office, seeing me sitting in the hall next to the door. "Whack-job…" He stomps off.

I roll my eyes and hug my knees to my chest, looking at Richard on the other side of the hall with Lucifer and Angel Fluff on his head. "So…what now?" Richard asks.

"Well, I have a needle," I check my IPad, which I made a sticky note saying what I have today, "a cannon, and a mysterious button."

"Well, the needle's useless," he shrugs. "Might as well save that for a later time."

I nod. "So a cannon…" I snap my fingers. "Got it!"

**Cannon Drunk**

**Supplies: Cannon, one drunk bomb, a target**

"Um…" Yuki Cross scratches her head as she looks at the bomb in her hand. "This only makes you drunk, right?"

"Yep," I answer, setting up the cannon that's aimed to Zero. "Don't worry, the worse thing he'll get is a concussion from the impact."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely. Would I lie to you?"

"Yes."

"Oh…Ah well!" I laugh. Yuki hands me the bomb and I load it in, patting the top of the cannon. "Okay…FIRE IN TH-"

A large hand grabs my own and takes it off the cannon. I blink and turn to Zero. "I'd advise against it," he sighs.

"WHA?**!**" I look between him and the Zero I was aiming at. I rush over to see it's just a stupid cloth doll. "DAMN IT! FOOLED BY SOMETHING I'VE BEEN SLAUGHTERING FOR YEARS!" I rip it's head off. "WHY?**!** I NEVER LOSE!"

"…What the Hell are you rambling on about?" Zero and Yuki sweat-drop.

I slump and go next to my tree of woe, as it is so labeled. "I shouldn't be humiliated like this…" I weep. "First it's expulsion, now it's being tricked by a white-haired rapist…"

"Expulsion?" Zero gasps. Then something clicks in the hamster wheel in his head that powers his smooth lob of fat he calls a "brain". **"****AND I'M NOT A RAPIST!"**

"YOU KISSED ME AGAINST MY WILL!" I fly up in front of him, poking his chest.

"I WAS EXPRESSING MY FEELINGS!"

"THAT'S WHAT ALL THE PEDOS SAY!"

_Munch, munch, munch. _We both pause and turn gradually to Yuki, eating random popcorn and sitting on the ground. Once she sees we caught her, she waves her hand with a nervous smile. "Don't mind me, keep arguing."

I smile and giggle. See? She's evil! *Gasp* "MY LONG LOST SISTER!" I hug her. I then remember what the heck I was doing in the first place and turn to Zero. "Again, PEDO!"

He sighs and pockets his hands, looking at me. "I express my feelings for you, and you go on about me being a rapist…" He chuckles and looks at me with kind eyes that Pedos use before they sneak up on their prey, push them to the floor, an-You know what, this is 'T' so I should shut up before you little voices in my head get the 'Rape Talk' earlier than your parents would like. "That's _so_ you Ann."

I huff and cross my arms, pouting. "You're still a pedo. I can see it in your Pedo eyes that lead to your Pedo mind where the Pedo elves leave Pedo thoughts." I then glance at the cannon and sulk. "A pedo that was mean enough to not let me torture him…"

He laughs and walks over, patting my head. "Okay, okay, but what's this about expulsion?"

"Kuran," Richard says, walking over. "Hey Kiryu, Cross."

"Hello~" Yuki waves energetically.

Zero's eyebrows tuck together. "Kuran?"

"Yeah, she made the Night Class into drunk cats. Hanabusa is in the infirmary because of that crazy Black Cat of hers…"

I grab Marvin off of the bracelet and jam his head into Richard's ribs. "HER NAME IS LUCIFER THE DEATH DEMON!" I shriek.

Zero and Yuki winces as Richard jerks, landing on the ground roughly. "…Okay…" Yuki stands. "Can't we talk to Kaname?"

"But that's boring," I huff. "Don't you know me by now?"

Zero chuckles and walks off. "I don't see why we should get involved," he calls back.

My jaw drops. _HE HATES KURAN! HE SHOULD BE JUMPING AT THE SHOT! WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THAT PEDO!_ I turn red and look around. "Um…"_ Something to get him to help…fast…Um!...I KNOW! _"TWO THINGS!" I run, tackling him to the ground.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL?_!_" he winces.

"One," I poke his nose, sitting on his chest while his back is pressed to the ground, "you hate Kuran. Two, and I can't believe I'm saying this…But if you help me…" I gulp roughly. "…I'll go on ONE date with you."

He jumps up, me falling off and bumping into the ground. He's smiling and blushing, making me sweat-drop. I mean who the heck is this Zero-Imposter?_!_ "WELL W-WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR!" he grabs my collar, dragging me off. "LET'S KILL A PUREBLOOD!"

"AH!" I scream. "YUKI! HELP! ZERO'S PEDO SENSES ARE ON FULL-THROTLE!"

**Moral: Zero's a pedo, plain and simple. NO EXCEPTIONS.**


	22. Chapter 22

_Twenty__-__Two_

Since some dumb-ass made it a taboo to kill Purebloods, we decided torture was the best option. And I asked ALL of the Night Class, and NONE of them said it was illegal. See? _I know the law_! But before that…

"Fan-Mail with Ann Show!" Yuki announces.

"Oh boy…" Zero face-palms.

"And this is what I have to live with," Richard yawns on his bed.

Rakisu is dressed up in a dark robe and a dagger (something about 'Traditional Garments'…). She hands me a note and package from 'Kurosei'. This ought a be good!

_ANN SOOO I DIDNT FEEL LIKE WRITITN OUT A LIST SOOOO EVERYTHING IS IN HERE. 6 PACK OF MNSTER, A REAL MONSTER TO YOUR SPECULATIONS, ANN ROBOT (IT LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU) HINT HINT, AND SUGER YOUR GETTING LOW... ANYWHO, YOU BETTER NOT BE PLANNING TO HURT MY KANA... IF YOU ARE *DARK AURA* MWA AHHAHAHAHAHA. *COUGH COUGH* ANYWAY, IF YOU WANT TO GO ONT THE DATE WITH ZERO JSUT SEND THE ROBOT..;p  
YOUR FOLLOWER WHO WILL KILL YOU IF YOU HURT HER KANA, KUROSEI_

…That's not good.

That's not good at all!

"BLACKMAIL!" I jump, clinging to Yuki. "IT'S THE BLACKMAIL! I'M CURSED TO BE DEAD IF I TORTURE MRS. KUROSEI!"

Zero (or Zewo if you want to be cutsie) rolls his eyes and opens the package and removes the following: six packs of monster, that monster I ordered, the Ann Robot, sugar, and another pack of sugar that is an odd white and labeled 'Cocaine'. That a new brand or something? Any who, Rakisu takes the speculated monster away, making me through a hissy (that's what Mom called it) and give Zero and Richard a shocking of a life-time. Yuki just hides behind the mini-set that I still have no idea why I made this stupid 'show' idea in the first place. I mean we even forgot the camera this time! It's pointless if you think of it.

So Rakisu returns, checking the rest of that package and swipes a Monster energy-drink for her(selfish)self. She hands me a package and note from 'Night' which gives me hopes that this isn't blackmail or a _death note_, hehe.

…

Oh screw you.

_Dear Drunk Queen Ann,  
I hope you had a fun day bombing people And I have decided you need more weapons, it seems you are running out. And I am sorry for your expulsion. *hangs head and prays sadly before beaming* I have sent more in the package that shall flop onto you 5 seconds after this is read. Also I have put a locator in it so it should locate you anywhere you are  
Your loyal mentally disturbed follower, Night the Darkness of your Nightmares._

And I shall send a package with two daggers(they're twins), a shotgun with extra shells for it, a new dart pen, a improved whip pen, and camera recording glasses(like the ones Freddy from Icarly made! XD)

So it's a stalker is what you're telling me. After two seconds, a big honking package goes through the ceiling and takes one extra second to slam onto my head and throw the knives at the bottom to stab through. You can tell the rest. "OW! MEANIE KNIVES! _OW!"_

"Are you okay?_!_" Zero gets the knives out of my head.

I cling to him like a baby. "Owie!" I whine. "Meanie knives…MEANIE BITCHY KNIVES!" I then start destroying the knives before I see the dust and curse a little. "Oops…Sorry Night." Richard then slaps me. That enough gets the fact that she's not here into my head. "Oh, thanks Richard."

"Don't mention it," he unpacks the package, putting it in a pile.

Zero hands me a pen and paper. "Write this down so you don't forget."

I nod and got them down.

_**Torture **_

_Ann Robot_

_Cocaine_

_Shotgun_

_Dart Pen_

_Whip Pen (Wilma, William's twin sister!)_

_Camera glasses_

I honestly don't know what she's talking about running low on weapons. I jingle my weapons bracelet and smile. Chibi weapons are so cute~ Rakisu hands two more packages with two more notes and goes back to praying to Satan (seriously, my cousin has worse issues than I do O_O). I then realize what I thought and start chugging down sugar. "YOU DID SOMETHING YOU PEDO!" I whine at Zero.

"Me?" he chokes. "AND I'M NOT A PEDO!"

I grab Sebastian the Scythe off the chain. "LIES!"

"AH!"

**~~Funny Farm~~**

"Okay…after _that_ interruption…" I grab the packages and notes from Yuki, who stares at me like I'm a lunatic (or BECAUSE I'm the lunatic queen XD). The first note and package are from 'Yuki' (package) and 'Mika' (note). I then switch the notes to get a matching set, opening the note.

_Yuki: I should probably get my mom to send some more of those bombs..they seem to disappear quickly But I brought a case of different types of bombs just in case. :)_

I then set the box on my bracelet, a plan already configured into my genius box (haha~ I'm confusing you~). I swallow more sugar and cocaine (making Zero and Richard bug their eyes out and fight me for it). The victor being Zero, because I refuse to punch girls (I'm a saint~), I sulk and open the last note and package. I eat the containing chocolate as I read.

_Ann,  
Don't kill me for no letter! I have that love potion for Kurosi (whatever I can't spell her name to save my life!) Meow, I like cats so her is a potion that you slip in people's food to turn them in to tigers! Do you need chocolate? You seem to be acting strange. I think the drunk bombs got to you as well. Have some chocolate anyway! Nom.  
Any anime characters, potions or random crp you need, just ask!  
Mika xx  
All hail her majesty Ann!_

Now why would I kill one of my loyal subjects? I grab the love potion for Kurosei and give it to Angel Fluff to deliver. I think my owl/hawk/bird was killed, but I can't remember…Damn drunk bombs. I write a short note to Mrs. Hoshino:

_Mrs. Hoshino,_

_Thank you for the drunk bombs!_

_But I have two, repeat, 2 complaints, dos, du, whatever's Japanese for '2'. Oh, and II! _

_One-Too much radiation(seriously, I live for__** mostly**__ torture, not __**always**__ murder. Like the Queen of Hearts from __Alice in Wonderland__!...I think…)_

_Two-Memory loss. MY MEMORIES ARE PRECIOUS TO ME!_

_Thank you for providing Yuki in whatever year she was born and thank you for all the destructive bombs~_

_Your Future Queen of Cross Academy and Torturer of All Annoying Vampies and Plushies,_

_Ann 'Demon Gone Out of Hand' Siam_

Rakisu takes it and walks out for delivery, like a good slave~ A dagger then nearly stabs my head. "I AM NOT A SLAVE!" she calls back.

I'm beaming. Such a great cousin, huh? Terrifying, like Santa when he goes into Rape Mode! I put the Tiger Potion into my inventory and stand up. "Okay! Time for…**REVENGE OF THE PLUSH CREW!"**

"No way in-"-I aim Marvin at Zero's neck-"…Ugh…this date better be worth it."

Eh, whatever the robot gives him will be decided on worth by him.

**SHOTGUN-DAGGER THE TIGERS!**

**Supplies: Shotgun, daggers, Tiger potion, annoying night class victims**

"Okay, Evil Brunette, do you copy?" I ask into the radio.

"_I told you, call me Yuki…"_ she pouts.

"Okay, okay, Evil Brunette Yuki." She grunts in defeat on the other end. "Slip the tiger potion into their food…NOW."

I hear the 'pop' of a cork from a graduated cylinder (that's right, BIG WORDS!) and liquid being poured. _"__Yuki, what are you doing~?" _Kaname is heard slightly singing on the other end.

_-Gulp-"Shit…"_

Nothing but static. "Evil Brunette?" I ask. "Evil Brunette?_!_" Still static. **"****NOO!"**

**Shotgun Rescue!**

**Supplies: Shotgun, Zero, Richard**

"Sexy Pedo and Best Brother, do you copy?" I growl into the microphone, the camera glasses on my face facing the Night Dorms.

"_Yes!"_ Richard states all commando like. He's the only one who'll cooperate though.

"Sexy Pedo, awaiting copy," I tap my finger on a branch.

"…_Sexy Pedo copies."_

I smile in victory. "Okay, break in and find Evil Brunette…NOW!"

I hear the door crash down and focus the camera on the Night Dorms. Richard and Zero enter. A few flashes go off. Silence dawns on the air as leaves float down to the ground dramatically.

"_Did you REALLY think that would work, Ann?"_ Kaname chuckles darkly.

"FUCKING DAMN IT!" I throw the radio and glasses onto the ground, breaking both.

**Whine to the Headmaster**

**Supplies: Vocal Cords, Headmaster**

I stomp to the Headmaster's office to see 'Out for Lunch' on his door. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?**!**" I kick the door. "LITTLE PUNK ASS SON OF A-"

Someone prods my bracelet. "Do you NOT see Wilma and the dart pen?" Rakisu huffs.

"Oh yeah~"

**The Battle of Bitchy Hill**

**Supplies: Lethal pens, a pissed off thiourteen-year-old**

"Okay…" I huff at the door of the Night Dorms. "The Battle of Bitchy Hill commences…NOW!" I kick the door down and I'm suddenly pinned to the wall. **"****ARE YOU KIDDING ME?**!" I throw both attackers off with rage.

They slam into the wall and ice freezes my leg to the ground. "Sorry Ann!" Hanabusa sighs. "Kaname-sama-"

I stomp out the ice and shoot him with a dart, making him slam into the ground. I blink at the pen. "Poisonous…NI-I-ICE!" I holler, dashing upstairs. "KANAME YOU ASKED FOR THIS!"

Upstairs I confront most of the Night Class, but it's too bloody for 'T' purposes, so Linkin forces me to cut it out (meanie -3-). I finally burst through Kaname's dorm door with plushy stuffing all over me, blazing red eyes, a rat's nest for hair, bloody clothes, and a pen caked in blood (so I stabbed someone's eye with William. I WAS FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE). **"****KANAME YOU MOTHER FU-"**

"Ann~" Yuki waves. "You're here!"

I freeze and stare in utter defeat at the relaxing 'kidnap victims' and the calm 'kidnapper'. "…**WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!**" I flail my arms, a million stalker tick-marks on my head. I grab them and chuck them out the window. **"****NOT! NOW!"**

"Easy," Zero sighs, "Kuran here got us and locked us in here. The door was locked from the outside until you came."

Richard scrambles behind me and stares at Kaname fearfully. "To be honest, his kindness scares me more…"

I pat Richard's head. "It's okay, Brothie~ It's okay~" I then glare at Kaname. "WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO GET RID OF ME?"

His face soon sours, making Yuki flinch and grip Zero's arm. He pats her head in response. "_Why?" _Kaname stands, arms crossed. He glares down at me like I'm some flea. "You've been nothing but a pain in my ass since you arrived here, understood? I try to be kind, but that little act yesterday was IT."

"It being…" I roll my hand for emphasis.

"IT being the line," he growls. "I've had it Ann. I can't stand you anymore!"

"That's fine," I shrug. "Just don't try to expel me." He raises a brow. "Look Kaname…_sama_…" I choke out that last bit. I then swallow a chocolate bar to try and get the bad taste of politeness off of my tongue. "Where was I? Oh yeah. If you take me away from Cross, I'll never take it over. I'll be forced to go back to my old school and trust me, they're used to all my antics and what not, and I've been there for _five years._ It's not fun anymore. Here, on the other hand, it's full of idiot girls and secret devious minds." I point to Yuki at the mention of this. "This is a psycho's haven, for crying out loud. Now, if you won't acknowledge my speech here, at the Battle of Bitchy Hill, then my proud species of psychopath…" I pretend to sniffle. "Will be disgraced until another Queenly Maniac, which is highly unlikely to be born, will rise and fight for our proud name!"

I blink when I find myself standing on the desk, a hand over my heart while the other is clenched into a fist, high above my head. Richard smiles and I can tell he's trying to contain his laughter. Insensitive jerk. Kaname sighs and taps his temple, stuck in thought. Man is he one for being confused. "…Okay. I'll give you a chance. But NO drunk bombs, understood? It made me forget what I was going to do today."

I smile genuinely, stalker sparkles flying around me. "Okay~ Next time I'll just use shock bombs like Yuki sent~"

"…What?"

I skip out and throw shock bombs off the stair rail nearby. "OW!"

"ANN!" Kaname runs out. "GIVE ME THOSE!"

"Okay~" I run away, chucking them behind me.

"GAH! YOU LITTLE-" I tune him out. Someone trips me and makes me crash into a wall. "Thank you Miss Kurosei."

"You're welcome Kaname~ Oh, and can you take this? I heard it heals shocking-affects."

I grumble and get onto my knees. Leave it to Kurosei to break my nose to slip Kaname that love potion. _Gulp. Gulp. Gulp._ I sigh and get onto my feet, walking forward. Zero, Yuki, and Richard catch up. "Are you okay?" Zero asks.

I nod with a smile. "Yeah. I might have lost those tiny battles earlier…" I jump in a victory pose. "BUT I WON THE WAR!"

"EEP!" Yuki shrieks.  
"ANN!" Richard calls.

"THAT'S A WINDOW YOU IDIOT!" Zero scolds.

I blink and look down to see me above grass. I look behind me to see an open window. _Oops…_"AHHH!"

**Moral: DO NOT MESS WITH ME.**

**Second Moral: DON'T JUMP THROUGH OPEN WINDOWS IN A VICTORY LAPSE! DX**

**Last chapter coming some time when Linkin gets off her lazy ass.**


	23. Chapter 23: Chapter De Last

_Twenty-Three_

_Subtitle: Chapter De Last_

"_NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_" DAMN YOU ZERO KIRYU! I mourn over the loss of the Ann-bot (CURSE YOU LINKIN AND ALL YOUR OFFSPRING! **I have offspring?** STOP GETTING INTO MY HEAD!). Seriously! WHAT THE HELL?_!_ THAT WAS YOUR DATE YOU MORON! Well, I said I would, BUT THIS IS ME IN BOTTY FORM! YOU CROOK! YOU MURDERER! YOU _CRIMINAL!_ Rakisu and Richard shake their heads at me as I weep theatrically over my dead present. As if he cares, Richard hands me three envelopes and a couple of packages. My last ones for my psycho-log because I'm running out of space.

Seriously E-bay, ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING RIP OFFS!

I sniffle and take the ones from Kurosei. This better not be Blackmail again…

_ANN-_

_SORRY ABOUT THE NOSE... BUT I DID WARN YOU...- ANYWAY I KNEW YOU WULD STILL TRY TO ATTACK HIM EVEN AFTER MY THREAT! SO MY PLANO SLIP HIM THE POTION WORKED OUT PERFECTLY! YAY! BUT BACK TO SOME RANDOM SUBJECT I REALLY CANT BELIEVE YOU FELL OUT A WINDOW... WELL ACTUALLY I CAN BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT... POLIETNESS REALLY DOESNT SOOT YOU THOUGH... IT KIND OF CREEPED ME OUT WHEN YOU CALLED KANA KANAME-SAMA... ON A SCALE OF CREEPY FOR 1-10 THAT WAS 1000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000... ON AND ON AND ONFOR ABOUT 50 MOE ZEROS... I CAN HELP YOU GET ACK AT HANABUSA THOUGH FOR FREEZZING YOUR LEG! - BUT IL NEED TO KNOW YOU FAVEOITE COLOR.. BECAUSE I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT COLOR TO MAKE THE FIRE WHEN I BURN HIS PRECIOUS 'COLLECTION'... IM BORED AND SO THIS LETTER IS UBER LONG ND DRAWN OUT.._

_YULOYAL FOLLOWER THAT IS NOT REALLY SORRY AOUT BREAKING YOUR NOSE, THATS IS WATCHING AND STALKING YOU TO MAKE SURE YOU DO NOT HARM HER KANA AND IS GOING TO SET HANABUSA'S MOST PRIZED POSSESIONS ON FIRE..._

_-KUROSEI_

_PS- NEXT TIME YU GO TO WHNE AT HE HEAD MASTER REMIND ME TO GIE YOU SOME VOICE AMPLIPHIERS_

_-MAGANITE POTION(ATTRACTS METAL TO THE DRINKER)_

_-HEALING CREAM(YOU PROBOLOY HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THE TRUCKLOAD I SENT YOU IS)_

_-VAMPIRE PLUSHYS_

_-PIPE BOMB_

_-DIMIMITE_

…That's nice…Any who, it's Red, Blood red. And send me a picture of Hanabusa's face when it's gone!

…Even though I have no clue what his 'collection' is.

I mean I have Blackmail on a lot of people, but I try to avoid Hanabusa. I shudder at the thought of him. If he's still in love with me I swear…I shake my head and unpack the box, which is fairly large. I get the ladder (Rakisu found it necessary) and set it against the cardboard, climbing up and diving in. "GERONIMO!" I yell. I land on something soft and check my toocus (it's a word in my kingdom -3-) to find vampire plushies. "PLUSHY!" I squeal, getting out the chainsaw and shredding them all apart, stuffing flying all around me. **"MUHAHAHAHAHA!"**

When all my psycho rage again E-bay is at least gone, I check the other materials. Something labeled 'Maganite Potion' (which I guess is supposed to be 'Magnet Potion' due to the description tag), healing cream is plentiful, a quarter ripped up due to my chainsaw's destruction lust. I whistle in innocence and chuck those out of the box, along with the plushy corpses of course. I dig up a pipe bomb and several sticks of dynamite. I climb out, sort of wondering how to use all of this on my date with Zero (today).

_Dear Queen Ann, _

_I feel bad that you broke the glasses in anger and shall give you two more pairs(try NOT to BREAK them this time), and if you need more ammo for anything just ask By the way your speech was... SO HEARTWARMING! IT WAS ALL SO TRUE BUT NOTHING WILL BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU! - Tuv you Not in that way though that's just creepy_

_I hope your robots date goes well_

_Your loyal mentally disturbed follower, Night the Darkness of your Nightmares!_

Aw, such a sweet letter~ I give it a kiss in appreciation (Richard making a wise crack about how it's from Kaname and giving me the opportunity to use the pipe-bomb). The next one comes just as fast as the la-

_Ann,_

_Can you do me one tiny weeny favour? Yes? I hope you are going to say yes because I won't allow my queen to say no. My new cat (he is called Aaron!) Me You All of your followers Equals the best party ever!_

_Think about it (I was going to say sleep on it, but I don't think vampires sleep...) and if you think so then let all of us know in time! Oh ya... Kitty shaped chocolate! And for your awesome cousin some cat shaped candles (I am obsessed with cats!)_

_Any anime characters, potions or random crp you need, just ask!_

_Mika xx_

_All hail her majesty Ann!_

Obsessing over cats is good! If you don't have something to obsess over, you lose a portion of insanity. Like I obsess over weapon babies~ Seriously.

**GOOGLE IT.**

Anyway, the small package contains the chocolate and candles. I eat both just so Rakisu can stop her Satanist ways and come join me with all the torture fun~

**Side Moral: Wax does not agree with thy digestive system.**

Maybe I should start numbering these…"GET ME TO A BATHROOM!"

**~~Funny Farm~~**

I limp all the way to town, dragging the dynamite, potion, and a stress-plushy (because everyone needs to squeeze a vampire-plushy head to relax). The healing potion I used all on my poor stomach. This time, I damn Rakisu. Not Zero. Not Linkin. **RAKISU**. Her fault for making me worry about her Satanist ways (-.-). Selfish she is, SELFISH. But still, the best cousin ever~

As I enter town, people stare as if they haven't seen a mentally insane vampire before. Well, vampire I can understand, but everyone sees a crazy person here and there, whether or not it's in the mirror. Zero is to be found at a small Parfait place, waiting patiently. I hop into the booth, sitting across from him of course, and smile. "So, how would you like to be tortured today?" I force out a voice of sweetness except one of a murderer.

He smiles and chuckles. "I'm sure I'll be tortured by this bad date."

My jaw drops. OH NO HE-Wait…WHY THE HELL SHOULD I CARE?**!** A waitress with HUGE HONKING eyes comes over, blinking at me as I scoot as far to the left of the booth I can. _WHY CAN'T I GO THROUGH THE WALL?__**! **_"…Is something wrong?" she asks innocently.

I bet those eyes of hers are like cameras the FBI sent to watch me. Yeah, I have some PRETTY bad rep with American Government Agencies…"A chocolate Parfait and a water please," Zero mumbles. She nods and walks off, giving me time to grab the dynamite and start lighting them. **"WHAT THE HELL?!**"

"THE FBI AIN'T TAKING ME TODAY!" I aim a lighted stick for the back of her head.

Zero, apparently wanting me gone, grabs the stick (…) and chucks it out a window.

_**BAM!**_

"EEK! My poodle!"

…Oops…

**~~FUCKING HILARIOUS PIECE OF SHIZ~~**

I'm laughing so hard my pants could fly off any second. Huh. Never was sure what that phrase meant. Meh, I'll (not) look it up later. So, to explain and not leave my dear readers clueless, I slipped the magnet potion into Zero's water and now over half of the building is clinging to him. It's just funny to see how ridiculous he looks. I would show you a picture, but my camera went with, so *frownie*. I eat my Parfait with a plastic spoon, seeing the metal went, again, to Zero.

"Wow Zero, metal sure loves you!" I laugh maniacally.

"Oh shut up. I know you did something," he mumbles beneath Bloody Rose.

It's nice to know what's made of metal. For example, the old coot's leg~ Yeah, there's this old geezer that sits at the corner of the place and stares at all the kids here. Kind of creepy…I keep eating, and we sit in silence until I get bored with it. "So, Ichiru okay?" I wonder. I can't have my torture victims dying ya' know.

"Yeah, he's actually around here somewhere's…When does this wear off aga-" The objects fall off. "…Never mind."

"It's mean for a mind to be nevered," I mutter, clicking the stopwatch button. I glance at it to read the time record. "…6 minutes and 23.3 seconds." I examine the vial. "Oh, some blood got in it, so it messed it up."

"Bummer," Zero chuckles.

I glare. "Don't mock your queen!" I shock him.

"AHAHAYAHAYA!" he jerks. "Okay! Okay! Sorry!"

I sit up straight and dig into my Parfait ferociously (okay, that's an exaggeration because I can't be cruel to my frozen scoops of joy~). "Jeez, I could be pouring dissected frog guts on the Day Class girls now!" I grumble.

He blinks the first few seconds before sighing, looking somewhat melancholy. "You said you would if I helped," he says into his palm.

Apparently his palm promised him something. What? I don't know, ask the rapist in front of me. "And? Doesn't mean I would like it," I flick ice cream at his face. He lets it hit. Well, more along the fact he's too dazed off to even bother. "Hey! You're supposed to react!" I whine.

He huffs and smiles at me. "Hehe, sorry."

I turn into a chibi (source unknown) and blink cute little beady eyes before whipping out ole' Uncle Pepper-Spray. "RAPE!" I smash the button into the canister.

"YEEEEEEEOW!"

I hurry up and start to run. "HA-"

_**SLAM!**_

Why, oh why, are the last segments always the most painful?

"Hello Ann~" Hanabusa hugs me, removing all air from my lungs. "I didn't know you would be here!"

…Seriously, _**WHY?**_

"DOUBLE RAPE!" I bite his hand.

"HEY!" He snatches his hand back to check for damages.

I duck behind Zero as most of the store stares. Zero glares and grabs Bloody Rose off of the floor. "What are you doing here?" he growls.

Hanabusa blinks before slumping a little. "Well, Kaname told me to take a day off and go get ice-cream or somethin'…Said Kurosei suggested it."

...

…

…

;_;

'Tis cruel, Madam Kurosei, for you hath sprung upon me thast dastardly rapist…ith. For that, I bow to you mentally for thy victory in our battle of (somewhat) wits. –Bow- "What are you bowing for?" Zero asks.

I blink at the ground. "DAMN IT! Bad body! THE BOW WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MENTAL!"

"Oh, so you're respecting me now," Hanabusa chuckles.

I growl and squeeze the stress-plushy until it's head crushes under my steel grip. **"NOT. OVER. MY. DEAD. CORPSIE."**

Either I think of some torture methods fast, or I'll never be able to take over Cross Academy locked in a Rapist team's basement!

**~~THIS IS SO NOT FUNNY!~~**

**~~STOP LAUGHING!~~**

**~~STOP~~**

**~~STOP RIGHT NOW!~~**

**~~…~~**

**~~Thank you~~**

I'm stuck.

In an awkward silence.

With two rapists.

THAT'S NOT SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF.

I tap William on the table in his pen form, looking down at a napkin with scribbled signatures reading: _Ann 'D.G.O.O.H' Siam_. Dgooh. That's my middle name. DGOOH. See? SEE WHAT HAPPENS UNDER THE SICK, TWISTED TORTURE OF 'AWKWARD'?**!** I huff and turn William into a whip, looking around. _Two vampires…Two vampires…I annoyed Zero twice, so does that count? NO! I need to find a way to get under Hanabusa's skin…If that is used properly. _I huff and try to climb over Zero. "Outta' my way, vampire in need of creamy deliciousness comin' through!"

"**OW!" **he roars when I accidentally step on his nads.

Thrice.

Make that annoyed Zero thrice.

**~~SOMEONE HELP ME~~**

With a big, nasty lump on my precious little head, I eat my ice cream in silence. Hanabusa and Zero are glaring at one another until I decide to levitate the ice-cream bowl over Hanabusa's head.

Done!

"Hey!" Hanabusa pouts. "Ann-koi!"

Zero and I glare at him with demonic expressions until we decide to rip the table in half and beat the rapist with said furniture. _**"KOI?**__!_" we roar.

The manager kicks all three of us out after Hanabusa is mangled and crippled. Seeing he won't leave us alone, we decide to go looking around through the market just for kicks. I spot a gun booth, which makes me perfectly ecstatic, but Zero is quick to drag me away. I honestly have no protest to this action because he's dragging me to a toy stand.

The two of us empty our spare cash on _moi_ for stress plushy-toys and pleasure plushy-toys. I 'huggle' (as some would put it; me included) an adorable (judge and Mr. Fluffy-Wuns will slaughter you) bunny the size of me, his 'fur'-made from some unknown material; poison ivy perhaps?-black and the little marbles for eyes colored red. I keep throwing him at Zero in attempts to annoy him, but he just laughs. After each laugh, I always hit him in some region, avoiding the nads this time because I don't want to give you readers any ideas of 'fan-service'. I'm a fan of something myself, SO I KNOW HOW YOU THINK! I just don't know where you live.

I guess you're parents are grateful for that fact.

Eventually, I tire out, so I just sit on a bench using Mr. Fluffy-Wuns as a pillow. "So tired…" I complain.

Zero sits next to my head, patting it. I hold no objection because a good pat to the head always knocks out the cells of common sense. I got that from some guy online, so it must be true! "I have a question," he says as he watches Hanabusa be bombarded by out-of-school fan girls.

THEY.

ARE.

EVERYWHERE.

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEELP!

"Shoot," I shrug weakly. His gun cocks and a cold muzzle is touched to my temple. "I meant the question, jackass."

He laughs, making me hug Mr. Fluffy-Wons and pray that I'll at least live until I fulfill my life-time goal of OBLITERATING THAT **ANNOYING** _PEST_ _**AL**_.

**Random fact of the day: Ann is in 'Annoying'.**

"'I knew that," he removes the muzzle.

"That's what they all say…" I yawn. I notice the sun is setting. "Holy shit it's sunset already? STAY UP YOU LAZY SUN AND LET ZERO ASK HIS QUESTION!"

A pale hand rests on my head, rubbing against my hair to make it shift. It scratches my eyes and to be honest, I'm not liking that the least bit. "…Anyways…" he gulps as if nervous. "…Why do you hate me so much?"

I open my mouth to answer, but words refuse to form. And that be-ith how my downfall came to thee, my reader.

God I have to stop reading _Hamlet._ It hurts my head and fills the empty caverns where the common rubbish used to be. Also, it makes my vocabulary sound formal. **FUCK. FORMALITY.**

"…No idea to be honest," I admit, turning weak with fatigue. My brain is also too tired to fight against this conspiracy in my head.

"Then…" he looks down at me gently. "Can we…ya' know…" He grabs my hand and squeezes it softly.

"Not in a million years," I stuff his face with rabbit-plushy. "If you want me, you're gonna have to try harder than _softie."_

He smirks, which reminds me of Rakisu's angered expression.

**A vicious smirk with dark miasma engulfing her as she chuckles, all your fears and nightmares being brought forth at once by the homicidal flicker of her eyes.**

I shudder and feel the pain of falling off that branch. Maybe because I fell off the bench. Hmm…Nope. No connections there! "W-What are you smirking for!" I demand.

He points to my pocket. "Where do you think your dynamite went?"

I blink and check my pockets. Empty. Thinking the hardest I possibly can (picking the first thing that comes to mind), I turn to Hanabusa. "Dear God…" I moan as I see he's next to a barbeque stand. "RUN!"

Zero laughs and follows as I drag him and Mr. Fluffy-Wons away, the concluding statement ending my second term in the Annoying the Vamps office as it's Queen.

_**BOOM!**_

**Ann: Third segment of my adventures of slowly taking over Cross Academy will have this following information:**

**Title: Annoying the Vamps 3**

**Author(Okay she's really just a sponsor): Linkinparkfan9799**

**Genre: Humor, Fantasy**

**See you all soon loyal subjects!**

**NOTE: The new one shall start with a party, so bring gifts!**

**Linkin: Don't. **

**Ann: :( YES.**

**Linkin: DON'T.**

**Ann: -3- Meanie.**


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